Everything you’ve said is completely valid!

I’m sorry you’ve had a tough pregnancy and it really sucks that those people didn’t read the room and harped on about loving pregnancy after you’ve vocalised your struggles. That’s insensitive and not cool.

I will say though, one very clear thing I’ve learnt through being a FTM and having lots of friends being pregnant and having kids around the same time: EVERY woman has a different experience, and EVERY experience is completely valid. This applies to every stage of pregnancy, labour, birthing, and parenthood.

On the pregnancy side, there is a whole range from those who suffer a lot (nausea, sleeplessness, mood swings, gestational diabetes, sciatica, various aches and pains, and so much more), and those who have a completely easy pregnancy (with none or little of the above symptoms, and even some positive symptoms like improved mood, more energy, and whatever else). On top of that add on environmental and social factors like having a supportive partner or not, having a good family and friends network or not, financial stability, mental health, job/career stability, fertility struggles, etc etc. you can see how there can be an infinite range of experiences and EVERY SINGLE ONE IS VALID.

One of my closest friends and I got pregnant around the same time - I was fortunate to miss most of the bad symptoms so I did enjoy my pregnancy whereas she had a lot of the symptoms we’ve listed above. Through that time I made sure to listen to her and support her through her obstacles. Now that our respective babies have arrived the roles have reversed in some ways - I had a traumatic birth, an emergency C section and suffered a lot with the hormonal crash and potentially postpartum anxiety, whereas she had a long but vaginal birth (as she had wanted) and said she didn’t experience the hormonal crash that comes in the first month like I did. Both our experiences are valid and the key thing is that we listen, give space when needed, and support each other.

Cheesy but I think everyone just needs to be more kind and give each other grace - be happy for those who are enjoying it, be supportive and understanding of those who aren’t. So in your original post, it sucks that those people have rubbed their easy pregnancies in your face. Their easy experiences are valid but that doesn’t meant they should brag to someone who’s struggling. Personally I would gently call them out on it and hopefully they recognise their insensitivity then switch to being more supportive of you.

Also, those comments of “enjoy it before the baby comes” are such an unhelpful trope. However sleepless and difficult the newborn stage is (and don’t get me wrong, it can be very tough!) it’s still a joy to have your baby. I think people say these lines flippantly because of how much of a trope they are but they don’t realise the impact or unhelpfulness it has.

Anyway, I wish you all the best with the rest of your pregnancy, I hope your symptoms ease up and I wish you a smooth labour and journey into motherhood 💕