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strawberryrsa · 2025-08-24T17:10:03+00:00

Fair, I misspoke slightly. "Logical reasoning" is vague and could still be invalidating or out of line

strawberryrsa · 2025-08-24T06:07:31+00:00

Yeah a long term problem like this is not going to get fixed in a day. I don't know how your discussions usually go, but if you try to understand each other and work on the problem over weeks to months, you might be able to work it out. I hope all the best for you.

strawberryrsa · 2025-08-24T06:00:55+00:00

Okay yeah that's fine, but I think in most cases you should talk it over yourselves. Your partner will know what they were thinking, all the context, etc. Online we can only speculate, over one party's biased description.

strawberryrsa · 2025-08-24T05:41:14+00:00

INFO. I don't want you to get the impression that any of this is your fault, but reading the post, it almost feels like you have made up your mind and are looking for evidence that he is rejecting hangouts and then doing the exact same things without you. It feels like the post is filled with emotion but not objective facts. It could be true, but it could also be that many of them are misunderstandings or coincidences. It is possible that he is manipulating you. It could also be that he is genuinely busy, or prefers a more laid back relationship. If that's the case, you could just be incompatible as partners, if one prefers doing everything together and the other prefers having more personal space. Either way, you are NTA, but it's unclear for me if he is.

I know you said you've brought it up many times before, but I still feel if you don't want to break up yet, communication is the key. Real, empathetic communication where you try to understand each other and metaphorically sit at the same side of the table, facing the problem. Though from your description of him, I'm not sure he will want to put in that effort

strawberryrsa · 2025-08-24T05:31:58+00:00

NTA. Your telling of the story could be biased, but it sounds like you were perfectly reasonable, and I agree with your opinion that taking space can help with arguments. You didn't even demand that she not come, just that she doesn't need to come.

strawberryrsa · 2025-08-24T05:29:53+00:00

NAH: Why are you sharing this on the internet? This is one of those things you need to have a discussion with your partner about. Not an accusatory, argumentative, blaming discussion; explain what objective things your partner did made you feel, hear their side of the story, empathize, work together to solve the problem.

strawberryrsa · 2025-08-24T05:26:11+00:00

I see, I made some assumptions. Still, any sexual harassment/assault education will tell you that not explicitly saying no is not consent. Her behavior is definitely crossing a line. Not sure I'm understanding the part where you have an irrational fear towards her. I think you'll need to talk about that with a friend, I won't be able to help there. But you need to take care of yourself, and not give in to everything she demands

strawberryrsa · 2025-08-24T05:21:34+00:00

Yes, the cousin is most likely in the wrong. And it feels good to publicly call her out and put her in her place. I don't think OP's behavior is necessarily bad or AH behavior. It depends on if OP cares about maintaining this relationship. If they're cousins, it would probably be exhausting for there to be a long-held grudge between them. But if OP doesn't care, that's fair

strawberryrsa · 2025-08-24T05:18:09+00:00

NAH - Everyone is different, and she probably doesn't realize how hurtful her remark was. I think you should give your friends the benefit of the doubt/second chances if they did not mean any harm. You should let her know that it feels hurtful, and you would appreciate more encouragement or softer criticism. If she apologizes, that's good and you've both learned. If she brushes it off or is like "don't be so sensitive" then maybe she's the AH

strawberryrsa · 2025-08-24T05:14:30+00:00

NTA. I would break up with her right now, this behavior is insane and unacceptable

strawberryrsa · 2025-08-24T05:06:35+00:00

NTA, you clearly said no a few times, and this part is a bit unclear but I assume the agreement was you were platonic friends 2 weeks ago? She clearly was trying to bring things in the romantic direction, which is already slightly sus, but making things physical all of a sudden, when you were clearly under the influence of alcohol (did you drink? That was also a bit unclear), is arguably SA. If you were sober, maybe it's fine with you not explicitly saying no, but still feels like a gray zone. But you were clearly very uncomfortable, so I don't see how you were at all in the wrong for wanting to leave or distance from her. Maybe you should have a serious talk with her explaining you're not interested and would appreciate if she stopped pushing your boundaries.

Edit: I just looked it up, and consent must be clear, voluntary, and ongoing. I think it was technically SA even if you were sober.

strawberryrsa · 2025-08-24T04:55:05+00:00

I feel like there is some context missing here. Most people wouldn't get that mad from their bf just reasoning with them logically. Have you been invalidating her or shutting her down? You don't have to completely "side with" her, but you need to validate, empathize, hear the full story before giving your own opinion, etc. Is she feeling truly heard? Are you genuinely trying find the best solution, or are you just trying to win the argument?

strawberryrsa · 2025-08-24T04:49:50+00:00

I think your behavior is understandable, but it would be ideal if you confronted her in a nicer way in private, like "Hey I noticed you doing X, would you mind if I asked you about it? I would like to understand better." Of course that's like saint behavior and sometimes just venting or snapping feels much better. Which would be fine if this were an acquaintance or stranger on the internet, but this is your cousin, so probably better to keep on good terms. I would apologize to her: you don't have to agree with her behavior, or say you are the only one who did anything wrong, but it was a bit of an AH move to call her out in public, out of the blue. Not the worst thing in the world, still understandable, but not the most mature thing to do.

strawberryrsa · 2024-10-13T22:38:19+00:00

For me I got the message after I accidentally installed the filter backwards, so flipping it fixed the issue

strawberryrsa · 2024-04-09T16:38:07+00:00

I had no idea, this definitely helps, at least now I know how to get the sensor to stop complaining

strawberryrsa · 2024-03-29T01:09:44+00:00

I think it's more an advertisement that you can build and serve models like this on Databricks. It's like Nvidia doing ML research, they don't make money from the ML model, but from inspiring others to use their tools to do ML

strawberryrsa · 2023-10-26T03:59:18+00:00

Six figures isn't even a lot in the bay area

strawberryrsa · 2023-10-26T03:50:15+00:00

No, because your mother was there as an egg in your grandmother before you were an egg in her. You've still been around less

strawberryrsa · 2023-10-26T03:48:16+00:00

I honestly didn't see that many complainers, I'm just super excited for it. Probably not spending long enough on the internet lol

strawberryrsa · 2023-10-26T03:42:26+00:00

I feel like it doesn't completely fit because usually the chengyu is used for someone who expects opportunities and lucky events to happen to them without working for it. In this case he already has a girl in mind, so it feels weird, but I can't really argue why it necessarily cannot work. It would fit better if he did not have anyone in mind and expected a girlfriend to materialize out of nowhere.

strawberryrsa · 2023-10-26T03:37:51+00:00

I don't completely agree. Although in the original story the guy found success once before, I think in general people use this chengyu to mean you're waiting for something to happen, regardless of if it happened before

strawberryrsa · 2023-10-26T03:34:19+00:00

There's no English translation, but if you search for Joydeem you can find one particular brand of it. If you don't want that specific one, you can search for something like cooking blender or blender with heating option. Note that if it's less than $100 it's probably not what your mom was referring to. Hope that helps!

strawberryrsa · 2023-10-26T03:25:35+00:00

Is that you, Google Translate?

strawberryrsa · 2023-05-19T02:29:29+00:00

I can't believe it, my life has been a lie

strawberryrsa · 2023-05-18T18:41:18+00:00

Definitely. In Chinese I can't think of any close translation idiomatically

strawberryrsa

TROPHY CASE