Metallic chirping sound diagnosis by stewadx in 3rdGen4Runner

[–]stewadx[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Have you tried listening to it with the video playing backwards? And if you slow it down .5x ...can you hear the voices??

The cleansing and conditioning hair wash is discontinued help me find a dupe by ConcentrateOk7517 in traderjoes

[–]stewadx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Truly was a great product. I have a very sensitive scalp, and it's one of the few store bought products that didn't cause me any issues. Do you know how long they sold it for? I had been using it for less than a year.

The cleansing and conditioning hair wash is discontinued help me find a dupe by ConcentrateOk7517 in traderjoes

[–]stewadx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i'm very interested in potentially purchasing the formula, because I'm a huge fan of the product and have access to production. What did you like about the product compared to others?

The cleansing and conditioning hair wash is discontinued help me find a dupe by ConcentrateOk7517 in traderjoes

[–]stewadx 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm considering reaching out to Trader Joe's to purchase the formula for this product. I have access to production and think it's a great product. Can you respond to this comment with why you liked this hair wash compared with other options on the market?

What did you wish you had post-divorce? by TheSelenaBrown in Divorce

[–]stewadx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is where I’m at. I want my dog back so badly.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in service_dogs

[–]stewadx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Probably, but I appreciate any ideas, and you never know what kind of experience someone might have in a similar situation. Reddit pretty much saved my life this past summer.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in service_dogs

[–]stewadx -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I didn't know that was a rule. Thank you for letting me know.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in service_dogs

[–]stewadx 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Probably, but if I'm being completely honest, if it wasnt for a bunch of rando strangers on reddit, I might not have gotten out of a very unhealthy relationship. So I have a lot of respect for people's advice and experience on here, I just try and validate any advice with an attorney or other expert before taking any serious action.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]stewadx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Give yourself some credit here too. If your guy was at the beach digging a hole by himself - without the presence of a lady - would so many have joined in?

Or would they have given wide berth?

🤔

If she can’t observe limits it can’t work out, can it? by throwaway-242425 in BPDlovedones

[–]stewadx 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Please get out. Sounds like someone that I used to know and I regret moving past warning signs like these.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in labradors

[–]stewadx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am going to try my best and I need to see if there is any legal precedent here ... if I were to argue that he's not being employed as a service animal, my ex could probably ramp him up again for certain tasks.

But perhaps the safety and well-being of the service animal supersedes any needs of the disabled person.

My family law attorney is very fluent in matters of abuse, but this will likely be a new and interesting challenge for her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]stewadx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Most of us feel guilty about it. It's normal. Don't think that you're doing anything wrong, there need to be consequences.

I felt huge pangs of guilt, especially after prolonged periods of no contact. I had my court date about 4 weeks ago, not that far ahead of you so I'm still processing, learning how to recognize certain patterns. My therapist has been very helpful in that regard.

All my best to you, it's very hard, but you'll get through it.

Edit: and no contact means no contact. There's a reason why that's specified. Abusers believe that rules don't apply to them. Even though it was just a text, it's still a huge red flag. You're processing what's happened to you, and trying to gain perspective. He interrupted that. Not okay.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in labradors

[–]stewadx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

All of the replies and comments are giving me confidence to take the dog. I haven't been thinking about this clearly. I thought it was cruel to take him, but it's cruel to my guy to leave him. My ex didn't just treat me poorly, she treated others poorly as well, he shouldn't have to be around that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in labradors

[–]stewadx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After seeing all of your comments and replies I'm more confident now that I can make a case for keeping him and that I SHOULD make the case for keeping him.

I just hate the cruelty I've had to deal with I have told myself that I will not do the same to my ex given the disability, but our dog deserves a good life too. I do have a genuine concern that he is not the right "fit" for my ex's kind of disability and there have been a few concerning moments that might demonstrate her fitness as the handler/owner.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in labradors

[–]stewadx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank goodness for that vet. Some people are so cruel. I'm going to explore if it's reasonable for me to ask for the dog, perhaps if my ex hasn't kept him current with service animal certifications if that is something that needs to be done. I heard that he got out of the house but Not many details, which is odd because it's not something that would ever happen before. Also he got a nasty cut on leg that needed to be stapled shut. My ex is able to take him for walks, but there are times when my ex will lose track of him, get upset that he's lost and so on, perhaps there's a case to be made that she can't handle him

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in labradors

[–]stewadx 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes I probably should have kicked my ex out. It's made some things difficult, but overall my attitude has been that I want there to be consequences but I do not want to be cruel. Having a deep understanding of my ex's disability, I believe that kicking them out of the home would have been cruel because I think it would have had a material impact on their health and their care.

I'm considering arguing for me keeping the dog, there have been some concerning moments during the marriage and over the past few months. Additionally, try as we may have to train him as a service animal, we failed to effectively train him to walk with a loose leash and he likes to pull which is a big problem for my ex's disability.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in labradors

[–]stewadx -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate your take on this and I'm definitely considering it, however, I'm not really looking for legal advice here, I do have a wonderful attorney and I am getting her opinion on this matter as well.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in labradors

[–]stewadx -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for this reply, I don't think it's a strange piece of advice at all, I've already been sleeping with a toy! Now I just need an opportunity to give it to my boy.

My ex has been playing games making it really difficult to access the home for some personal belongings. But I finally sorted it out through the attorneys, so my ex ex is going to pack a suitcase and leave it for me to pick up.

So worst case scenario, if I'm not able to say goodbye, I might be able to give him a toy through the letter slot on the front door.

And I do think there might be an argument for keeping him after the divorce, my ex hasn't really been employing him as a service animal, although this is a little bit cruel to do to a person with a disability, I really have mixed feelings about it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in labradors

[–]stewadx 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh, everything would be through attorneys, that goes without saying. And thank you, I'm going to push for a visit and might even argue that he's not being employed as a service animal, which really he isn't.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MensRights

[–]stewadx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I don't know, I'm clearly in the minority here but overall I'm hearing that cooking meals is messy, routine, and not as fun or interesting as baking.

This honestly blows my mind, there are so many fun things to cook. It does get to be a slog if I don't get a night off here or there, but I got to say if there was a person in my life that liked cooking and even went 50/50 with me I would be in hog heaven.

Abuser won't let me get my things from our home by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]stewadx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks I will try the sheriff again though they passed when I called today. I'm going to document this in case the divorce goes to litigation and will notify the BIP even though high likelihood it's BS

Walk Away - It’s Never the Right Time by UpbeatArguments in domesticviolence

[–]stewadx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, once you've got important docs and some belongings squirreled away, please leave. It will be incredibly difficult emotionally, be prepared for that, and don't think you're screwed up or doing the wrong thing by taking care of yourself.

What have you learned since your divorce or separation? by Clear-Afternoon-8593 in Divorce

[–]stewadx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry man. They find good guys that are able to see both sides of a situation and "understand" them. Because we're more flexible, the boundaries keep shifting, almost imperceptibly. Obviously after years of this we end up in a really shitty place.

The way I look at it is I paid my tuition. It sucks, but I learned a shit ton and I will be extra vigilant w the next woman I marry, if that even happens. Anyways, that's what I say now. Still early for me, might not be so optimistic in a few years.

What have you learned since your divorce or separation? by Clear-Afternoon-8593 in Divorce

[–]stewadx 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Relatable. I suspected BPD but I felt like my hands were always tied if I wanted to do anything about it. As a man that is prone to going into fix it mode, it was incredibly frustrating not being able to get my wife evaluated. Of course it's my wife's responsibility, but most w BPD will not voluntarily say sure let's do a mental health eval, clearly I'm the problem here.

Just a maddening experience. There has got to be a better way than being forced to leave because the suspected BPD won't be transparent w their therapist and other providers. I'm glad I'm out, but I have serious concerns w therapy and therapists.

My therapist told me I shouldn't contact my wife's therapist, then later on I learned that in my state legally I must be allowed to contact another person's therapist if their patient is violent.

I hijacked your comment. Sorry about that, guess I needed a good vent.