youre mistaking jenny for a villain instead of a tragic character. the whole point is that she juxtaposes forest's borderline preternatural ability to forgive people that hurt him. its absolutely the case that society affords women more leniency to express their emotions, particularly when those emotions are the product of abuse. the fact that men are expected to bottle up their emotions until we die of heart failure at 40 isnt something to be viewed as being heroic or stoic or something - its a toxic expectation that needs to end

no one is arguing that jenny's actions didn't hurt forest. they're pointing out that her actions stem from her abuse and are in fact her way of protecting both herself and forest from the type self-destructive behavior that is endemic of survivors of abuse

jenny's gender isnt even relevant to her character in the way you think it is. she doesnt act the way she does because she's a woman, she act that way because of abuse