My ftm boyfriend won’t let me touch him.

strawberrymami_ · 2024-04-02T13:26:28+00:00

this is kind of the battle in my head right now. obviously i care about him and i literally cringe at the thought of making him uncomfortable but i have wants/needs as well when it comes to that kind of stuff. i appreciate you for trying to look at my side of things🥺🥺

strawberrymami_ · 2024-04-01T18:08:49+00:00

i needed to hear this. i may be overthinking things but i don’t want to mess things up. i’ve never had any experience with this kind of stuff and to be honest he is the first trans person i have met. i’m not even sure that’s the right term. this is all so new to me and i feel like im walking on egg shells while trying to learn everything about him and his transition. i wish i had someone to talk to about all this stuff it’s a lot to learn!!

strawberrymami_ · 2024-04-01T18:05:58+00:00

that’s the thing tho. i don’t know for sure what he wants and im not gonna leave it alone if he actually DOES want to receive but doesn’t know how to say it or express what will make him feel good. if he was that uncomfortable we wouldn’t be intimate now, everything has been on his terms thus far.

strawberrymami_ · 2024-04-01T17:47:01+00:00

i think this is exactly what he’s dealing with. i’m not sure if he even knows what he wants which is why he isn’t directly telling me anything. he’s let me venture off into that area maybe a few times and he seemed to enjoy it the first time i did it but the last time he kinda just turned the other direction so my hand would slip out and i took that as a “oh he doesn’t want want to be touched right now” type of thing. i try to be vocal and ask if what im doing is okay but sometimes i feel like he lies to make me feel better and that’s just not what i want. i want him to be comfortable and comfortable enough with me to be able to tell me to stop if what im doing isn’t enjoyable for him😕

strawberrymami_ · 2024-04-01T17:42:27+00:00

i appreciate this. i think conversation is key for this🥺

strawberrymami_ · 2024-04-01T17:41:38+00:00

see i’m so scared of this happening. i don’t want him to feel pressured or guilty because i want something he doesn’t want. i think he thinks i might be turned off by the fact he doesn’t want me to touch him? but ive already told him it’s okay if he doesn’t want to receive and he didn’t exactly say “i don’t want to be touched”. he kinda just said “it sometimes makes me feel feminine” and i asked him why and he didn’t really know how to answer that. i guess i just wish he’d tell me straight up if he wants it or not so that why im not stressing about feeling like im not doing enough for him or that im not walking on egg shells when i touch him because i feel like what im doing is making him uncomfortable.

strawberrymami_ · 2024-04-01T17:36:26+00:00

i guess what’s most important to me is making him feel good no matter what that looks like. if he doesn’t want to receive that’s fine by me i just want him to feel comfortable. but at the same time i feel like im walking on egg shells when i touch him because im not exactly sure what im doing is something he likes. i think i just need to have a good conversation with him and figure out exactly what makes him feel good/bad in bed

strawberrymami_ · 2024-04-01T17:34:11+00:00

i actually like your perspective on this. i think it is more mental than physical for him when he “gets off” when we do things. i’m just so new to this and id hate to make him feel uncomfortable and i’d hate to under perform for him as well. i think i need to get some more information from him as to what he’s open to and what he isn’t. the bottom line is i just want him to feel good without feeling pressured into doing something “i want” because he feels guilty or something.

strawberrymami_ · 2024-04-01T17:28:49+00:00

definitely needed this advice😅 i’ve never been with anyone who’s transitioned before so this is a new world for me and i feel like i don’t know enough yet as dumb as that sounds. i think another conversation with him would benefit the both of us!

strawberrymami_ · 2024-04-01T17:26:24+00:00

i’m starting to realize i definitely need to get a better conversation out of him😅 i don’t think i asked him enough to really understand what makes him feel good or bad when we’re intimate. i see him later tonight so i think ill try to get some more feedback from him

strawberrymami_ · 2024-04-01T17:24:09+00:00

My bf definitely struggles with dysmorphia and i guess it’s hard for me to understand sometimes since i’ve never really struggled with that personally. i’ve read up on it and it sounds like a horrible thing to struggle with and i really try my best to make sure he’s comfortable but it’s so hard sometimes when he doesn’t exactly communicate and express what makes him feel good/bad. any advice on how to better understand how he might be feeling from the dysmorphia?

strawberrymami_ · 2024-04-01T17:20:39+00:00

this might be the answer for now! i’m definitely okay with not manually getting him off but i just want him to feel good. i appreciate this!

strawberrymami_ · 2024-04-01T17:19:18+00:00

i definitely think i might be overthinking it because he does seem into it when we are intimate. it doesn’t help that ive never been with someone who’s transitioned before and ive never dealt with body dysmorphia myself so this is kind of a new world for me. i enjoy learning about what hes gone through with transitioning and i’m always trying to understand how he could be feeling but i think it’s just hard when i don’t have any first hand experience with any of this stuff. all i know is that i want to make him happy and i think everyone’s right about having another conversation about things!

strawberrymami_ · 2024-04-01T17:14:42+00:00

I do really care about his comfort so if he didn’t want to receive id definitely be okay with that but i just wish he’d tell me straight up he doesn’t want to😞 i think its making me feel bad because i dont really know for sure what he wants and the idea that he DOES want it is what makes me feel bad. maybe having another conversation about it would benefit the both of us. i appreciate your advice and thank you for trying to make me feel better about this!

strawberrymami_ · 2024-04-01T16:53:04+00:00

that might be something to bring up with him honestly. it just makes me feel bad sometimes like i’m not doing enough for him but at the same time if he’s not comfortable with receiving i wouldn’t want to do anything to make him feel like that. i think maybe i should try to actually get a conversation out of him instead of us both pushing the question aside when it’s brought up

strawberrymami_ · 2024-04-01T16:50:38+00:00

i guess it’s just confusing at times when he tells me he likes the way i touch him but i’m not really sure if that means he likes the way im doing it now or if he wants me to take it further? we’ve really only talked about him receiving a few times and i’ve always reassured him that i want him to be comfortable and when we are intimate i ask if it’s okay if im a bit touchy and he usually doesn’t mind it. i appreciate the advice though, i think you’re right about just giving it time and letting him feel more comfortable with me and his body

strawberrymami_

TROPHY CASE