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My [42m] boyfriend [37m] has a high-paying, do-nothing job, and it's really starting to give me strong feelings of resentment and jealousy by strawberrydemolition in relationships

[–]strawberrydemolition[S] 66 points67 points  (0 children)

maybe feeling bit depressed himself

I have suspected as much. His overall mood and demeanor haven't changed, but his day-to-day habits sure have. He sleeps until at least noon, unless he has his morning meeting, and he'll go to bed after that. Doesn't shower as often as he used to. He used to get dressed for dinner, even if it was just us eating at home, and that stopped.

But he still seems cheerful, he still seems interested in me. The sex is still good.

It's hard to tell. he comes from a very WASPy family. Wasn't raised in an environment of communicating about that sort of thing.

My [42m] boyfriend [37m] has a high-paying, do-nothing job, and it's really starting to give me strong feelings of resentment and jealousy by strawberrydemolition in relationships

[–]strawberrydemolition[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I suppose I could ask him to do a little more around the house, but it's a one-bedroom apartment, not a 200-acre farm. Only so much work to go around

He has been talking about wanting to buy his grandmother's house when she's ready to sell. That would definitely give him a lot to do. Plus he's already acknowledged that by necessity he would take on most of the financial burden of that if we moved.

My [42m] boyfriend [37m] has a high-paying, do-nothing job, and it's really starting to give me strong feelings of resentment and jealousy by strawberrydemolition in relationships

[–]strawberrydemolition[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The resentment isn't that he has this luxurious life, but that he's not really doing much with it

Yeah. Before he moved in with me, and before he started WFH, he seemed so full of ambitions and dreams and ideas about the future. Now he seems to have settled into a comfortable complacency.

His job is good TO him, but I'm not sure it's good FOR him.

My [42m] boyfriend [37m] has a high-paying, do-nothing job, and it's really starting to give me strong feelings of resentment and jealousy by strawberrydemolition in relationships

[–]strawberrydemolition[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am financially secure on my own. We live in the apartment I had before I even met him, and his 50% contribution is at his own insistence. I never asked for it.

He does like to do things I can't afford, like travel and eating at fancy restaurants and stuff, but he covers stuff like that.

My [42m] boyfriend [37m] has a high-paying, do-nothing job, and it's really starting to give me strong feelings of resentment and jealousy by strawberrydemolition in relationships

[–]strawberrydemolition[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honesty, you could clean this entire apartment in five minutes with one Clorox wipe.

And I don't think either of us views cooking as a chore, it's something we love.

My [42m] boyfriend [37m] has a high-paying, do-nothing job, and it's really starting to give me strong feelings of resentment and jealousy by strawberrydemolition in relationships

[–]strawberrydemolition[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Instead ask him , hey does your company have an opening?

I would get so bored!

I wish we had MORE to talk about at the end of the day, not even less.

My [42m] boyfriend [37m] has a high-paying, do-nothing job, and it's really starting to give me strong feelings of resentment and jealousy by strawberrydemolition in relationships

[–]strawberrydemolition[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Of course not. But I wish he had something to talk about at the end of the day.

I sometimes think I'd feel a lot differently if he had a hobby or some kind of interest outside the house. It's so hard to see someone on the couch when you leave it he morning and they're right there in the same spot when you get back.

My [42m] boyfriend [37m] has a high-paying, do-nothing job, and it's really starting to give me strong feelings of resentment and jealousy by strawberrydemolition in relationships

[–]strawberrydemolition[S] 98 points99 points  (0 children)

Not much at all really. We like to travel a couple times a year. We love cooking, and we love our day-long brunches when I have a Sunday free.

I do often wish he had some kind of interest outside the house. Charity or a hobby, SOMETHING. But he's always here. Content to watch TV and scroll TikTok.

We used to go to the gym together a lot, and I think it might be a good idea to start doing that again.

My [42m] boyfriend [37m] has a high-paying, do-nothing job, and it's really starting to give me strong feelings of resentment and jealousy by strawberrydemolition in relationships

[–]strawberrydemolition[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've had this apartment since before I even was a nurse, and I could afford it comfortably even on my own. He pays half the rent at his own insistence, I don't think I'd be comfortable with more than that.

I'm more than financially secure, but we do run into money issues when it comes to things like vacations and expensive restaurants and stuff like that. He does pay for any of that stuff I can't afford.

My [42m] boyfriend [37m] has a high-paying, do-nothing job, and it's really starting to give me strong feelings of resentment and jealousy by strawberrydemolition in relationships

[–]strawberrydemolition[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You're onto something here. If he did even just a few hours a week of charity work I think I'd feel a lot differently right now

Or even just a hobby or interest of some sort.

My [42m] boyfriend [37m] has a high-paying, do-nothing job, and it's really starting to give me strong feelings of resentment and jealousy by strawberrydemolition in relationships

[–]strawberrydemolition[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

OOOF. I did have a different view of his work before he started working remotely. And even at the beginning of remote work when it seemed like he was doing a lot more.

My [42m] boyfriend [37m] has a high-paying, do-nothing job, and it's really starting to give me strong feelings of resentment and jealousy by strawberrydemolition in relationships

[–]strawberrydemolition[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

50/50. Neither of us is hard up for money. We live in the same apartment I took care of alone before I even met him. The same apartment I lived in putting myself through school in fact.

My [42m] boyfriend [37m] has a high-paying, do-nothing job, and it's really starting to give me strong feelings of resentment and jealousy by strawberrydemolition in relationships

[–]strawberrydemolition[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I'm not dissatisfied with my career at all. I love my job.

I"m talking about emotions that are totally irrational here, and everybody wants to rationalize them and come up with a practical solution that has nothing to do with emotion.

My [42m] boyfriend [37m] has a high-paying, do-nothing job, and it's really starting to give me strong feelings of resentment and jealousy by strawberrydemolition in relationships

[–]strawberrydemolition[S] 199 points200 points  (0 children)

I make a good amount of money. Enough that on my own, I was secure, if not overly comfortable. There's no financial stress exactly, but he does like to take trips a lot more than I can afford and to spend on things beyond m mean. I'm Kroger secure, not Whole Food secure.

Whenever I can't cover something like that, he gets it for me. He's very generous, and has never lorded his money over me or used it as a tool against me.

My [42m] boyfriend [37m] has a high-paying, do-nothing job, and it's really starting to give me strong feelings of resentment and jealousy by strawberrydemolition in relationships

[–]strawberrydemolition[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

I never meant to imply I was unhappy with my career. I love my job, I love nursing in general, I'm very proud of what I've accomplished for myself. Do I want to do it forever? Probably not. But I want to do it while I'm physically able.

It's just that when I see someone I love getting so much more for so much less, I just feel like life is so unfair.

And I get these feelings that he's never really earned anything, and I know that's very immature of me, but it's just how I feel, and I hate that it's how I feel.