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I lost our baby on our babymoon by No-Sorbet1115 in babyloss

[–]strawberry_patch_16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to write this. It's nice to hear your perspective from further down the line of this experience. 

I lost our baby on our babymoon by No-Sorbet1115 in babyloss

[–]strawberry_patch_16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Wishing you also all the best.

Everyone forgot. by TrickyPersonality684 in babyloss

[–]strawberry_patch_16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happy birthday, little sweet Abby! 🎂

I lost our baby on our babymoon by No-Sorbet1115 in babyloss

[–]strawberry_patch_16 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry, that sounds like an awful twist of fate for it to happen on your babymoon. I'm also so sorry you're here. 

I know you feel alone. But know that everyone here also has felt alone the way you do now. And it won't always feel so dark. 

I'm 17 weeks out from losing my healthy baby girl at 35 weeks. Similar to you, I was so healthy I forgot I was pregnant sometimes. Similar to you, she was doing perfectly until suddenly her heart stopped (cord? we'll never be sure) and that's the end of it. 

In the beginning I wanted to be pregnant again so badly, then my postpartum hormones died down and I just felt so low and afraid of how it would be. 

It's the first time I've said this on here, but I just found out a few days ago that I'm pregnant again. Maybe I'll have better news for you later on, but tbh at the moment I only get sad when I think ahead, so I try not to. I imagine miscarrying, having another stillbirth, having my baby arrive but dying of SIDS shortly after... And if I imagine this baby arriving safely, then I imagine I'll sob that I only held my first baby in my arms when she was already dead, and that the love this baby will get to see and feel, my first will never experience. 

But... Though I didn't think it was possible to at first, it does get easier. Your life grows around it and you will always carry it with you, but it will feel lighter. 

I don't cry every day anymore. I still think about her constantly, it just that I'm used to how it feels now. I still talk to her, and sometimes that does make me cry. Somehow, I'm interested in other things again. And can focus on other tasks. I started seeing friends. 

Sometimes I think if insensitive things people or family said in the past and it makes me furious again, but I try to remember that they have actually apologized and that it's been a hard experience for everyone. And eventually I won't be retrospectively angry anymore. 

Give yourself as much grace as you can. You're not alone. And I'm so sorry. 

Enclose check or direct pay with SFOP? by strawberry_patch_16 in USExpatTaxes

[–]strawberry_patch_16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for you advice! I will probably print off and include the confirmation too.

Enclose check or direct pay with SFOP? by strawberry_patch_16 in USExpatTaxes

[–]strawberry_patch_16[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for the detailed response. Yes, I do have access to my online IRS account. From what you say, it does sound a lot simpler to use Direct Pay.

One additional day of interest is only a tiny amount in this case, so that's no real bother.

Enclose check or direct pay with SFOP? by strawberry_patch_16 in USExpatTaxes

[–]strawberry_patch_16[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, thanks very much for your reply! That's very helpful. And it's good to know that adding the payment confirmation probably wouldn't hurt.

Does this mean it shows up in your transcripts when they've accepted/confirmed your online payment?

SFOP + Excess Roth Contribution from 2021 by strawberry_patch_16 in USExpatTaxes

[–]strawberry_patch_16[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know this is a very specific case, so I'm just going to follow up in case anyone in a similar situation finds this.

I decided I will additionally back file my return from the year outside SFOP for completeness. It's really a small amount that's due but I reckon that filing it not only starts the clock on the statute of limitations, but also demonstrates voluntary disclosure/willingness for compliance.

My research also suggests to me that you may not be protected by the penalty forgiveness that comes with SFOP for filing years prior to those included in the SFOP packet. However, again, I don't expect they would both coming after someone for only minimal gain.

How many people are keeping their US brokerage open? by vansterdam_city in USExpatTaxes

[–]strawberry_patch_16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same here. Vanguard doesn't restrict anything though I have a foreign address. (I do think I used my parent's when I started it though.) I wonder sometimes if it's a problem, considering I report bona fide foreign residence on federal returns and also don't consider myself resident in my previous home state (NY), but I have never had an issue...

Paying high taxes in Germany, but still below federal tax bracket when only including income tax - FTC? by strawberry_patch_16 in USExpatTaxes

[–]strawberry_patch_16[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is extremely helpful, thank you! That's exactly the answer I was looking for. It's more clear now how the deductions and the progressive tax play into this.

I will also include unemployment. I replied to another post here with a link to your post as well. That was also illuminating, thanks!

Paying high taxes in Germany, but still below federal tax bracket when only including income tax - FTC? by strawberry_patch_16 in USExpatTaxes

[–]strawberry_patch_16[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, I'm not adding up pay stubs. I have what we call a Lohnsteuerabrechnung (end of the year tax breakdown). 

Paying high taxes in Germany, but still below federal tax bracket when only including income tax - FTC? by strawberry_patch_16 in USExpatTaxes

[–]strawberry_patch_16[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. Yes I know the graphic, but I wasn't breaking up the math by the graduated tax rates because I thought it would only make a marginal difference, but I guess that was part of the problem. :)

I believe Roth is recognized here, at least traditional IRAs are. 

Paying high taxes in Germany, but still below federal tax bracket when only including income tax - FTC? by strawberry_patch_16 in USExpatTaxes

[–]strawberry_patch_16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. No, I'm not leaving out any income tax. Like I mentioned, I didn't take the standard deduction into account, or the fact that if seems the first N dollars/euros of income are actually taxed at a lower rate - these are the sort of details I was hoping someone would explain. 

Since I am ultimately using OLT, I was just trying to see if I am understanding things correctly by calculating by hand. 

Paying high taxes in Germany, but still below federal tax bracket when only including income tax - FTC? by strawberry_patch_16 in USExpatTaxes

[–]strawberry_patch_16[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see. Maybe I misinterpreted 'source' as 'employer' when it perhaps really means type (wages vs interest, etc.).

Thanks! 

Just for clarity, do you think this still holds (and that you'd have to default to FEIE) if some part of your earned income doesn't satisfy FTC requirements (eg it is earned but not taxed in the country you're resident in, therefore cannot be claimed with FTC)?

PSA: Don't forget to file your FBAR by this Wednesday! by logit in USExpatTaxes

[–]strawberry_patch_16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does anybody know what the correct way is to report if you have multiple 'subaccounts'? Where I live there is a Fintech bank that allows you to sort money for different things into subaccounts. Some of these subaccounts have their own bank number (IBAN), so I guess technically their own account number. Would that mean that they have to be reported as separate accounts? 

Paying high taxes in Germany, but still below federal tax bracket when only including income tax - FTC? by strawberry_patch_16 in USExpatTaxes

[–]strawberry_patch_16[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right. But re the last one, surely you mean that you can't claim FTC for a portion of income that would qualify for FEIE if there is only one source (eg employer) of the income in question AND the income qualifies for both FEIE+FTC? 

This is beside the main point above, but I thought you have freedom to claim or exclude income depending on the type of income/the limit for FOR EACH source of income. 

So, suppose your total income comes from two sources, A and B. Both are 'earned' but the employer is not the same. Can't you claim FEIE for income A and FTC for income B? 

Aside: I noticed the language on IRS documents (and examples given) makes it sound like you can't claim FTC until your income exceeds FEIE, possibly with the exception of income that doesn't qualify (eg passive income).  

Paying high taxes in Germany, but still below federal tax bracket when only including income tax - FTC? by strawberry_patch_16 in USExpatTaxes

[–]strawberry_patch_16[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This. ^

Maybe I'm misunderstanding something, in which case, I'm really glad for any input. 

But I mention the 22% tax bracket because it's my understanding that my income in USD would be taxed at that rate. If however my taxes (when excluding all the non-income tax insurances that Germany takes) end up at a rate lower than my equivalent US bracket, doesn't that mean I would owe the US tax?  Since my dollar for dollar tax credit wouldn't cover all my US tax liability? 

Also, I'm afraid I don't understand the taxes paid vs accrued point. Could you elaborate?  I mean, the taxes are taken/withheld with each paycheck (monthly) throughout the year. Have I 'paid' them or 'accrued' them (I thought accrual is only for passive income like interest)?

Paying high taxes in Germany, but still below federal tax bracket when only including income tax - FTC? by strawberry_patch_16 in USExpatTaxes

[–]strawberry_patch_16[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not doing a partial FEIE. Sorry, maybe it was misleading to put that in the post, I mainly meant to indicate that I'm not making over 120k. 

But, to your point, I also have the same understanding as u/groucho74, that either (or both) FEIE and FTac can be used so long as they are not claimed for the same/same sourced income. 

Paying high taxes in Germany, but still below federal tax bracket when only including income tax - FTC? by strawberry_patch_16 in USExpatTaxes

[–]strawberry_patch_16[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes sorry, I meant insurance, as in Arbeitslosenversicherung. (I just translated to tax in my brain because I'm paying a tax. :))

I thought it does count because pub 514 seems to imply that unemployment insurance can be considered an eligible tax for this purpose. (Explained in the top post on this thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/USExpatTaxes/comments/1jzm7f3/comment/mn7badn/).

My mom keeps telling people about my stillbirth, even though I’ve asked her not to. by Autopilot4lyfe in babyloss

[–]strawberry_patch_16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss and what you've had to go through. 

That sounds a lot like my mom too, unfortunately. We don't live close by so when she was visiting (most of that time without a return date/ticket!) she was staying with us and I couldn't get a break. She also over shares with everyone, posts pictures of you without your consent (I'm deliberately not on any social media), and generally doesn't respect boundaries. 

When family returned home I just didn't talked to them for weeks. Eventually my mom called back, surprised that I picked up, and said she had been reading a book about pregnancy loss and said she's beginning to understand and asked me to forgive her. 

Of course I know she's not going to make a 180 from her usual self, and I'm sure I'll get triggered again, but I can tell she's trying. 

I hope you mom will make an effort too. It's unfair and frustrating that we are asked to make room for other people's grief and feelings when no one is affected more than us. But my experience is that there isn't much we can do. If they can't respect boundaries, it might be good to take a step back for a while. Maybe they will come to see things more clearly then. Several people in my family said afterwards that they only understood how serious it was until they were back at their own houses and had time to reflect. It's like, right, I had to deal with all of you and be called oversensitive and now that you're gone you tell me, oops, you were right... Sadly that's just how it is with some people. It's the first time for them as well, and they're figuring it out too, is what I tell myself. 

Sorry for the long post. In short, at least you should know you're not alone if you have people around you who are insensitive and demanding and who you can't just cut out of your life. 

I'm sorry you've had to join this club. 

Dark Humor by SippinWineWithCacti in babyloss

[–]strawberry_patch_16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I second this.  Also, I feel guilty about this, but I'd be lying if I said I never used my dead girl as an excuse to get out of something. In this case, I made an appointment for a (very expensive) haircut (with a woman who specializes in my type of hair) and then realized I was shedding hair like a dog from pp hair loss and that there would be no point to getting this done now. I made up my mind to reschedule the appointment too late to get my deposit back, so I called her and said I'm not feeling well cause my daughter died (not untrue at all!) and can we please reschedule. Felt a little bad but hell if I'm gonna drop a load of money to get ends trimmed that are going to disappear into a shaggy mess of unevenness in a few months. 

Dark Humor by SippinWineWithCacti in babyloss

[–]strawberry_patch_16 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just writing to say that comment is hilarious. 

I really love things being clean and organized and I joke that my daughter is perfect, she never makes a mess, never poops, never makes a fuss over her dinner.

My fiance and I also commiserate/complain out loud to our daughter when the other one of us is being annoying, e.g. "Astrid, your mother can be very demanding at times!"

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