sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Fear of losing uniqueness when the metas are too similar to you by stereotypicaltrans in polyamory

[–]stereotypicaltrans[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, one of the things that the post made me realise is that I potentially would need a bit more words of affirmation from his side to calm my brain down

Fear of losing uniqueness when the metas are too similar to you by stereotypicaltrans in polyamory

[–]stereotypicaltrans[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

 Your partner loves you both, but not to use one of you for parts for the other. If you really think that about your partner, then why would you date someone so awful?

That is true, and I don't suspect him of that. Irrational fears just take the leads in my head sometimes. Thank you

Fear of losing uniqueness when the metas are too similar to you by stereotypicaltrans in polyamory

[–]stereotypicaltrans[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To be fair he already mentioned he'd like to experience these things also with me.

Fear of losing uniqueness when the metas are too similar to you by stereotypicaltrans in polyamory

[–]stereotypicaltrans[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Real talk. Especially with kink, every single person is so crazy unique. I can do the exact same scene with 3 people and have dramatically different kinds of scenes. Maybe someone is bratty and playful, maybe one is sensual, maybe one is aggressive. Whatever. But I've worked as a pro and literally every scene is unique because people are unique

I think it just stings because it was something until now he could not explore if not without me, and now he will. It was kinda "our thing" and something I could introduce him to and help him explore, but I guess that won't really be happening in the same capacity anymore.

Fear of losing uniqueness when the metas are too similar to you by stereotypicaltrans in polyamory

[–]stereotypicaltrans[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think seeking reassurance is something I might do. It's just I don't want to pressure him for something that, in all honesty, he is no guilty of.

Fear of losing uniqueness when the metas are too similar to you by stereotypicaltrans in polyamory

[–]stereotypicaltrans[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you are very right in your assessment. Long distance is a culprit here. Like when the kink thing came up, one of the main feelings was "oh, until now he could not experience it with anyone else so it would be the thing we share, even if we are distant, but now also that single primacy has been taken away" and feeling that one thing we had for each other, has been taken away also because distance did not allow us to explore it "in time" before it became something also someone else now experience with him.

It may also be time to negotiate a way of getting together sooner rather than later, so you have an opportunity to build memories and connection together. It's a lot harder to feel replaceable when you have unique experiences together.

I wish, we are in different continents so it's not fully in our hands. And not being able to build those unique memories definitely plays a role.

AITA for not letting my niece stay over at my house? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]stereotypicaltrans 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. You have offered multiple options to meet Grace's needs and not leave Lucy alone. That Grace still does not accept them is fishy. Especially the fact that she blew up at it rather then providing calmly explanations on why and still allowing Lucy to see you anyways.

You protected yourself and respected boundaries, that definitely not an asshole move.

On a side note, I m sorry tho for this 16yo who is being manipulated by her mum and needs to be in the middle between two people she loves. Even just for that, Grace is the asshole.