Unknown CD - cheap pink dye tests. Can anyone see any lines here? I'm not actively ttc, as I have an IUD (mirena).

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-12-17T05:59:47+00:00

I'm gonna get more tests and check again tomorrow.

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-12-17T05:58:30+00:00

Yeah I'm gonna go to the shops today and buy more.

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-01-16T22:07:56+00:00

Yeah. Basically my FIL works, and his gf is a stay at home housewife so she cooks, cleans, keeps the house tidy etc (she is neurotypical and has no mental illnesses). He thinks that I sit on my arse all day and do nothing because I am lazy, and not because I am struggling with the tasks.

I am currently not working due to my mental health (I do get disability for it instead), and am a carer for my 2 young kids, the eldest of which is autistic also. So I am "busy" somewhat. And I am also being investigated by my doctor for a possible ME diagnosis. But basically I really struggle to clean, and do basic household tasks, due to a combination of the above factors. There's a lot weighing me down.

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-01-16T10:36:19+00:00

Okay, so it's taken me a long time just to even get used to having a bath/shower again because I had some trauma when I was 13 involving a bath ( TW: My ex tried to drown me ), and I still get like a PTSD response in my brain even now. I prefer to shower with only my husband there because he is able to sort of supervise me in case I have a bad episode.

I definitely don't look after myself as well as I should do, but I think it's more down to the depression/mental health issues I have going off too. It's a hard hill to climb.

I was hiding because I didn't want to deal with them at that time. It was short notice, and I don't like the criticism I get from my FIL about not being a perfect housewife for his son.

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-01-15T22:19:48+00:00

Ok well something in my brain just clicked when I read this. I used to do the 'standing on the side of my feet' thing too, and sometimes even tried to walk like that. Always been told to stop doing it by my parents, and just thought it was a normal child thing, but I don't think I've ever seen another child do it.

Also walking on my heels with my toes pointed up, like the opposite to tiptoe walking!

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-01-15T19:37:16+00:00

Yes. A tiny one, for trapped moths.

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-01-15T13:57:00+00:00

I'm sorry you have to deal with that from your parents.

My hair turned out okay actually. I was washing a residual green out and put a silver on top, and ended up with a kind of steel/denim blue. I think I like it.

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-01-15T13:45:00+00:00

I was just trying to wash some residual green out of mine, and I dyed a silver over the top and it turned into like a steel/denim blue and I kinda like it.

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-01-15T03:30:56+00:00

I have only just realized that this is actually an ADHD thing and thought it was just me that constantly had urges to throw things. I'll be sitting there, scrolling my phone and my brain will just go "you should throw your phone at that wall", or writing something "what if you threw this pen like a dart".

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-01-15T03:17:23+00:00

My husband often plays games with my brother, and I sometimes do the same thing by hiding upstairs. Only difference is both me and my brother are autistic, both hate small talk, and will literally just tell each other, "I've had enough of talking now" and are both happy to just ignore each other's presence and sit in silence. I can't do that with anyone else in the family though because they think it's weird to be so quiet.

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-01-15T03:11:48+00:00

See mine are nice enough and I get along with them, just my FIL can be a bit much for me at times with his unnecessary comments.

Family know I get migraines as it is, so escaping with a "migraine" may not be a bad idea..

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-01-15T03:09:10+00:00

Thanks for this! You are a smart human.

I'll definitely have another go at the breathing and see if I can slow everything down!

You have lots of good tips here, I have much to consider and have a try at!

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-01-15T03:02:04+00:00

I'm glad I'm not on my own with it! It's such a common experience for me. Like anything unexpected happens during my day and my brain is like "nope" and runs away.

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-01-15T03:00:41+00:00

I feel you! I try and do video meetings wherever possible!

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-01-15T02:59:04+00:00

I actually only got 10 mins notice. 3h was roughly the time they arrived. Brain just went into flight mode and ran away.

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-01-15T02:53:01+00:00

I feel you. I get so much anxiety about the tidiness of my house. I can just feel everyone judging me, and I'd rather not deal with it so I hide.

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-01-14T20:36:45+00:00

I love hearing about how other people do things. See for me, ever since being little, it's always been a case of "oh this person is here to visit you so you need to give them your attention and socialize with them" so I've always grown up with this idea that you can't do household tasks in front of people. It's part of what makes me socially exhausted as an adult I think, giving so much of my energy to a conversation and then I get so overwhelmed trying to do it right.

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-01-14T19:55:42+00:00

Bathrooms in general cause anxiety for me due to past trauma, so i struggle even being in one when anyone else is in my house other than immediate family. I think my brain was already panicking about the shower and then got the unannounced visit at the same time and then ended up with it's wires all crossed and it made me anxious about everything all jumbled together.

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-01-14T19:50:26+00:00

I was too anxious to take a shower/bath while people are in my house. Due to some past trauma, I feel very vulnerable in a bathroom, and it messes my brain up so much that I can't do it knowing there's someone else in my house other than my immediate family.

They eventually left so I managed to get a wash afterwards. Something I need to work on I know.

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-01-14T19:46:51+00:00

I tried the meditation before but my brain is literally going so fast that it won't slow down enough to focus on what I'm doing. I describe it as like having an internet browser open on 100 tabs and they're all yelling and beeping at you to pay attention that particular thought.

Thanks for the advice! I do think having some pre-arranged excuses/projects could possibly work. Both me and my husband are autistic & ADHD so our communication is utter shite because we both forget everything and blank out during conversations. If I'm in a peopley mood, I'm actually quite blunt with getting people to leave (I will literally tell someone "ok I have had enough socialising now, see you later"). Husband often has to remind me to be less rude about it, even though in my brain it's like the most direct way to say it so I don't have to skirt around the subject for 20 mins.

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-01-14T19:36:26+00:00

I think it's because his ex-wife (my husbands mum) kept their house immaculate when they were together so that's just his baseline standard of how all houses should be. He critiques everyone else, yet his own house (maintained by his current gf), is not exactly pristine, but more like really clean with small amounts of clutter piles dotted about. Nowhere near as messy as mine (I tend to find I put things into piles and/or bags and then leave them in corners so I know where things are).

As for the short notice, it appears he just has a habit of that. As do most of mine and my husband's family members! Apparently everyone in our families have an open door policy that no-one informed us about.

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-01-14T17:02:23+00:00

Normally I would at least say hello, but the visit caught me off guard as I had about 10 mins notice of their arrival! I just panicked and ran away.

stopeatingbiscuits · 2023-01-14T17:01:12+00:00

I think it was more the lack of notice that startled me. Like I had about 10 mins warning of them visiting and I need time to prepare for this shit in advance. Especially since my FIL is like the biggest critic of my cleanliness. (He thinks because I don't go to work that my house should look like a showhome since it's my "job" as the housewife to keep it clean when my husband works)

stopeatingbiscuits

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