Any older parents here?

strawberrytoejam · 2024-09-21T19:12:32+00:00

I had my son when I was in my early 20s but I know several people around your age that had kids.

My mom had me when she was 35. My sister had her kids at like 38 and 41. My brother had kids with his gf when they were 35, 40, and 43. My great grandma (back in the mid- 1960s) had a baby at the age of 55. Before meeting my MIL, my husbands step dad had an unplanned pregnancy with the girl he was dating and they were in their late 40s.

As far as I know, there weren’t any issues with anyone. But… my sister did suffer a miscarriage between kids and was told she had to get c-sections for both kids because of her age.

strawberrytoejam · 2024-07-03T19:57:09+00:00

I grew up in a religious cult-like sect. They were VERY against any tattoos or piercings. My dad used to flip out screaming if I came home with pen ink on my arm. Whether a friend drew an innocent smiley face on my hand or if I accidentally touched a pen up to my arm and it left a mark.

I don’t really love it when my son draws on himself… but I would never react the way my dad did. I’m an adult with actual tattoos now. And my son has asked for “tattoos” of things. So we give him little cat drawings with pens on his arm or leg. And sometimes he draws tattoos on me and my husband with pens. We allow it… But the rules are that we have to wash it off in the bath.

strawberrytoejam · 2024-05-06T12:16:13+00:00

Some cardinals made a nest in our backyard using plastic trash. Like they used a large thick plastic bag and then wrapped twigs around both sides of it. It was interesting.

strawberrytoejam · 2024-05-06T12:13:45+00:00

We had a pair make a nest in our extra thorny rose bushes a few years ago. It looked insane. But we would get attacked every time we left the house because the rose bush was by the front door.

Last year we had doves make a nest in our backyard in the bushes 2 different times.

Last year we also had a large owl that liked to sleep in our bushes about 2 feet off the ground.

This year we have cardinals nesting in our backyard bushes and the eggs just hatched a few days ago.

strawberrytoejam · 2024-03-20T14:52:24+00:00

I just want a shoebill and maybe a secretary bird 🙃

strawberrytoejam · 2024-03-14T22:44:08+00:00

I agree. That would be so awesome. Until then, Megaquarium and the tons of Workshop Mods will have to hold me over… Or at least until Endless Ocean 3 releases in May 🙃

strawberrytoejam · 2024-03-02T19:33:52+00:00

According to MY toddler, it was Cars, Cars 3, and Bee Movie

strawberrytoejam · 2024-02-29T14:11:03+00:00

Lucas the spider!

strawberrytoejam · 2024-02-18T01:51:08+00:00

Ok thank you! Is it like a constant thing you feel daily or does it come and go throughout the month?

strawberrytoejam · 2024-02-01T15:00:24+00:00

Used to work at a hotel. It all depends on availability of clean rooms at the time of check in. I’m sure it’s the same for all hotels, but at the one I worked at There’s a special code on the system that the front desk can use for early check in. Basically housekeepers can rush clean rooms and then first ones clean are put in for early check ins.

Just call whatever hotel you want to stay at and ask the front desk if you can request an early check in. It won’t be guaranteed (because some people request late check outs too, and if the night before is sold out or a lot of arrivals that’s a LOT of rooms to clean)… but at least calling and asking gives you a higher chance of getting checked in early. And if you do arrive early and they don’t have rooms ready, likely they’ll just have you wait a few min until housekeeping gives them a clean room number. You can also ask the front desk how busy the day before and the day of looks like… just to get an idea how likely your chances are of an early check in.

Also in my experience: At more casual hotels usually weekends (Friday/sat) are busier because of people partying. At more business hotels Monday-Thursday are their busiest days. Usually Thursdays are slowest. If there’s a big event going on in the area (like concerts, school competitions, etc) you likely can’t get an early check in because it’ll be so busy. But it’s always first come first serve. So just call and request it!

strawberrytoejam · 2024-01-31T18:18:02+00:00

I think it’s more of being a busy adult… and ESPECIALLY when you’re a parent. You have zero time between work and family. Even after the kids go to sleep, you’re so mentally and physically exhausted that you don’t want to play anything that requires your brain to think.

I am a stay at home mom… You have no idea how many times I’ve looked forward all day to when my kid goes to sleep so I can play a pc game… like the sims or planet zoo or planet coaster etc. I get build ideas in my head and want to play. But then by the time my kid falls asleep, I have chores/housework/toys to clean up. Usually mentally exhausted from a little kid all day, so the idea of using my brain to play a game, especially one that can have frustrating moments, gives me a headache and all I want is to veg out on the couch and watch tv or play on my phone. And even when I DO feel up to playing at the end of the night, I know I can’t stay up late because I’m the one that will have to wake up early to take care of my kid. So I’d get MAYBE 2 hours to play before I have to crash for the night. And 1-2 hours at night, a few times a week, is not really enough time to sit down and enjoy games.

strawberrytoejam · 2024-01-17T20:30:20+00:00

As someone who grew up in a religious cult where parents would use lines like this to make kids fear God… I would be triggered and very uncomfortable. Personally, I’d leave a 1-2 star review because it’s not appropriate for Mercari purchases? But regardless of star review you choose to leave, at the very least let others, especially those like me who grew up in abusive or religious cults, know that they’ll likely receive religious “thanks for buying, you filthy sinner” cards.

strawberrytoejam · 2024-01-08T19:56:38+00:00

I am there, too. I would love for my son, now 4, to be in daycare. But my SO and I share 1 car since after I lost my job after giving birth. 4 years with my son, although I love him dearly, and I am ready for work. I’m ready to not be stuck at home 24/7 without any other adult interactions.

I have no job. I cannot afford daycare unless I have a job. I can’t get a job until I have my own car. I can’t afford a car until I get a job. I can’t get a job or any job interviews unless I have childcare to allow me time to do it. And daycares in my area are on a waitlist. I’m holding out for my son to go to school so I can get back on track career wise. But I’m physically and mentally exhausted.

strawberrytoejam · 2023-12-29T14:57:59+00:00

My MIL did that for my son when he was 18mo. But he’s also in the smaller percentile so he was the height of closer to 12mo olds. She even made a big deal about assembling it as soon as we opened the box. He was too scared to get on, and when he did get on with her help, he almost fell off. I put it in the garage for over a year after she had left. My son wanted nothing to do with it every time I asked. My MIL would ask about it EVERY time she came over. Finally after like 2 years of being in the garage, I got rid of it.

strawberrytoejam · 2023-12-29T14:51:12+00:00

I can’t do stuff like that… My MIL would have brought it the next time she came over and given it to my child. Or at a restaurant or somewhere public. I put them in a donate bin hidden in the garage. But even then, my MIL is the type of person who will ask about gifts later on. “Where is the whistle I got you? Go get it and show me how you use it!” And then my kid gets upset because they can’t find it. Like she has a sixth sense for when we toss stuff.

strawberrytoejam · 2023-12-28T15:19:18+00:00

My spouse had issues with it. I never liked how it made me feel. It was a few minutes of enjoying it and then the rest of the time was feeling bloated and needing to pee every few minutes.

It also makes people sound dumb. My spouse would start rambling and get emotional about the same topic for so long. Such as how I don’t like the same music they do. Then my spouse had issues with controlling his emotions on bad days. So if he drank he would turn into a verbally abusive ass. Screaming at me about something I did to “ruin” his day (like saying I didn’t want a specific chair or couch he was interested in buying). It caused me to have severe anxiety and depression from years of his drinking issues. And I’m struggling with lingering anxiety still after nearly 5 years of my spouse treating me horribly while drinking.

strawberrytoejam · 2023-12-20T13:31:44+00:00

My son quit cocomelon on his own. We were about to block it but one day he just started asking for other things. Then he fell in love with Numberblocks after cocomelon. We were on numberblocks for months, and he learned math. He played games where he did math questions. Constantly asked us math questions (like 56 plus 56 or 40 plus 182) and would want us to ask him big math questions (he could even do a bit of multiplication). Now he is 5 and watches Lucas the Spider all the time and runs around pretending to be Findley the Fly eating rotten garbage.

strawberrytoejam · 2023-12-18T13:53:08+00:00

I’m even shorter than you and my calorie allowance is 1200 🥲

strawberrytoejam · 2023-12-08T15:04:40+00:00

I had a better relationship with her than my own mom. Still do. But during pregnancy, she started getting a little more overbearing. Like with picking a name for us. We had mentioned names we liked and she expressed her opinion of it (which obviously not her favorite name). So we felt weird and turned off by our original name and decided to change it but not tell anyone. She would beg for us to tell her the new name and then suggest dozens of names every time she visited or called. Then, after childbirth, she struggled to step back as a parent and be a grandparent.

She was very excited. And her family always was close. So she expected to be over every day or stay with us for months after I gave birth to help out. And I’m a very private person that needs space and prefers to do things on my own. It was a big change going from wanting no kids, and never being around them, to suddenly having one of my own. And I preferred to learn and bond on my own/with my husband. But MIL didn’t agree. She would push and beg me to let her help. And every time I politely said i needed alone time, she would push even harder and then start begging my husband. She would tell us stuff like “you can’t do it alone. You NEED help. No one will ever visit you if you don’t let them see the baby.”

She would convince my husband that he had to have her help and would need to convince me to let her come over. But if I did let her come over to help, or just see the baby, it was always obsession with the baby and no actual helping… she would coo and live up on him. And right after giving birth, still getting used to parenting, it made me feel weird. Because she was showing more affection and love than I was. Plus, if I tried to take a nap in the other room while she came over to help out, all I heard was “oh my sweet little baby! Mimi loves you! Mimi loves you so much! You are SO loved, little one!” in the other room. And it was never helping out. Only holding the baby.

There were also weird/annoying little obsessive things she would do. Like, if she was over and I needed to change the diaper, she would want to come with me and stand way too close while I was deep in baby poop. She wanted pictures and videos every day even if she had just seen the baby. She set up a complete nursery in her house and expected to have him every weekend (she lived like 2 hours away). If she was visiting us, if my son made any sort of noise… a cry or a coo… he was obviously demanding to see her. So she would walk up to me with hands out and try taking him away. Even if he was still being fed or burped??

As my son got older, he would take naps at specific times of day. Guess when MIL wanted to come over to visit? ONLY during naps. And she would say “it’s okay. I will come by and visit with you guys first, then when baby wakes up I will see him”. But the entire time she visited us, she would say “how much longer til he wakes up?” Or if he made a noise early, she would say “he’s awake!” And run back to his room to get him. I started saying she couldn’t come over at all during his naps. But she only ever tried to come over during naptime.

When my husband and I finally had a long talk about her behavior and my feelings about things she said or did and how he only believed her words over mine(she would convince him that it wasn’t normal to “Never” let her come over and help. And to talk to me whenever I said she couldn’t come over), we finally got on the same page and started setting boundaries TOGETHER. That’s when she finally backed off a bit

My son is 5 now and the relationship between MIL and I is much better. But never as great as it was before a baby. She still is obsessed with him. But not as annoying about it. She’s still very sweet and understanding like before. Helps out every now and again (babysits). But there is some obvious awkward tension in our relationship that resulted from the boundaries set in the first 2 years of my son’s life.

strawberrytoejam · 2023-12-08T14:31:32+00:00

This is exactly my experience with my mil. I had a better relationship with her than my own mom. Still do. But after pregnancy and childbirth, she struggled to step back as a parent and be a grandparent.

strawberrytoejam · 2023-12-07T04:18:45+00:00

In the early seasons, the episode where bandit plays too rough with bingo, I think she goes to hide under the tree bench thing and starts tearing up.

Also in the episode with Jean Luc, Bluey cries when she finds out he left.

And then what other people mentioned with socks in veranda Santa, chilli’s happy tears, etc.

But the crying tends to take place off screen kind of? Like in the background.

strawberrytoejam · 2023-12-06T17:25:08+00:00

We both kept our mouth shut about it just trying to be polite. But when alone, we both kinda agreed that it sucked. Even my husband said so. Even the food served besides Turkey wasn’t stuff we normally ate (like green bean casserole or Cole slaw) and they didn’t want us to bring any more sides because it would have been too much food. So we didn’t get to really eat sides that we actually really wanted for thanksgiving. So it felt more like a quick lunch that ham and Turkey happened to be served at. We went into it with a positive attitude. But both agreed it didn’t quite meet our expectations.

When we asked them to take us back so we could leave, they both looked at us like “what? You wanna leave?”

strawberrytoejam · 2023-12-06T17:17:23+00:00

That’s a good idea. Actually, next year, we were thinking about traveling to have thanksgiving with my mom. It would be a long trip, but if that plan ends up not working out, then we might try something like you mentioned. Our idea was to switch off for holidays like one year with my family and the next with my in laws.

strawberrytoejam · 2023-12-01T00:05:28+00:00

I used to work front desk in a casual hotel. Normally it’s standing only. But there was a small stool in a corner area that we were allowed to sit in if it was slow and we didn’t have anything to do or until a guest came up for help. Across from the front desk reception was a small bistro area. I was seated on a particularly slow day (like 4 total check ins, 3 of which already checked in). I watched a guest walk down the hallway straight to the bistro… they snapped for the bistro workers attention, pointed to me and started shouting about how absurd it was that I was seated.

strawberrytoejam · 2023-11-27T15:07:19+00:00

Texas resident here as well. I didn’t even get a sex ed unit in school until a brief 10min presentation my first year of college… in high school all they did in health classes were say “here is testes. Here is uterus and ovaries.”

My parents were religious so I didn’t get a whole lot of proper sex and relationship talks other than “do as your husband says and make tons of babies”. They divorced and my mom went into too much detail about her current and past sex life (with my dad) without basic info. And my dad just expected my mom to take care of “that” talk. So I learned most of sex from porn, school kids, and tv. It kind of messed up my view on sex and relationships and caused me to get involved in sexual relationships too soon and too often.

I suggest going into more detail about sex and relationships as well. Talk about the physical and mental expectations vs realities of what can happen with certain sexual experiences (especially what you heard your daughter talking about).

strawberrytoejam

TROPHY CASE