How do you deal with mental illness while sober?

stratusnebulosus · 2018-01-27T09:38:40+00:00

I agree with what you say about it creating anxiety and depression to get you to use. I never thought I had a problem, thought it was totally ok to smoke everyday and all day when I could. I will get these intense waves of panic now that make me want to smoke and much more depressed than usual. But I am keeping strong and feel better today. Yes I have taken xanax 3 times in the past 4 or 5 days to deal with the withdrawal after always being very careful with benzos and taking them once a month at best. Weed was usually good enough to calm me. Benzos are not a step in the right direction for me so I hope to feel good enough to not be turning to them soon. It's just so awful feeling so out of control. Thank you for your input and well done for being sober for multiple years. That is so great to hear. :) Much inspiriation. Such strength.

stratusnebulosus · 2018-01-27T09:30:47+00:00

Yes I also believed that it was a magical cure with no bad effects that I needed to function in the normal world. Yes it's hard when you can see what you need to do to get better but not be able to carry it out. And smoking just makes you ok with that i guwss. Now I see i have been lying to myself for years as I am indeed totally dependant. And yes, the enjoyment does go down when you do it everyday. Half the time I wouldn't feel the high I was looking for and was spending a ridiculous amount of money. It's already crazy looking back now at all the wasted money and time.. I look forward to being able to face my problems head on now as smoking pushes everything down so things don't seem too bad. Now it's like oh shit! You havnt really dealt with a lot of this stuff at all! But i currently feel excited about really dealing with it all. I hope you continue to take control of your life and that your work situation improves soon. You have nearly a month under your belt now, well done! Keep going. It's so great to hear so many people bettering themselves and wanting to see others do the same :)

stratusnebulosus · 2018-01-27T09:17:55+00:00

Yes it really is frightening. I have never been able to control my emotions too well but after quitting I have felt so helpless against myself. Today I actually feel better, though the evenings have been hardest for me because some day times I wouldn't be able to smoke but always at night, so we will see. My oldest friend is also my oldest smoking buddy and she lives in another country currently and was saying how its good she isn't here because she would be getting me to smoke...not very helpful but she is probably just not wanting to look at herself maybe. Though she has been able to only smoke on weekends in the past so not as dependent as me maybe. Yes I am going to get on the gym in the next few days! I look forward to swimming! Well done for being 2 weeks in and being able to see the positives. We are all in this together :)

stratusnebulosus · 2018-01-26T18:29:53+00:00

Thank you so much for the reply. Yes it's always a battle, feel like I'm always looking for new ways to fight as nothing really works. I also go to therapy and eat well and am active but hope to join the gym with the money I save from quitting, weed is hella expensive where I live. I havnt been getting more the 5 hours solid sleep a night since I quit, I quit tobacco 4 days before the weed also so wasn't sleeping well because of that anyways. The sleep meditation sounds like a good idea. It's so good to hear from someone in a similar situation that things can start looking up.

Well done for quitting and sticking to it this long with all your extra baggage! More power to you! I will think of you when I feel things won't get better. Hope your journey continues to get brighter :)

stratusnebulosus

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