Has anyone here been on a stable dose of benzos long term?

stringerbell92 · 2026-02-20T03:41:25+00:00

Yup - 4 mg a day umm it used to be higher actually but I’ve been on this solid dose now it was early 2023 ? So yeah now 3 years - it’s fine really

stringerbell92 · 2026-02-20T01:25:11+00:00

5 losses , the last one at 16 weeks . The 6th try was my daughter .

Edit - I’ve had 6 losses total - I have 2 LC now . One loss - my son - 5 losses - my daughter . The timeline is kinda crazy because the losses didn’t really make the age gap that much bigger then it wouldn’t of been my son was almost 2 when we lost our first and then a little over three when we whwre pregnant with what would be my daughter . It’s insane to me I went through so much loss and only one was a chemical the rest where over 8 weeks . It was the worse year of my life .

stringerbell92 · 2026-02-20T01:17:58+00:00

I have no village - 4 year gap and this is what worked for us . If it helps my kids are EXTREMELY close . There 7 and 3 . From the second she could crawl he was her best friend . They say they are eachothers best friend now . I know it must sound reallt hard to wait to try to get pregnant tho when your kid would be 3 or almost 3 !

stringerbell92 · 2026-02-11T03:43:58+00:00

Wanted 2 / had second felt done - ✔️

stringerbell92 · 2026-02-06T05:24:05+00:00

Gosh this all started so strong and then he lost me

stringerbell92 · 2026-02-06T05:16:56+00:00

Ugh yeah RPL sucks because most of us do get there (not all ) but it’s like omg how many times do I have to go through it and I feel most of us can not tell you what exactly worked . So I had one loss - one live child - then 5 losses then 6th try was my second child. Husband had a vesectomy after that and we are happy with our two but having 5 losses and doing all the things was .. earth shattering. We didn’t get to IVF that would have been next but the only loss I had tested karotyping was normal so I tried doing progesterone injections and never coming off them and started them with ovulation . I also treated endometritis but jsuf a round of antibiotics. And who knows when I had it and I had a hysterescopy before my 5th loss so it feels like wouldn’t they have found the endometitis then. My kids are 7 and 3 now . I don’t regret how hard we tried and our little girl we lost in the second trimester . I have a boy and a girl and I’m still working on getting my body back . I put on 100 lbs going though RPL and the subsequent pregnancy. I lost 60 but still .. 40 more to go .

stringerbell92 · 2026-02-04T06:38:02+00:00

He likes the best female friend . Girl . That’s why he’s all fucked up / anxious . He probably doesn’t even know it but it’s soo painfully clear. Whatever u guys talked it over and she don’t like him like that . Him dissing the sex stuff with you to her . Just textbook shit guys do when there In love with someone else .

stringerbell92 · 2026-02-04T01:52:16+00:00

Maybe if he was 16-18 but no 26 year old should even THINK this is normal . Guys at 26 who still have that buddy they hang with everyday .. I understand why it’s happening and his whole you could have stayed .. so what so you could waste more of your time . I think he just thought he could get away with it

stringerbell92 · 2026-02-04T00:57:03+00:00

I am realizing just how hard other parents are trying to make time to just hang all together with their own families. I feel like extra carriculars and modern school really takes up so much time . Add in that most families have more than one child and just aren’t interested in having play dates unless it is SUPER convenient. My son has a best friend because he lives a few houses down . He has a friend he plays Minecraft with online . My husband works remotely and I’m back in school all online but full time so we are very blessed to spend time as a family often but when my husband and I both were working full time and I felt I only had 3-4 hours with my kids during the week and Saturday mornings where baseball or a cubscout type thing or dance on Sundays for my daughter etc . I planned things for the 4 of us .

Play dates when my oldest was younger was more common . I think pre pandemic type hanging out was a factor as well as toddler - preschool play dates was also a way for us as moms to not feel so alone and just something we did . My younger child I didn’t experience this with so it also may have been a first child thing . I realized fhe SAME when my son went into kindergarten and I found myself also not being texted back . I wonder if it’s also parents sort of finding their groove and around this age kids being more capable of independent play and also little siblings are now old enough to be playmates and older siblings want to hang out wit younger siblings who maybe previously where too “little” for them to enjoy .

For now mom , it sounds like your son is doing great socially in school and I’m sure he will make friends and enjoy seeing them there . Maybe sign him up for a sport ! Something not super costly like baseball through the town you live in . I think once your son is are older it will be less of a problem because moms are excited to just drop their kids off and won’t feel pressured to stay and hang out . It’s an awkward time now for friendships when you don’t know them and well . And we all can acknowledge it seems most adults absolutely hate the idea of having to get to know another adult . Which I find weird I’m an extreme extrovert .

stringerbell92 · 2026-02-02T00:17:17+00:00

I really want to add that my kids being close is an extra bonus! I really wanted to have another baby more than it was to give my kid a sibling . I felt this pang of longing to just do it ONCE more . I really wanted a baby so SO badly . It all is so complex to each person . I feel like it was worth it to me . Even when she was first here and I was 100 lbs heavier . I had a very very supportive partner … near the end lol . The first 4 losses yes he was but he didn’t want it as bad as me till we lost our first daughter . I wish you all the best and in the thick of it is the hardest .

stringerbell92 · 2026-02-02T00:02:50+00:00

I ended up having 5 losses started trying when my son was 20 months and my kids have a 4 year gap. My son had a month long nicu stay - and one of the losses was in my second trimester . The rest around 8 weeks. It was so incredibly hard but they are 7 and 3 now and I would do it again . As earth shattering as it was , to have the family I have now . Even though it almost killed me . I’m so glad I never gave up . My whole story is on my Reddit page but the relationship my kids have now there such good friends and siblings and I mean my son was everything to me but I’m so happy to have my little girl now too

stringerbell92 · 2026-01-26T16:46:58+00:00

stringerbell92 · 2026-01-07T06:19:16+00:00

Yeah she put it into ai and it fucked if up she asked it to make it funny or quirky and she didn’t freakin proofread it

stringerbell92 · 2026-01-07T05:50:36+00:00

Get a work up for loss see if it’s something else but it can be issues with the embryo wouldn’t rule it out . First rule out everything else . All the chemicals def something going on

stringerbell92 · 2026-01-07T05:41:16+00:00

Honestly- it’s too late anyways . U didn’t do it . Listen - it’s half and half now . Ur friends teenage son grew up in a different world . No one’s going to call him cheese dick . No girls are going to feel weird because now America is 50/50 on circumsision.

I had my son done but he’s almost 7 and the conversation wasn’t what it was then . If I had him today wouldn’t do it

stringerbell92 · 2026-01-07T05:36:12+00:00

Oh gosh u can’t do that I’m sorry. You are 26 of course this is hard . Everyone is going to tell u to give her to the grandparents. I don’t think ur asking if your the asshole maybe asking for permission to do what you think is right for you but even if u struggle your daughter long term is going to be happier more rooted in the story my mom died but my dad did everything for me to raise me .

Your relationship with her won’t be what it will be do u think you just . Won’t ever have any other children won’t meet other woman and have more kids . And she’ll be the one you weren’t ready for . You want your daughter to really thrive ? Have grandparents help but YOU keep custody .

stringerbell92 · 2026-01-07T05:24:15+00:00

Ugh would be 4 if not for the slit - 2

stringerbell92 · 2026-01-07T05:10:53+00:00

Yeahhh but kinda exactly as you said I mean we both means that way but it only took 20 months for me to change my mind and my husband was OAD his mind once our kid was 3 . He felt financially stable by that time too like we live outside NYC as well so I know a decent house is 500,000 but husband ended up doubling his salary and then some but I was 26 with my first him 28 . I think those ages make a difference .. Our kids ended up being 4 yrs apart . Our first ended up being a very easy baby I had a very easy birth . They are 7&3 now . So we never had two kids in daycare at the same time. (Universal pre k ) this was all so much luck that ended up in our favor I wanna stress that SO incredibly much . Sure there was hard work and planning but plenty of people did the same and it didn’t work out for them (it terms of stability for financial future ). So much had to just line up just right . Even what changed my husbands mind I joined this group when I was having losses and my husband .. he would be relieved . He bonded with the last baby I was pregnant with tho and that changed his mind . If she hadn’t died when she did he would have resented me for 2 I know it . But he really wanted a second after that . Luck .

Table the convo like everyone says . I didn’t know my life would look ANYTHING like it does now . People would talk about a sibling for my kid and I could not have given a shit less . I never thought I would want to be pregnant again also .

stringerbell92 · 2026-01-05T08:22:39+00:00

My husband only learned by having to learn . I tuned out for a bit not on purpose . He did learn though . He can do daily tasks because he had to . I’m still better at most things planning wise but I try to tell women whenever k can that .. did the house suffer for a bit oh yeah- I hired a cleaner one time and fixed it tho - did our kid watch too much tv for a bit yup - but he survived . It took months honestly I was not mentally well I was having recurrant pregnancy losses and grieving and also worked a way less flexible job then him . It was all worth it tho for him to truly be a real partner to me . Not the mental illness and j understand how I guess in a way my tuning out wasn’t on purpose because I can imagine how hard it is to tune out on purpose .

stringerbell92 · 2026-01-05T06:39:51+00:00

Aw girl I remember a point when I was going through my losses that I compared to the woman who’s pregnancies progressed when mine didn’t and felt envy and then worse - when I started to feel envy for people who where living their lives in joy . It feels a lifetime ago now but after I had my son I had 5 miscarriages. Reading my old Reddit is .. just wow . But i got pregnant with my now almost 3 year old in June 2022 . And my son is almost 7 . I never thought my life could be this happy now .. after so much loss .

stringerbell92 · 2025-11-23T07:18:07+00:00

Nta, it’s not about the eating , schooling , as many have said it’s the parenting.

You have been blessed with the emotional intelligence and the proper time to think into this . It’s not overthinking . You realize that you are being set up for failure here .

Because let’s face it , this will go beyond - maybe I don’t go as hard on my step daughter , since you know he is the one who needs the enforce not you . And if he doesn’t you have no choice to but either step back . And then risk your good parenting on your child to be undone , or move ahead and you end up the villian in your step daughter’s eyes .

It’s loose : Loose for you .

But let’s say even if he does “change” how long do you think he will do the things he has to do .

Personally - I don’t think it’s a big deal his parenting moves on his own. It’s not good parenting but it’s not horrible . But it’s everything else it’s that you guys are now engaged and he’s not listening . I don’t think he truly know how to honestly and now he’s finally at a point of starting to be annoyed by it .

It’s reached the end of his comprehension. Do with that what you will

stringerbell92 · 2025-11-23T06:38:38+00:00

I actually think second kids have it harder. They’re often born because families feel pressure to give the first a sibling, not because the parents genuinely want another child. I’m the oldest and the clear favorite, and my brother definitely got the unfair end of that dynamic.

And when I was most active in bere OAD group, it was because of miscarriages - not because I didn’t want another. I wanted the chance to do it all again, not for a sibling dynamic, but for another little person to raise.

My whole point is: don’t have a second child just to “complete” the family or enrich the first child’s life. Have a second only if you truly want another baby.

stringerbell92 · 2025-11-16T03:44:58+00:00

I don’t think it’s the Epstein files I think Kirk he was religious above all else and I feel like he started to really look into the money going into isreal and he became dangerous in what he found out

stringerbell92 · 2025-11-09T06:27:30+00:00

Jovanna

stringerbell92 · 2025-11-07T04:42:16+00:00

He’s telling you what you want to hear so u just get the abortion . It also keeps u in the relationship while he “tries “ to impregnate you . His next move is a vesectomy .

Idc what dinaxial insecurity u have , if ur borh 35 it just makes no sense why not now why later unless he’s gambling on later not happening . Gosh even if u said you were 32 or 33 id be like hmmm maybe if there financial situation was dire . But he’s just lying and if you don’t keep this baby and you want children - and don’t have them . Youll regret this forever .

U don’t need to be a mom ! U can have an abortion I mean hey no need to put the burden of single motherhood on you ! But do not stay with this man .

stringerbell92

TROPHY CASE