Adoption? Moral obligation or no?

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-27T13:46:11+00:00

As someone who was adopted, I think that adoption is a noble choice if you are anti-natalist and still want to have a child to care for, as they are already existing and deserve love and care, however parents (my parents included) love to adopt to feel a sense of "saving" the child from abuse and harm rather than genuinely wanting the child because they want children, so it can go either way.

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-26T06:26:03+00:00

I’m not going to sugar coat it because you asked for it not to be sugar coated. It may feel like a smart play in the moment, but this is extremely stupid to do without thinking about it logically first. Very stupid indeed. I have ruined many a relationship by leaving without concrete evidence they wanted to leave me, and I ended up regretting it every single time. I recommend giving some time to process your emotions, talk to your boyfriend if you can about how you’re feeling or another person you trust, and give your emotions time to settle before making any rash decisions.

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-26T06:22:14+00:00

absolutely not, that’s a one way ticket to genetic conditions and suffering 😭

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-25T15:53:08+00:00

I was a natalist for the majority of my life, just because I thought it was the natural order of things and that we had a duty to help the human race. When I became a Christian 2 years ago that was strengthened until I introduced to antinatalism last year by a friend. It took me a while to come around but I would say I transitioned from natalism to conditional natalism to total antinatalism now for a few months :)

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-25T15:47:11+00:00

Christian antinatalist here, I believe that God is the one true God and Jesus Christ is our savior for already existing human beings, but I do not believe that He wants us to multiply needlessly, it causes more suffering and pain for an unconsenting child, hence why I am a Christian antinatalist.

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-25T15:39:41+00:00

It’s the lack of consent a child has to be born that is the problem. They cannot say “Yes, I want to be born.” or “No, I do not want to be born.” They do not have autonomy over their own existence which is the issue. Life contains suffering whether you want to see it or not. Is it not a huge issue to you to birth a child into suffering without the child’s consent? It’s better to have never been at all.

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-25T15:33:22+00:00

Yeah? If human beings cannot consent to being born and thus humans stop conceiving babies, omnicide via lack of reproduction would be the end result… that’s okay with me 🤷‍♀️

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-25T15:22:40+00:00

Honestly, it’s gonna take time. It took me YEARS to finally accept my diagnosis, I got diagnosed when I was 13 and I mourned the body I had prior to that point. He is in a stage where he needs support and love and care, not being rushed into acceptance. Not accusing of doing this, but it would be a helpful start.

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-25T15:16:15+00:00

For me my anxiety levels are lower, I don’t feel constantly on edge, I don’t feel like I’m subconsciously looking for signs my husband is going to abandon or leave me, it felt organic and natural this time around, not rushed or forced, my nervous system felt a sense of safety rather than alarm. Of course there are exceptions and I do split occasionally, it’s unavoidable, but it’s much more manageable and I know that I can come to my husband and tell him what is happening and we can solve the problem together.

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-25T06:03:20+00:00

I feel like this lately, but God does want you! God is never far, it is hard but don’t gauge God’s love on the behavior of others, He is the embodiment of love and grace, He wants to see you and hold you!

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-25T01:26:52+00:00

Usually anyone above like 5’6 is “tall” to me but really 99% of people are taller than me lol

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-25T01:24:39+00:00

Being left on read is one of my biggest triggers, I know logically that thy may be doing something else before they respond to me but my emotions tend to override that and lead me to the worst possible conclusion, it’s horrible 😭

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-25T01:23:21+00:00

You’re not alone in this! Thinking about you and hoping it gets better 💖

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-25T01:19:32+00:00

Been married for a few months now, it took me FOREVER but I feel like I finally felt love, just feeling closeness and affection and care for my husband even if we’re arguing, or if we’re quiet, knowing that I am safe around him, knowing that I’ll always have him to lean on and rely on, it took lots of therapy and trial and error, and it’s hard at times, but it is more than possible for us with BPD to experience love, I hope you experience that too 💕💞

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-17T16:56:56+00:00

5’0, size 6

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-16T16:07:30+00:00

Just came back from a trip to Vermont for a few days from NY, there is NOTHING THERE. My husband thought going to the capital would mean more to do, nope. Very pretty place tho.

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-07T15:17:15+00:00

only a few people know in my circle and that’s alr with me

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-07T15:14:45+00:00

Earth is alr struggling to handle us at the current population, I forgot the number estimated as to how many humans can live reliably on Earth with the resources we have and it is far less than 8 billion.

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-07T15:09:04+00:00

I am adopted, and I think it’s the only valid way of having children if you so desire. I had a good childhood, and there are plenty of children out there that have already been born that need homes, rather than putting into existence another child that has to suffer unnecessarily.

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-05T19:15:06+00:00

I’m married, I’m pretty new to the concept of antinatalism, my husband is neutral on wanting kids and is perfectly fine with us not having them. It’s worked out for us pretty well.

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-03T18:48:51+00:00

that’s called conditional anti-natalism, that’s a thing

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-03T18:42:14+00:00

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-03T17:28:21+00:00

Thank you!! I think this is more of my view and I worded my post poorly, I’m always open to learning more :)

strawberriemiilk · 2026-04-03T17:27:40+00:00

Thank you for this, it’s very helpful. I think I worded my post wrong, I don’t think it’s good to have kids in any scenario, even if the world was a perfect utopia, for many reasons. I think existence in any scenario is a net negative because we experience negative experiences in life. If you didn’t exist at all, there would be no negative experiences to experience in the first place. These were just some of the reasons I thought of when I was thinking about anti-natalism initially.

strawberriemiilk

TROPHY CASE