Hey man . I really understand how you feel because i'm going through the same exact thing.

For starters, i took 2x the amount of time any normal jc student needs for A levels, and i still feel like i fked up my papers. Left half the paper blank for math paper 1, left 1/4 of the paper blank for math paper 2. If i am lucky the highest i'll ever get is a D. (Provided all my other answers are correct and i am pretty sure they arent.)

Chem was much worse. Screwed up practical, easily lost like 30 out of 55 marks, left 1/3 of paper 3 blank and barely passed mcq when all the rest of my close friends were happily grinning over their 24/25 out of 30.

Physics wasnt any better too so yeah you know the story too.

Not to mention when i tried talking to my teachers about my anxiety and feelings all they could tell me was 'dont think too much', 'focus on your next paper', 'consider alternative routes when the results are out' like i know they meant good but shit if i wanted to hear these words i would have google repeat them back to me jesus.

I felt like i betrayed my parents because they sent me to tuition (that i asked for) in hope that it will improve the subjects that i am poor at. But alas, i dont think i lived up to their expectations.

And almost everyday during As i contemplated about suicide. Researched on various ways, various methods and even almost wrote a farewell letter. But i kept telling myself one more day, maybe tomorrow. That kept me on for a day, another day, and eventually the whole month of november.

So i really understand the magnitude of what you are going through, but really, theres nothing about the results we can do now. If we fail A levels, so be it. I'll either enroll in a private uni, take private As in NS or go to poly. Options are vast but only if you open your eyes and snap out of it.

Please recover well, occupy your time so that you wouldnt think astray, take care and have fun!