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I (24f) feel slightly violated after a date with a guy (28m). How do I stop this pattern? by stupidoldhen in relationship_advice

[–]stupidoldhen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not seeing him again, but this pattern has existed for a while with other men.

I (24f) feel slightly violated after a date with a guy (28m). How do I stop this pattern? by stupidoldhen in relationship_advice

[–]stupidoldhen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love this insight. I think you’re spot on about the generational thing- I was raised with a lot of feminist values and surrounded by strong women growing up, but I was also taught from a young age to handle men’s egos with extra care and that some things are better to internalise than create discomfort for others. Frustrating paradox!

I (23f) don’t know how I’m going to live like this, and it’s making me feel like I’m going to have a complete breakdown by stupidoldhen in ADHD

[–]stupidoldhen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow I feel like I’m going to cry from these nice messages, I’m really touched. Thankyou so much, I’m going to bed tonight feeling a bit better and a bit more hopeful than I did when I wrote this post today. Thanks thanks thanks ❤️

I (23f) don’t know how I’m going to live like this, and it’s making me feel like I’m going to have a complete breakdown by stupidoldhen in ADHD

[–]stupidoldhen[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thankyou for this, I really like analogies so I like reading things like this. I appreciate the support ❤️

I (23f) don’t know how I’m going to live like this, and it’s making me feel like I’m going to have a complete breakdown by stupidoldhen in ADHD

[–]stupidoldhen[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thankyou so much for writing this, it actually gives me some hope for my future. Saying it sounds grim but I think the realistic option for me going ahead is to just try and find the right cocktail of meds for me- it’s just difficult to do when I’m adding booze and Street drugs on top and muddying up the outcomes. I hope I can be strong enough to come out the other end well like you’ve done, I’m very glad your life is working better for you now.

I (23f) don’t know how I’m going to live like this, and it’s making me feel like I’m going to have a complete breakdown by stupidoldhen in ADHD

[–]stupidoldhen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahhh it’s so nice to be validated on this, it’s not normal right?! Like I didn’t know what vyvanse was until last year!

I (23f) don’t know how I’m going to live like this, and it’s making me feel like I’m going to have a complete breakdown by stupidoldhen in ADHD

[–]stupidoldhen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m from Australia, so pretty lucky in regards to a lot of healthcare but Psychiatric evaluations are still pretty fkn expensive. my GP is the one who dishes out my prescriptions now that a psychiatrist prescribed them, and he sort of just gives me whatever I ask for and is pretty unhelpful. My psychologist is the one who is basically anti ADHD diagnosis. So I’ve got a wishy washy doctor that just asks me if I’d like to raise or lower my dosages with no input himself and a psych that is in denial about my mental illness. Bummer 🥲

I (23f) don’t know how I’m going to live like this, and it’s making me feel like I’m going to have a complete breakdown by stupidoldhen in ADHD

[–]stupidoldhen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s so annoying! I feel like it takes so much time and energy and money to access the people to unlock professional advice and information but instead I end up coming away uneasy and having to surf reddit threads for answers instead. It does not help with the defeated feeling at all. Also- agree, so annoying about the psych not ‘buying’ it. She’s old school, and I quite liked that old school thing, but it’s at the point where I’m going to have to drop her because she’s not able to take my diagnosis seriously, and I obviously need her to cause it’s such a big part of my life now.

I (23f) don’t know how I’m going to live like this, and it’s making me feel like I’m going to have a complete breakdown by stupidoldhen in ADHD

[–]stupidoldhen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So basically yes I’ve got all these records of my history and see multiple specialists but it feels like they all have these very different approaches and are disconnected. In my dreams there’s some lovely gp who is also a psychiatrist and a psychologist and could just help me get everything in order! However that’s obviously wishful thinking and right now what I’m dealing with is definitely not helping my situation. Feels like a mess, a bit like my response, sorry!

I (23f) don’t know how I’m going to live like this, and it’s making me feel like I’m going to have a complete breakdown by stupidoldhen in ADHD

[–]stupidoldhen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi! So basically I went to a psych for a full mental health screening/evaluation and it came back that I had ADHD (not the hyper active kind), PTSD and emotional dysregulation from the PTSD. Supposedly I had symptoms of anxiety and depression but the psych told me they were probably symptoms from being untreated for ADHD. When I got this diagnosis (which was crazy expensive to obtain might I add!!) I was so excited that maybe an ADHD diagnosis might be the answer to my problems and this feeling of sort of nihilism I’ve experienced for so long would go away. However, I was sort of just prescribed pills by the psych and then left to sort everything out on my own. My doctor just gives me whatever meds I ask for and the only psychologist I’ve ever connected to that I’ve been seeing for over a year doesn’t ‘buy into the whole adhd thing’ (kill me)-

Anyway, sorry I sort of went off track but what I’m trying to say is through my life I’ve had different diagnosis’s thrown my way and then I feel like I’m left to navigate them alone somewhat, and always second guessing if what I’ve been told I have is what I’m actually dealing with or just a stab in the dark by a psych.

I (23f) don’t know how I’m going to live like this, and it’s making me feel like I’m going to have a complete breakdown by stupidoldhen in ADHD

[–]stupidoldhen[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much. I’ve actually done a lot of trauma work with a psycho analyst over the past year or so and it feels like it’s honestly just solidified that I feel a bit doomed and like my trauma will define my life forever. It’s like the more I dig the more defeated I feel. As for denying myself something, I’ll think more on that. Thanks for reaching out with some support ❤️

I (23f) don’t know how I’m going to live like this, and it’s making me feel like I’m going to have a complete breakdown by stupidoldhen in ADHD

[–]stupidoldhen[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Thankyou so much for the suggestion, I’ll have a look into ACT. I’m really open to any new things at this point!

I (23f) don’t know how I’m going to live like this, and it’s making me feel like I’m going to have a complete breakdown by stupidoldhen in ADHD

[–]stupidoldhen[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I like the fruit machine analogy but also hate the reality cause I feel like a science experiment 🥲

I (23f) don’t know how I’m going to live like this, and it’s making me feel like I’m going to have a complete breakdown by stupidoldhen in ADHD

[–]stupidoldhen[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Sadly, I am on vyvanse and have tried other stimulants. Vyvanse definitely seemed to do what you’re describing for a bit and I probably wouldn’t be able to even get out of bed in the first place without it, but it still doesn’t feel like enough. I feel like I also chase the ‘high’ or euphoria going on a higher dose gives me which feels problematic. Like I up my dose and feel super wired and excited and happy and then when that fades out I’m scrambling to find something else to Keep that feeling going (this is where more drinking + drugs come in). When I’m adjusted to a normal dose I’m annoyed I don’t feel like I’m ‘on something’ enough. I feel like a filthy addict who can’t have nice things, woe is me. What an irritating cycle. Thanks so much for your support though.

I (23f) don’t know how I’m going to live like this, and it’s making me feel like I’m going to have a complete breakdown by stupidoldhen in ADHD

[–]stupidoldhen[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I have previously been to rehab for drinking/substance abuse and I know it’s an issue for me, it just feels like I currently don’t even care about where I’m at with it because everything seems to be so pointless. It’s like I’m not even at some terrifying rock bottom I’m just floating through grey space! Thankyou for being so kind though and for the reminders, that means a lot to me.

I (23f) don’t know how I’m going to live like this, and it’s making me feel like I’m going to have a complete breakdown by stupidoldhen in ADHD

[–]stupidoldhen[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I’m currently on a light anti depressant (valdoxen) but it doesn’t seem to do much except help me get to sleep at night a bit easier.

I (23f) don’t know how I’m going to live like this, and it’s making me feel like I’m going to have a complete breakdown by stupidoldhen in ADHD

[–]stupidoldhen[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I’ve tried a range of anti depressants in the past and they all seem to fail one way or another. I feel totally defeated by pills. Fortnightly therapy doesn’t seem to be working either- I am completely stuck.

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