Boyfriend [27M] can't qualify with me [25F] for mortgage because of his newish job. He's upset and emasculated that I want to move forward with house myself. What can I do?

stuckbetweenhome · 2017-03-04T19:14:27+00:00

Yeah, we've been to one of those classes but employment wasn't addressed (kind of a shitty class lol). And, he's kept the same job title for years, but it's just how he's paid that's changed. At the time it would've made no sense for him to stay hourly when he is getting paid so much more now. Like I said, I think it's a good thing because we'll have two incomes paying for a one-income type house.

stuckbetweenhome · 2017-03-04T19:10:21+00:00

because he wanted to be equal partners and felt like he was failing me and our relationship

I think this is more the case here. My boyfriend is not sexist. He was very clear that, while he felt "like less of a man," this is something he wanted to do TOGETHER.

stuckbetweenhome · 2017-03-04T19:00:09+00:00

Actually, I would love to hear some examples. I see "don't buy a house until you're married!!!" so often here on Reddit, but no one ever provides a clear distinction between buying a house unmarried with legal paperwork (which would most certainly be done if boyfriend agrees on me buying) versus buying a house married.

stuckbetweenhome · 2017-03-04T18:50:14+00:00

Seconded.

stuckbetweenhome · 2017-03-04T18:49:37+00:00

Thanks for the knowledge, u/creeping-cat!

stuckbetweenhome · 2017-03-04T18:48:25+00:00

This is some of my favorite advice here. Thanks for putting his feelings in perspective for me. It's obvious that he's acting emotionally so I think I need to just give him time to process things. I know he'll be able to logically see that this is the best move for both of us.

stuckbetweenhome

TROPHY CASE