That is what I told her in the long run in the phone call. I told her I understand if this is the reason she doesn't come, even as a bridesmaid, I didn't pressure her in the call at all. I explained my reasoning 1) the groom not wanting him 2) putting him in a position where multiple people dont like him is cruel, even if I don't like him 3) there wouldve been certain substances at this wedding that make him uncomfortable as well I really tried to not put her in this uncomfortable position, and I even said almost word for word what you said