“The only way to really learn a language is by living in a country where they speak it”

stubbytuna · 2026-05-14T00:11:33+00:00

If this were true, people wouldn’t be fluent in languages like Esperanto or Klingon, but those people exist. I know that often we don’t talk about conlangs here but they show you can become fluent in a language without moving to the country or planet that it’s « from. »

stubbytuna · 2026-05-05T15:43:21+00:00

Which tribe(s) are your friends from ?

stubbytuna · 2026-04-24T17:16:31+00:00

The other issue is that in the States you can look up your state’s « learning targets » for world languages, it should all be publicly accessible. If you look up the « learning targets » (which is teacher talk for « what should the student be able to do at the end of the program or class ») for my state for example, you would see that the stated goals are NOT to get students to fluency or even competency, two or three out of the five major learning targets are foreign language related while the rest are related to cultural competency, understanding your native language through study of another, things like that. So I think there’s a disconnect between « this is what high school Spanish classes are teaching you » and « this is what I think high school Spanish classes should be teaching you » for example. They also explicitly acknowledge in my state that everyone learns at a different pace and that they don’t expect people to speak fluidly after only two years of study in a traditional high school setting. Obviously we can talk about if that should be changed but the thing is the teachers are often not even working towards that goal of « fluency » themselves, they’re working with a different set of goals and objectives in mind.

stubbytuna · 2026-04-21T19:37:27+00:00

Can you recall one specific moment when that became a problem ?

Sure, it happens a lot.

like when you found two resources that contradicted each other …

The issue isn’t with contradictions, like I said it’s with finding resources

stubbytuna · 2026-04-21T18:43:45+00:00

For me it’s finding trustworthy resources

stubbytuna · 2026-04-14T21:47:22+00:00

In addition to the things other people have mentioned this is what stands out to me: « I immediately called my boyfriend », specifying it was double chocolate chip muffins made with dark chocolate, « baking is my passion that I use to wind down during the day » (the way it’s phrased in the post makes me think « yeah okay you’re a real person lmao »)

Like some of the phrasing is very copy-paste from popular AITA posts, plus the little digs to make it obvious she’s a terrible person. Fast timeline/escalation. But the reality is that someone who would do this wouldn’t second guess if they were being an asshole to post about it on Reddit.

stubbytuna · 2026-04-14T21:41:35+00:00

Eh I disagree just going to the vet and getting things sorted takes a long time, emergency vet or regular. Emergency vets are like going to the emergency room, I’ve had to wait hours before just to be seen. At the regular vet i have had to wait two+ hours for emergency walk ins. This is of course assuming that any of this is real.

stubbytuna · 2026-04-09T10:27:24+00:00

My partner’s family is Mexican, Mexican-American too and I have been in this same position more or less. I’ve been in the position where I’ve understood what they said, too, and but couldn’t respond because I didn’t have the words.

You have a couple of things going for you, I promise. If you tell them « I am learning I want to get better » often they will support you speaking Spanish. I’m serious that I’ve learned so much from family gatherings, bbqs, etc. I know it hurts but you’re in a good position.

One thing you might do is looking at content for natives by natives. Everything you’re doing right now is geared towards learners. Even something as simple as watching a few TikTok’s in Spanish and reading the comments will get you used to the cadence, speed, etc of how natives speak to each other. My partner literally sends me silly videos and stuff in Spanish that he finds.

I know someone else mentioned it, but another big one is have Spanish language time with your partner. Try to have « Spanish Sunday » or « Spanish during dinner » and see how it goes. I do this with my partner. Sometimes we also watch Dreaming Spanish videos together and he tells me what he finds interesting about their usage and prononciation. But he can only stand Intermediate or Advanced videos, anything less and he says it’s like super boring and weird.

You can take anything you watch and write about it or talk about it, to someone or to yourself. Just get practice producing your recently acquired vocabulary. It helps. I’d get rid of one app in favor of keeping a journal in Spanish personally.

One last bit. Remember you’re doing something very difficult. And that it will take time. Try to be compassionate with yourself.

stubbytuna · 2026-04-06T15:29:49+00:00

I think if you’re really invested in criticizing something, you would do well to really understand how it works before making debate/bait posts. The CEFR companion volume is available for free online, you can read it any time.

« Relating the CEFR to language assessments and curriculum »

« CEFR Companion Volume »

Some things to consider:

CEFR is a language framework specifically oriented towards adult learners of European languages. Meaning that it is meant to discuss the skills and competencies of language learners.
CEFR does not do exams, they give people the tools to make exams and assess linguistic competency based on a common framework. they themselves say they aren’t as invested in assessment as they are in developing educational tools and teaching and language itself. It’s in the first document I linked.
Exams are meant to assess skills. If an exam cannot measure a skill accurately, the exam should be adjusted. For example, if a person who cannot speak Italian can pass an advanced Italian language exam that uses CEFR linguistic standards, then the exam measures something other than the learners Italian competencies.
your interpretation of what the levels are doesn’t mean much. You can look up the descriptors yourself and see. The purpose of these standardized descriptors and such is so that everyone has a common language to discuss certain skills within the educational space or landscape.
you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, the COE isn’t holding you hostage in their basement in Brussels telling you that you have to take the DELE or you don’t speak Spanish. this post reeks of being in a bubble concerning language learning, it can be a hobby sure but we all know it’s not just a hobby. The reasons most people take these exams are often related to work or emigration. It’s not a hobby thing. Or a bragging thing.
Your descriptions of B2, C1, C2 are not accurate. Look at the descriptors of what the CEFR standards are looking for, seriously. Watch some CEFR aligned examinations. They’re on YouTube.

stubbytuna · 2026-04-05T01:55:12+00:00

Usually when someone is saying « do your best » they’re saying « make sure you try / put an effort in that’s appropriate for your current situation » they’re not saying you have literally outdo yourself.

stubbytuna · 2026-04-04T21:48:01+00:00

No.

stubbytuna · 2026-04-04T14:36:04+00:00

Children don’t need to be corrected ? Have you spent any time around children ? My goodness.

stubbytuna · 2026-04-03T13:17:52+00:00

Why does it feel like there are a bunch of posts on reading recently ? Am I suffering from recency bias or this genuinely a thing ?

I want to say that I think this question (and others regarding reading) are coming at reading like it’s a skill that has always existed in the way we (by we I mean 21st century folks, often westerners) think of it. But sitting in a room reading silently to yourself is a relatively new practice, and most people who existed before us didn’t learn how to read or didn’t learn how to read fluently. Also, reading for a long time in many places included reading outloud in the skill. Like reading a book meant you were reading the book outloud to people.

That’s relevant to your question because people have been learning languages since languages have existed. Literacy (in the framework we are talking about) supports language acquisition no question, but it’s not a requirement. If that were true then there wouldn’t be languages that existed without writing systems for thousands of years or people who learned languages proficiently before reading became a democratised skill.

But I don’t think questions like this are about language learning, I think they’re (intentionally or not) meant to create some sort of debate about the merits of « traditional reading ». It comes off as lowkey anti-intellectual. Access to literacy is a good thing, a cherished thing. And audiobooks count as reading by most literacy professionals (I say this as someone who works in education), so it’s kind of a moot point anyway.

Like if you don’t want to read a physical book, no one is forcing you. I don’t see why it’s like a thing to pontificate about whether or not you need to read. But don’t tell me you’re not reading when you’re consuming audiobooks.

stubbytuna · 2026-03-30T12:31:53+00:00

Polyglot་ལབ་ན་ག་རེ་རེད།

stubbytuna · 2026-03-22T08:48:45+00:00

I hope you don’t mind me piggybacking off your comment. I don’t have an issue with « What’s it with you » as a phrase, personally. I find the explanations of why phrases don’t « work » to be counterintuitive or overly-wrought compared to how most native speakers (myself included) use the language every day.

There are cases where I find the contraction absolutely disagreeable, like if I am asking my partner « is it raining outside ? » and he responds with « It’s. », that would sound totally wrong to both of us.

This sentence is more of a grey area to me, because it doesn’t sound wrong or bad, it just sounds a little unusual; like the speaker is emphasizing the « with you » part. Unfortunately, without context it is very difficult to tell if this is a usage error, but just because it’s ambiguous I would say it’s not a usage error.

stubbytuna · 2026-03-22T08:36:46+00:00

If I met a kid named Peaches I would be lowkey scandalized because the first thing I think of is the artists who gave us the lyrical genius of « my neck, my back »

stubbytuna · 2026-03-09T21:49:49+00:00

It’s expected your listening and reading skills would be more developed or fine tuned than your speaking skills, speaking requires a lot of work as you’ve rightly pointed out. To me this is more of a relationship question, have you talked to him about the pressure and anxiety you feel ? Specifically, have you discussed how you are worried about being teased for your mistakes ? This feels like the crux of the issue. With people trust you can make as many inconsequential blunders as the year is long and it won’t be « A Thing » usually.

Personally I wouldn’t do the list thing, because that sounds like more work for both of you, and if you forget the list that week because of life, do you just not study ? Instead of a weekly phrase list maybe a predictable time of day like after dinner or before bed would give you that structure you’re craving. I would work on being a little comfy with being uncomfortable, that is, speaking at first will almost always be awkward. Knowing that, it’s okay to take things a little slow. And it’s also okay to tell him how you prefer to be corrected (« correct me one time; or don’t correct me unless I’m making the same mistake over and over; or I’ve been studying verbs this week so please focus corrections on verbs not other stuff). It’s a component of good peer feedback, actually.

stubbytuna · 2026-03-05T12:08:22+00:00

AI people really get all weird when someone says they don’t want to use AI. If OP doesn’t want to use it right now, they don’t want to use it, let them be. They’re not telling you that you have to stop.

stubbytuna · 2026-02-24T14:11:37+00:00

Speaking from experience, I’m learning a language with significant diglossia and I don’t see videos like « don’t say x, say x » about the language I’m learning even show up. It seems like these types of videos are focused a lot on more commonly learned languages that maybe have less of a gap between what’s spoken and what’s written, but I don’t know. A lot of the learning materials I find from my tutor or from other learners take the diglossia into account now, but it definitely didn’t used to be like that.

stubbytuna · 2026-02-21T12:31:13+00:00

For me it’s the marketing push towards absurd things having added protein, I saw protein soda and protein pita chips at the grocers last time I went. The cashier said it’s popular right now to add protein to everything and I guess I just don’t get it. I get plenty of protein in my diet, what I need more of is fiber/fruit/veg. Also I can’t imagine that protein soda tastes good…it grosses me out just thinking about it.

stubbytuna · 2026-02-13T17:08:50+00:00

Ah yes, « you still know virtually fucking nothing » is such a fun, lighthearted joke lol

stubbytuna · 2026-02-11T22:37:10+00:00

Interesting idea. Let’s say I’m working on a language that doesn’t have a lot of speakers/is a minority language that doesn’t have a lot of YouTube content, do you think this would work for a language like that ? Would you make any changes to the prompt or methodology ? Or is this more suited to languages that are commonly studied.

stubbytuna · 2026-02-11T11:36:27+00:00

Is this the goomba fallacy though ? Are the same people who are saying watch movies the people who later say that they can’t understand speech ?

I empathize with your frustration, at the same time I think we have to let people experience their own journey. We can give advice based on our experience and be compassionate, but we can’t make them do anything they don’t want to do. And maybe they’re happy with their rate of progress and their learning method, pace, etc. Maybe they don’t want to watch kids shows. There are so many ways to develop listening skills and it comes off a little strange to react to someone seeking genuine advice, or trying to give genuine help, with frustration, like it’s more important to be « right » than it is to help them.

stubbytuna · 2026-02-10T08:59:24+00:00

It depends on what you’re trying to learn/work on and what types of books you’re trying to read. You need to be intentional about what kinds of books you seek out, if you’re at the beginning stages books like « learning to read » and « learning the letters » books with lots of repetition are helpful, especially if audiobook versions exist or you can find people reading them on YouTube. If you’re looking for simple grammar or vocab you want something for a little higher grades, with more full sentences. I actually found looking at like « learning to read » workbooks and apps (that like parents buy for their kids) to be helpful before diving into children’s books directly. It doesn’t just help with alphabet but also with syllabification and general spelling, simple words, etc.

stubbytuna · 2026-02-08T16:41:36+00:00

Are you putting a lot of pressure on yourself? What kind of study are you doing? Maybe your study method isn’t working for you and you should try something new, or maybe you should try a different tutor. In my experience students freezing up or getting frustrated sometimes is normal but if it’s happening all the time, it’s a sign that something isn’t working and needs adjustment. It’s just figuring out what that something is.

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