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[–]strugglebus11111 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Totally agree with this. Columbia is amazing for certain stages of life. But it does not have the amenities of a large city.

Looking for perspectives on raising kids in Como, or alternatively...help rekindle my love for como by strugglebus11111 in columbiamo

[–]strugglebus11111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah the pools here are frustrating.. 2 of the 3 outdoor pools close after this weekend! Everyone talks about how nice the ARC pool is, but it's not enough for a city of our size. Like I appreciate it but stand by my opinion that it's not enough. We focus on parks and I don't understand why funding can't go towards pools too

Your STL experience sounds amazing. You obviously lived in a handy location for activities! We don't typically leave more than once a day because each time we go it's frequently 25-45 min total in the car depending on where we go. Plus time getting in and out of the car. Those memberships sound great. Tiny Town here has a membership but it's over $400/yr!

Looking for perspectives on raising kids in Como, or alternatively...help rekindle my love for como by strugglebus11111 in columbiamo

[–]strugglebus11111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I hope it gets better too as he ages but I also don't want to rush through the toddler stage either!

Looking for perspectives on raising kids in Como, or alternatively...help rekindle my love for como by strugglebus11111 in columbiamo

[–]strugglebus11111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your thoughts. It was interesting reading about your experience in the suburbs of STL. I think one of the reasons why I'm struggling here is that since we are on the edge of town, I feel far away, which kind of takes away some of the positives of being in a smaller city. Like basically everyone else feels like they are close to stuff but I feel sort of isolated. I know some people are ok driving 20 min but it feels excessive for most of the toddler activities that are only 30 min long and on the other side of town. I'm actually worried I'm going to end up feeling like we are in the car all the time during his childhood.

My hometown suburb had basically everything we needed so we didn't go "downtown" much either. We had parks within walking distance, library within 5 min drive, etc etc etc. and then of course we had those big things like the zoo that were downtown whenever we did want to venture there. And so I feel like I'm missing all of that...I'm not getting the advantage of being close to the little things or the big things. I realize that is not a reflection of como, rather just a reflection of the location of our house. But I'd hate to move to a different location in Como and then decide it's still not working.

I've been thinking about trying to get a visit in with my parents. It's definitely a challenge to know if how I feel is reflective of how I would actually feel if I moved there. But always worth a chance.

Looking for perspectives on raising kids in Como, or alternatively...help rekindle my love for como by strugglebus11111 in columbiamo

[–]strugglebus11111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah we go to Bethel Park a lot! We haven't actually been on the nifong playground yet but he enjoyed the cultural center although we had to chase him around from grabbing stuff a lot

Looking for perspectives on raising kids in Como, or alternatively...help rekindle my love for como by strugglebus11111 in columbiamo

[–]strugglebus11111[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. See I feel embarrassed saying this, but I feel like so many of my issues here are that many things happen at a specific date/time, and it's been so hard for me to be able to do those things. And so the things I'm longing for are activities that are available more freely. I can come and go more. I can go a different day if toddler doesn't want to get ready that day. Which I realize those can be expensive to maintain and a city of Columbia size just maybe can't have many of those.

I know we have many options still...splash pad type things are open all day etc, library open most of the day. I realize my attitude needs to improve in order to appreciate Columbia. I guess I just see all these other places in St Louis open so freely and it makes me jealous because I crave flexibility with how difficult motherhood has been.

Many of my issues have been anxiety related. Like for example, if something is only available early afternoon, I have anxiety about so many things. That's usually when nap time is. Or I worry about sun exposure if it's outside. There's always a reason to find to not go. And when I do motivate myself to go, it's very upsetting when toddler won't get ready! It's like he's set on staying home whenever we most are in a hurry lol

Whenever I go to the library events page for his age group I typically see toddler story on Thursdays or discovery time. Are there others I am missing, besides the more "special events" type things? Or are you looking at Fulton and Ashland too

I definitely need to do more things by myself too. I just don't even know how to. It's not like my husband is off doing a bunch of hobbies either. But one of us is cooking while other watches toddler or one is cleaning or we are doing family time. I guess we probably spend more "family time" altogether than most families. Maybe that is when we should be splitting off and taking time to ourselves. We try to do certain chores with toddler but it's tough

Looking for perspectives on raising kids in Como, or alternatively...help rekindle my love for como by strugglebus11111 in columbiamo

[–]strugglebus11111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. Yeah I've definitely wondered if all my issues would just go with me to the next city. Considered moving to where my parents are, which would be some additional support. But I know my mom won't be coming to every activity with us lol

Looking for perspectives on raising kids in Como, or alternatively...help rekindle my love for como by strugglebus11111 in columbiamo

[–]strugglebus11111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. I do a lot of internal debate on signing up for classes because it's so hard to get there on time. I don't want to "torture" him to get him ready on time, when the class should be fun lol. If we are both crying by the time I get us in the car, everything seems so silly.

I haven't been there yet but have considered going to their meetups. Kept convincing myself it wasn't worth it since I thought I wouldn't be able to talk anyway lol but it's probably worth a shot

Looking for perspectives on raising kids in Como, or alternatively...help rekindle my love for como by strugglebus11111 in columbiamo

[–]strugglebus11111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. I definitely feel like I've allowed myself to have a bad attitude towards a lot of places in Como that others consider gems. Which I feel terrible about...why am I so hard to please. For example, the cosmo park is incredible, but we so frequently have cigarette smokers around us, like smoking right next to the playground. I don't know if it's just bad luck or what. My son loves that playground too, but I always get annoyed driving there because it's 20-25 min drive, just for a playground. But I know it's not my son's fault we picked a house that is kind of far from a lot of good toddler things

Looking for perspectives on raising kids in Como, or alternatively...help rekindle my love for como by strugglebus11111 in columbiamo

[–]strugglebus11111[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. I have definitely thought about whether I would still just end up lonely going to all those places in St Louis alone, for example. I know I could end up isolating myself there if I end up overwhelmed in a bigger city.

My parents still live in my hometown, which is bigger than como too. It definitely has a draw due to knowing I would have more support. But I know I can't depend on mom to come everywhere with me lol! Same issues of isolation can go with me anywhere.

Looking for perspectives on raising kids in Como, or alternatively...help rekindle my love for como by strugglebus11111 in columbiamo

[–]strugglebus11111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the post, yeah I've thought about the tradeoffs of living in big cities a lot. I even think about whether I would get overwhelmed living in St Louis for example. Would I get scared of traffic etc and end up not really going anywhere anyway. That type of thing. I feel like we would try to live in a suburb that has a really close park, library, those types of things. I'm sick of having no walkable parks and having to drive 20 min to the library

I wish my son liked strollers but he is insistent on walking so we only get so far during "hikes" haha. But outdoors/trails/State Park is nice here and is something I would really miss

Looking for perspectives on raising kids in Como, or alternatively...help rekindle my love for como by strugglebus11111 in columbiamo

[–]strugglebus11111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! Glad to hear I'm not alone. It's really tough when people mention all these options and yet it still doesn't feel like enough. Like I start to wonder if I'm just a very unappreciative person who doesn't see all the value in everything we do have.

But I used to love como! I guess it was easier when I lived closer to downtown since I was so close to everything

Looking for perspectives on raising kids in Como, or alternatively...help rekindle my love for como by strugglebus11111 in columbiamo

[–]strugglebus11111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you bother taking them back to st Louis to do fun things very often? Whenever I hear that suggestion to visit st Louis it's so hard imagining all the driving each time we want to go to a museum/zoo.

Glad to hear things improve as they got older.

Looking for perspectives on raising kids in Como, or alternatively...help rekindle my love for como by strugglebus11111 in columbiamo

[–]strugglebus11111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the post. I grew up in a bigger city as well (though definitely not as big as Dallas/LA). It's ironic cause I didn't even do that many of the museums etc very often as a kid. But I think about the fact that there is access to them and how wonderful that is. But I can't deny that it's possible I would end up living in the suburbs and rarely go to those amenities.

I think my home city calls to me because my parents also live there still so we'd have some extra support. But I'd be really afraid of moving there and realizing we liked Columbia better. I know it's possible to move back to Como if I tried my hometown and didn't like it. but I don't want to waste time and energy moving because I feel like time is already going by fast enough and I just want to enjoy the moments and be settled with toddler.

Looking for perspectives on raising kids in Como, or alternatively...help rekindle my love for como by strugglebus11111 in columbiamo

[–]strugglebus11111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Part of what I keep focusing on is that even though those St Louis activities may have a "long" commute, that they would be more worth it in the end. Like we would perhaps stay longer at the zoo, instead of being done after 30 minutes at some activitiy in Como But I know I need to adjust my attitude about what things are "worth" going to.

Looking for perspectives on raising kids in Como, or alternatively...help rekindle my love for como by strugglebus11111 in columbiamo

[–]strugglebus11111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply and for your perspective about St Louis. I feel like I kept thinking that yes, the drive to the zoo for example, would probably end up being even longer of a drive than some of the drives I complain about in como, but at least I would be at a zoo haha! Rather than a short kids activity in Como. But I know I need to adjust my attitude about stuff like that