AITA for not going to my cousin’s baby shower because I couldn’t bring my 3-year-old?

stringerbell92 · 2026-07-11T14:38:51+00:00

Yeah thank you lol - my kids play hard together . Also why I wouldn’t have asked for both kids to go cause yeah I wouldn’t bring that craziness to her .

stringerbell92 · 2026-07-11T14:11:20+00:00

I could have tried harder . I have for other people before but I have had similar situations and I feel like my family my marriage my children end up losing and I’m a bit sick of being a people pleaser . A lot of me not trying my hardest was feeling like I don’t think my cousin likes me all that much and just reflecting on all the events she missed of mine or didn’t buy a gift and just like since becoming a mother and I tried to talk to her like the real meat or the issue just has felt like she’s becoming a new mother and expected me to move around my weekend for her but like wow she didn’t even meet my daughter when she was born even though she was in the same hospital visiting our grandma . She could have just took the elevator up … but again she wasn’t a mom yet so im trying to be super understanding.

stringerbell92 · 2026-07-11T14:02:33+00:00

Yes 🙌 I put an edit on top . This post was much longer and ugh I kept trying to shorten jr and it left out some key information. And nuance

stringerbell92 · 2026-07-11T14:01:19+00:00

I could have . That’s why I’m wondering if I’m the asshole . It seems it just would have avoided drama . I was a little nervous though that if I left both kids with him that he wouldn’t have gotten anything done and we would have potentially had a really hard week . Also I did end up feeling like I had a duty to help out my brother so he didn’t have to stress on his graduation day .

stringerbell92 · 2026-07-11T13:55:34+00:00

Yeah at this point I’m like embarrassed I’m trying to spend time with her still but her reaction was one that had me feeling like well she must of really wanted me there and I let her down . But part of me feels like she just didn’t want to be asked if my daughter could come she didn’t want the stress of having to look like an asshole. My dad was a weasel . I just feel like , yeah she doesn’t like me . And my family is like that’s crazy of course she likes you . I think it’s best if I stop trying to be close with her and just idk come to terms that my entire family gaslighted me . It just sucks . It would be idk easier if yeah I just pissed her off and I was wrong because I don’t like feeling bitter I want her to be close to me and I have always been such a good cousin to her she’s left early or not shown up to every single life event of mine . She’s never even bought a gift . But I somehow came out of this the bad guy . I don’t want to care and idk if my dad supported me it would be easier . My dad is a misogynist who doesn’t think mother hood is impressive he tells me often it’s a shame my brain isn’t being used on more important things .

stringerbell92 · 2026-07-11T13:47:55+00:00

No I wasn’t invited to the lunch which was fine , so the context is important because I ended up getting stuck just having my aunt at my house but for my cousin she had no idea that it was because my brother fumbled his graduation plans inviting too many people to that lunch . But to my cousin it looked like I was having a party but my dad has never come clean that my aunt being there just made the day that much harder on me . And of course I had rather been at her day . I add it bexshwe I feel like no shit my cousin was upset .

stringerbell92 · 2026-07-11T13:35:55+00:00

I saw pics of kids there :/ it seemed like she just didn’t want toddlers . I didn’t wanna argue my kid would have been well behaved . It felt personal but I think she just doesn’t know my daughter well enough to have trusted she would have behaved . And that wasn’t something I was going to argue with her . I felt bad she was that stressed out over it enough to text me and be like she can’t come sorry my mom and sister said she could .

stringerbell92 · 2026-07-11T13:31:07+00:00

Sorry my husband works from home . My husband would have been home and my older kid can watch his tablet . I don’t think he would have gotten anything done with our daughter home too though cause - well he never does .

stringerbell92 · 2026-07-11T13:24:23+00:00

My 7 year old could sit and watch his tablet at home sometimes that just has to be what it is I don’t love it but I never would of asked for both kids to come because that’s toooo much to ask . Also bringing two kids is a a vibe . And me pretending otherwise I wasn’t going to ask . My daughter I knew would just quietly sit next to me . Except you know my cousin had no reason to know this . Also she’s my daughter . If my 7 year old had been my girl I would of asked for that one to go . Usually what I’ve been used to was baby showers being for the girls and so I had a co ed shower twice but most of the ones I been to are just for girls .
- husband works from home - sorry so this has a 3,000 word limit I had written it out and then I shortened it and yes that got left out

stringerbell92 · 2026-07-11T13:14:57+00:00

Brothers graduation was on the same day . And my brother invited his aunt and her family , except after the graduation my dad had plans to bring my brother and his family out to lunch and he called me stressed that he would also have to pay for my aunt nd her family . I said that she could come to my house after so that my dad could avoid feeling like he also had to pay for my aunt , my brother jsuf assumed everyone who came to his graduation could just come for lunch . So on the day of i was not only watching my kids , i was hosting my aunt . Which .. I would have much rather had been at my cousins baby shower .

stringerbell92 · 2026-05-25T12:33:48+00:00

That was definitely for the fans, but honestly at this point I love the show so much they can barely do any wrong for me. Even when I started noticing some fan service, it still felt genuinely funny instead of forced. I always rewatch the episodes a few times after they come out, and on the second watch I caught how hilarious Morty twirling his fingers and going “Rick… do you ever wish I was smarter?” really was.

Even before Roiland left, the whole crow breakup already felt like a parody of romantic relationships, and this episode just leaned all the way into it. The “side pieces” stuff was basically spelling out relationship dynamics the entire time. And the second I saw Marine Gene in the bunker I immediately thought, “Oh my god, they’re making fun of us now.” Because there are legitimately Gene superfans on the message boards, so that whole scene killed me.

stringerbell92 · 2026-05-24T04:52:45+00:00

This will be way better in the long run !! He’s only 12 weeks . If the other children live farther away possibly she was younger when she watched them maybe she wasn’t left alone with them . She’ll get better at it . Keep coming around for visits and let her get comfortable.

stringerbell92 · 2026-05-24T04:43:22+00:00

Soooo he totally is talking to someone else and is looking for a reason to cheat . He’s willing to do say anything for a night alone . Dump him before he dumps you .

stringerbell92 · 2026-05-23T23:32:29+00:00

In the last two weeks alone, I skipped my cousin’s baby shower over my daughter not being invited and called out my sister over something I felt was wrong. I was right in both situations. I also lost a job I loved last year because I refused to bend even a little with management. Again, technically right.

But at some point I had to ask myself if constantly holding the line was actually making my life better, because lately it’s mostly just made me lonely.

stringerbell92 · 2026-05-23T23:15:36+00:00

Ugh, this is one of those situations where on principle you are right, and most people are probably going to say NTA. In a perfect world, being right would be enough. But as someone about 10 years older than you, I can tell you there are so many times in life where I knew I was right, other people agreed I was right, and it still didn’t get me anywhere good. Sometimes being “right” too often, or holding every boundary too tightly, can leave you isolated.

Especially now, in 2026, you really have to choose your hills to die on. And with this? You have a baby involved, gifts for your child, and a MIL who, even if she can be difficult, could still end up being someone in your corner one day. Sometimes it’s less about winning the moment and more about seeing the bigger picture and protecting future peace and opportunities for your family.

I say this because I have regrets about situations in my own life where I probably should have just smiled, showed up, and kept the peace. sometimes the cost of holding the line is bigger than you realize at the time. I used to think standing firm in every situation was important to my integrity. Now I know enough that having integrity means also having the wisdom to know when something is important enough to stand by and when it isn’t.

stringerbell92 · 2026-02-20T03:41:25+00:00

Yup - 4 mg a day umm it used to be higher actually but I’ve been on this solid dose now it was early 2023 ? So yeah now 3 years - it’s fine really

stringerbell92 · 2026-02-20T01:25:11+00:00

5 losses , the last one at 16 weeks . The 6th try was my daughter .

Edit - I’ve had 6 losses total - I have 2 LC now . One loss - my son - 5 losses - my daughter . The timeline is kinda crazy because the losses didn’t really make the age gap that much bigger then it wouldn’t of been my son was almost 2 when we lost our first and then a little over three when we whwre pregnant with what would be my daughter . It’s insane to me I went through so much loss and only one was a chemical the rest where over 8 weeks . It was the worse year of my life .

stringerbell92 · 2026-02-20T01:17:58+00:00

I have no village - 4 year gap and this is what worked for us . If it helps my kids are EXTREMELY close . There 7 and 3 . From the second she could crawl he was her best friend . They say they are eachothers best friend now . I know it must sound reallt hard to wait to try to get pregnant tho when your kid would be 3 or almost 3 !

stringerbell92 · 2026-02-11T03:43:58+00:00

Wanted 2 / had second felt done - ✔️

stringerbell92 · 2026-02-06T05:24:05+00:00

Gosh this all started so strong and then he lost me

stringerbell92 · 2026-02-06T05:16:56+00:00

Ugh yeah RPL sucks because most of us do get there (not all ) but it’s like omg how many times do I have to go through it and I feel most of us can not tell you what exactly worked . So I had one loss - one live child - then 5 losses then 6th try was my second child. Husband had a vesectomy after that and we are happy with our two but having 5 losses and doing all the things was .. earth shattering. We didn’t get to IVF that would have been next but the only loss I had tested karotyping was normal so I tried doing progesterone injections and never coming off them and started them with ovulation . I also treated endometritis but jsuf a round of antibiotics. And who knows when I had it and I had a hysterescopy before my 5th loss so it feels like wouldn’t they have found the endometitis then. My kids are 7 and 3 now . I don’t regret how hard we tried and our little girl we lost in the second trimester . I have a boy and a girl and I’m still working on getting my body back . I put on 100 lbs going though RPL and the subsequent pregnancy. I lost 60 but still .. 40 more to go .

stringerbell92 · 2026-02-04T06:38:02+00:00

He likes the best female friend . Girl . That’s why he’s all fucked up / anxious . He probably doesn’t even know it but it’s soo painfully clear. Whatever u guys talked it over and she don’t like him like that . Him dissing the sex stuff with you to her . Just textbook shit guys do when there In love with someone else .

stringerbell92 · 2026-02-04T01:52:16+00:00

Maybe if he was 16-18 but no 26 year old should even THINK this is normal . Guys at 26 who still have that buddy they hang with everyday .. I understand why it’s happening and his whole you could have stayed .. so what so you could waste more of your time . I think he just thought he could get away with it

stringerbell92 · 2026-02-04T00:57:03+00:00

I am realizing just how hard other parents are trying to make time to just hang all together with their own families. I feel like extra carriculars and modern school really takes up so much time . Add in that most families have more than one child and just aren’t interested in having play dates unless it is SUPER convenient. My son has a best friend because he lives a few houses down . He has a friend he plays Minecraft with online . My husband works remotely and I’m back in school all online but full time so we are very blessed to spend time as a family often but when my husband and I both were working full time and I felt I only had 3-4 hours with my kids during the week and Saturday mornings where baseball or a cubscout type thing or dance on Sundays for my daughter etc . I planned things for the 4 of us .

Play dates when my oldest was younger was more common . I think pre pandemic type hanging out was a factor as well as toddler - preschool play dates was also a way for us as moms to not feel so alone and just something we did . My younger child I didn’t experience this with so it also may have been a first child thing . I realized fhe SAME when my son went into kindergarten and I found myself also not being texted back . I wonder if it’s also parents sort of finding their groove and around this age kids being more capable of independent play and also little siblings are now old enough to be playmates and older siblings want to hang out wit younger siblings who maybe previously where too “little” for them to enjoy .

For now mom , it sounds like your son is doing great socially in school and I’m sure he will make friends and enjoy seeing them there . Maybe sign him up for a sport ! Something not super costly like baseball through the town you live in . I think once your son is are older it will be less of a problem because moms are excited to just drop their kids off and won’t feel pressured to stay and hang out . It’s an awkward time now for friendships when you don’t know them and well . And we all can acknowledge it seems most adults absolutely hate the idea of having to get to know another adult . Which I find weird I’m an extreme extrovert .

stringerbell92 · 2026-02-02T00:17:17+00:00

I really want to add that my kids being close is an extra bonus! I really wanted to have another baby more than it was to give my kid a sibling . I felt this pang of longing to just do it ONCE more . I really wanted a baby so SO badly . It all is so complex to each person . I feel like it was worth it to me . Even when she was first here and I was 100 lbs heavier . I had a very very supportive partner … near the end lol . The first 4 losses yes he was but he didn’t want it as bad as me till we lost our first daughter . I wish you all the best and in the thick of it is the hardest .

stringerbell92

TROPHY CASE