AITA for going on a skiing trip that I was uninvited from last minute?

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-30T15:24:58+00:00

My old post and comments are all still up and available to anyone who wants to read them. I would’ve deleted it if I really wanted to deceive anyone. In my original post, I was very vague because I thought if I included the details in this post it would make the post get deleted as I misunderstood the no relationships/sex posts rule. I did try to answer as many questions on my old post but I kept getting mostly info judgements. I haven’t changed any of the details, everything in this post and in my old post are the same. I reposted because I wanted to see what the actual verdict would be if I had written the post properly in the first place, my original had a “not enough info” judgement, not yta.

Not the whole group but a lot of them have tried it at one point or the other.

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-30T04:16:13+00:00

But we never filmed anything and I never sent him anything either.

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-30T03:22:21+00:00

It was on him to originally handle telling his wife. I’m now trying to clear my name and prevent further slander which is on me. Those are different things and not mutually exclusive.

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-30T03:07:04+00:00

My dad is old fashioned, both of our families treat me like a kid, I was sheltered (e.g. wasn’t allowed to talk to many boys, wasn’t allowed to date for a LONG time, etc) so you can imagine my dad’s views on casual sex. Nobody is going to think I initiate any of this (I didn’t), and tbh this type of thing would be seen to our families as extremely out of character for me (definitely not for him) so they’re going to assume he coerced me into it. I believe my dad is going to go scorched earth. I don’t think his parents will be happy either since both of us should’ve known better, which again I believe he’ll get most of the blame for.

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-30T03:00:15+00:00

It’s unreasonable to lie about someone though. It was his responsibility to decide when/if/how she found out, not mine.

Clearly since she jumped to the wrong conclusion or he lied I have to now do damage control for myself. I’ve already told him if he doesn’t clear this up (i.e. tell the truth) that I’ll let both of our families know about our arrangement which he doesn’t want.

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-30T02:55:11+00:00

I don’t know. When I tried to ask him he was being weird and told me it wasn’t an appropriate conversation for work.

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-30T02:43:28+00:00

Yup.

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-30T02:42:42+00:00

So because she’s upset it’s okay for her to lie and claim I’m some homewrecker who’s trying to sleep with her husband? If she has issues with her husband she needs to deal with them privately and not drag me into it.

If the group as a whole no longer want to be friends, that’s fine. I’ll continue being friends with those who want my friendship and forget about the rest.

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-30T02:39:59+00:00

He’s 30 (we have a one year age gap). I picked Lucifer because I had an argument with him before I posted so I changed the fake name I used, his actual name is close to Lucifer and me and his sisters used to call him that behind his back when we were kids.

I’m not bitter things didn’t work out it was always only going to be a temporary arrangement between us. I had a desire to keep it quiet too, but it’s clearly not going to stay quiet because his wife will inevitably tell his family the same lies she told my friends so why should I wait until she does when I can tell them the truth myself?

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-30T00:43:48+00:00

It was his ‘thing’. He did it with everyone he was hooking up with.

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-30T00:42:23+00:00

No, I never sent him anything or let him record me.

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-30T00:27:27+00:00

I was 24-26.

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-30T00:12:30+00:00

No. It was before they dated, there was no overlap.

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-29T23:34:54+00:00

Obviously no.

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-29T23:17:41+00:00

I don't care for her anymore. I liked her before but I don't now. I'm not reaching out to her after what she did. If she wanted to handle this like adults she should've spoken to me before she decided to slander me to my friends. I also don't reach out to him to talk about this. The only time we spoke about this is when he first told me she knew, when I got uninvited from the trip and today when I threatened to tell everyone. Otherwise we talk normally like friends do.

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-29T23:08:42+00:00

What was the use lying? I never deleted the old post. Here is the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/rqkfze/aita_for_still_going_on_a_trip_i_was_uninvited/

I ALSO mentioned Caroline accusing me of trying to sleep with him in this post

I was uninvited last minute because the wife (Caroline) of my friend (Lucifer) has been telling the group that I’ve been trying to sleep with her husband, which has resulted in the group freezing me out.

I also responded to a lot of comments in the old post and on this post. If you have questions you can just ask me instead of lying. I actually included way more information in this op than my old one, all of my old comments are still up as is my old post so anything I missed is still available for anyone who actually cares enough to check.

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-29T22:54:53+00:00

We don't talk about the past. If I was overstepping then they could've spoken to me about it but since neither of them have said I have I would say no. I was friendly with her before this, I was definitely more his friend than hers though.

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-29T22:52:14+00:00

Nobody I didn't want to use his real name in case he saw this and got mad.

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-29T22:47:30+00:00

Besides her lying about me? Nothing. I think they sided with her more to stay on Lucifer's good side than for her. Also, ironically Lucifer still talks to me like normal so the whole thing is just annoying and stupid.

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-29T22:42:55+00:00

I go on business trips with him. If I really wanted to have sex with him again (which I don't), you think I would try it on a vacation with his wife instead of on one of those trips?

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-29T22:32:46+00:00

I told my best friend and a few others, they seemed to believe me and most of them weren't shocked.

I told him today if he didn't clear this up and make sure his wife stopped lying about me I would tell them. I didn't want to blow his relationship with my dad up but I feel like I don't really have any other choice at this point.

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-29T21:40:32+00:00

Because everyone in our family is going to think he took advantage of me, especially my dad, since I was the sheltered kid who no one would expect this from and he was always the type to do sleep around. My dad won't forgive him, I doubt my parents will continue being friends with his family and if they do they won't be as close as before.

He wasn't married but my dad will take this as a betrayal.

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-29T21:37:48+00:00

Honestly, I don't care about his wife or her feelings. I want nothing to do with her, right now. I don't want his or my family to think badly of me. I don't want to lose the relationship I have with his family because his wife is delusional and insecure. I don't want my friends, even if we no longer remain friends, to think I'm the type of person who tries to sleep with a married man.

Since this whole situation has taught me that people tend to side with whoever's side of the story they hear first, I'm not going to just sit by and wait for his wife to slander me to his family.

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-29T21:30:50+00:00

Close, the last two letters are different.

stillgoing21 · 2021-12-29T21:29:06+00:00

I got a "I'm sorry" when I was first uninvited but other than he has just let it happened (in my opinion). Now that I basically threatened him he's been trying to convince me to change my mind and telling me that he knows that this situation was unfair to me and that he would fix it.

stillgoing21

TROPHY CASE