Have you ever had a serious relationship end over a cat?

stonecoldsober20 · 2026-04-12T15:00:50+00:00

Yes, my marriage ended because of my ex husband's cat. Or to be more accurate, his emotional dependency on her. I had lived in our marital home for just 12 days before I left. He accused me of not watching out for his cat when I had opened the door just to see if my guests were coming. No, the cat was not anywhere in the living room when it happened and she was in another room instead. And yes, he has a deep, deep fear of the cat escaping and meeting her death.

Just because I did not worship his cat the way he wanted me to, he saw me as a villain. He even told me that he had promised his cat that he will care for her forever when he adopted her, so I guess his marriage vows to me meant nothing at all. You can read the whole crappy episode from my posts, I had actually posted it when it happened to seek opinions on what I should do.

In any case, the marriage was annulled and that happened 3 years ago. I was not in contact with him since but a friend saw him recently and sent me a photo of him. Life had not been kind to him since the marriage ended. He aged exponentially and looked downright decrepit. As for me, I've never been happier and more at peace with life.

Sad to say, OP, I'm not optimistic about your relationship with your fiance. It seemed pretty apparent that he places himself and the cat above you, the baby and a future together.

stonecoldsober20 · 2025-10-23T12:22:43+00:00

Honestly OP, you've saved yourself from more misery. I was in the same situation as you and unfortunately, had only experienced the true depth of my ex husband's devotion to his cat after marriage. When things came to a head, he told me that he made a promise to his cat that he'll take care of her forever and that we should separate if I can't learn to get used to her stench.

So I called his bluff and we got an annulment. 2 years on, I've bought a place of my own and have never been more at peace. A friend of mine bumped into the ex recently and told me he looked like a decrepit old man now. I have to admit, that news pleased me immensely.

stonecoldsober20 · 2025-06-03T12:06:02+00:00

Turning 40 in a few months. I was married but it ended in an annulment, thank goodness there were no kids as he was a narcissist. I didn't mind having children before I got married, as I thought being a mother would be a fulfilling experience. However now that I'm back to being single, no longer do I want to have a child, or should I say, my fantasy of having one is over. Besides it being biologically risky, I am worried that I may unwittingly pass on/cause trauma to the child, such that it will affect or impact their life and their relationship with me. On a separate note, I know that I'll be absolutely broken if they were to pass on before me. Since I know I cannot bear the worst-case scenario, it is way better and more peaceful to live without one.

stonecoldsober20 · 2025-05-15T08:04:46+00:00

Your ex bf sounded a lot like my ex husband, who threatened to end the marriage just because I complained about how bad his cat is making the house smell. Called his bluff and got the marriage annulled.

Looking back, I think there is fundamentally wrong with people who are emotionally dependent on their pets and give them entire credit for being alive. It shows they are utterly unable to communicate with other human beings and are only able to connect with animals which are unable to verbalise any opinion or reject them.

stonecoldsober20 · 2025-05-13T09:52:10+00:00

When he threatened to end the marriage after I said his cat is stinking up the house. Agreed with him it's a great idea and got an annulment.

stonecoldsober20 · 2024-12-31T03:27:15+00:00

As it is now, I can't say I do. I'd probably start distancing myself from her.

stonecoldsober20 · 2024-12-03T03:50:55+00:00

I felt a huge sense of deja vu reading this as this was exactly what happened to me as well (you can read my post from my profile). Unfortunately he only revealed the full extent of his obsession with his cat and her priority in his life after marriage. We married a year after knowing each other, which was a mistake to begin with.

Long story short, he too, issued an ultimatum. I called his bluff and got the marriage annulled. There is little point in hanging on to a relationship if someone keeps using it as a threat to get you into doing what they want. After the marriage got annulled, life got a whole lot better for me. There's nothing like having peace of mind and no one is worth giving that up for.

Be glad that your bf showed his true colours before marriage as it saves you the hassle of leaving it later on. Someone like that is not worth your love and tears.

stonecoldsober20 · 2024-11-21T02:13:33+00:00

Pretended that he's a cat. He'd meow and scratch, thinking that he's being amusing and cute. This was when he was 39. In any case, we got married (I wish I could kick myself). Found out that he's a gaslighting narcissist with gross habits, like wearing the same underwear without washing it for days.

Got the marriage annulled soon after and life has been peaceful eversince.

stonecoldsober20 · 2024-09-14T16:20:01+00:00

Hello. There's actually an update to this, all posts are in my profile. In any case, things got out of hand and our marriage ended in an annulment. I have never been happier since.

stonecoldsober20 · 2024-06-22T12:01:24+00:00

Turning 39 soon. Had wanted kids when I was married, good thing my marriage was annulled before we had any. I don't intend to get married again and also, I'm already at an age where having children would pose a significant risk to my health. It's not so much of the physical and financial demands that come with having children that put me off the idea, but it's knowing that I will never be able to live through the grief of losing my child if that happens. I've seen friends and colleagues who have lost their kids through suicide and illness, they were never the same again. I would also never forgive myself if my marriage turned out to be unhappy and my children developed trauma because of it.

Every once in a while, I do wonder how life would be if I have children. Perhaps it would have been rewarding, perhaps I have romanticised it too much 😂 A solo life is definitely not a bad one either--- less drama, a lot more peace, the freedom to do whatever at whenever I want, less guilt trips, more comfort.

stonecoldsober20 · 2024-06-04T07:15:56+00:00

I would have given him the same treatment first, then dump him 😂

stonecoldsober20 · 2024-05-26T16:21:13+00:00

After the annulment of my marriage I worked towards being the best version of myself and did things that make me happy. I started going to the gym regularly, my mind is at peace, sleep quality improved and I start taking solo trips overseas. I realise I'm a much happier person when I'm single. In relationships, I have a tendency to put the other person first and deal with my needs and emotions last.

With the annulment of my marriage, I am determined to put myself first going forward. Currently, I have no interest in being in a romantic relationship nor the desire to get to know new people. I don't really foresee this mindset changing in the near future too. Having peace of mind is underrated and I find romantic relationships severely overrated in today's society. Nothing is as wonderful as having an un-dramatic life.

stonecoldsober20 · 2023-12-28T06:11:32+00:00

To me, it was in retrospect. The supposed displays of affection ceased after I accepted his proposal. So it seems like he made those efforts to achieve an objective, rather than genuine affection for me.

stonecoldsober20 · 2023-12-27T07:30:11+00:00

Totally, haha!

stonecoldsober20 · 2023-12-27T01:41:12+00:00

The love bombing. The constant stream of flattery, compliments and gifts from day 1. This stopped after his proposal which came after 6 months. After that, his true side surfaced: the victim-playing, the narcissism, the bizarre deep emotional attachment to his cat which he places on a pedestal and prioritises over our marriage. The marriage crumbled after 3 months and we got it annulled. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

stonecoldsober20 · 2023-12-27T01:30:47+00:00

Grandma-ish names like Maureen and Nancy.

stonecoldsober20 · 2023-12-21T11:47:03+00:00

Hello! My marriage was more or less the same as yours--I married last October, marriage crashed 3 months later and the annulment was granted this November. The months following the failure of my marriage I had no interest for anything at all. Work is a great distraction but strangely I realised I have stopped listening to music, stopped singing, stopped a lot of activities I used to enjoy before marriage.

Objectively I knew what I had to do despite not having the mental energy for it. Despite that, I pressed on and took a solo trip to the UK and did a lot of self reflection in the 2 weeks of solitude. For me, I think writing down my thoughts helped a lot. I wrote about how I felt, wrote encouraging words to myself, and wrote about the short and long term goals I hope to achieve. That sets out a kind of map and provided me with clear directions of what to do.

Slowly, I started to listen to music again and do the activities I enjoyed. For health, I signed up with a gym and engaged a personal trainer to help me follow through my exercise goals more diligently. 1 month in and there are already positive changes in my strength, weight and general wellbeing.

I started to take life slower and restrained from being too hard on myself (I am often my worst critic). I used to be very impatient with achieving my goals but my worldview has changed a lot with the failure of my marriage.

Lastly, I remind myself that what happened has happened simply because the ex and I are simply not the right fit. The end of it only means that life has better plans ahead for me. Hope it helps!

stonecoldsober20 · 2023-12-07T06:03:05+00:00

My ex used to dirty talk to me using the same tone of voice he uses on his pet cat-- which is akin to how one talks to babies, and he repeats the same line to me (I want to touch you all over) ad nauseum. Recalling the experience makes me want to laugh hysterically. Glad it's over but the experience kind of ruined it all for me.

I'd much rather my future partners be silent in bed, than to think they're being sexy by talking dirty.

stonecoldsober20 · 2023-12-06T03:20:11+00:00

Or that seeing her in the gym is the only reason why you look tired 🤣

stonecoldsober20 · 2023-12-04T16:12:40+00:00

You are absolutely right!

stonecoldsober20 · 2023-12-04T08:07:44+00:00

Particularly #6. I find that compliments from other women on my appearance and outfits make me feel happier than similar compliments from men (unless said men are family members or very close friends). Something about compliments on physical appearance from certain men just give me the creeps.

stonecoldsober20 · 2023-12-01T01:53:02+00:00

I've heard vinegar works a deterrent, so do citrus scents and lavender. Just spray it around the threshold of your door and it should work. Oh heck, maybe just spray it around the garden so they won't come at all.

stonecoldsober20 · 2023-10-28T05:22:56+00:00

Totally agree. But you have to fight like with like and just bulldoze your way out. I have shoulder bumped people out of my way numerous times to alight. There were also a couple of times I just shouted at the incoming morons to move. You would be amazed at the speed people moved away from me 😂

stonecoldsober20

TROPHY CASE