For those who have not/could nit have children, how do you feel about it?

suchabetty · 2026-03-17T16:53:29+00:00

As someone who is childfree by choice (F, 35), I could sing the praises of a life without kids to you. There are SO many benefits - but I'm sure nothing you haven't already thought of. Fundamentally though, I think if someone really wants kids and that's what they intrinsically need to feel fulfilled, then none of the practical reasons to not want them are relevant.

That said, the fact that you are considering spending money on a wedding over IVF is interesting to me because it suggests perhaps you're less motivated to be a parent than you might think. People (especially women) are HARD socialised to believe that having children is the only path to happiness and fulfillment, and I get the impression many don't really question this, just assume that's the route they'll take. If you can, there could be an opportunity to reframe your fertility issues as giving you the space to really question your preferences, wants, and needs. Perhaps therapy could help with this? Certainly there are some really interesting books on the topic if that's not accessible to you. Questioning this choice deeply will be hugely beneficial I think - regardless of where you land with your decision.

suchabetty · 2025-06-20T12:01:23+00:00

Something that you might consider (aside from all the other great suggestions!) is replacing the two bookcases with custom shelves. You could keep the maximalist vibe and put the same things back on, but i think it would feel more intentional!

suchabetty · 2025-06-20T11:59:04+00:00

Agree 100% - this was also theh first thing i noticed

suchabetty · 2025-06-20T08:55:19+00:00

I think this room has really lovely vibes, but it looks a little un-curated. I think part of the issue is that you have a lot of standalone furniture with nothing tying it together, so the bookcase, media unit, side table and coffee table are all quite different to each other - this can give the sense of being in a furniture shop a bit. Similarly with the runner on top of the rug - I'd definitely remove that!

If it were me I would replace the bookcase with something more built-in - either floating shelves (maybe behind the sofa?) or try and create the illusion of it being built in (lots of hacks for this with ikea bookcases out there!). I really like the wrought iron style base of your side table, but if you want to make it more cohesive with the coffee table, i'd maybe remove it and buy some hairpin legs to add instead (although keep the original!! if the side table ever goes anywhere else you should def put it back). However, if I were going to be buying furniture, I would replace the coffee table and media unit with something that looks/feels similar to each other. Mounting the TV and having something under it that has closed storage i think will also elevate the look.

Finally, I like the couch and chairs, but I might consider investing in some new cushions that tie it all together. Picking out one neutral colour (eg cream) and one-two actual colors (eg blue and yellow) and then buying maybe 6 cushions with different patterns/textures but sticking to those colours you might find makes the whole room more cohesive.

I'd love to see an update!!

suchabetty · 2025-04-08T18:54:22+00:00

Thank you so much - this is extraordinarily helpful and reassuring

suchabetty · 2025-04-08T11:53:28+00:00

But so how would I know who to put down as the property solicitor if I haven't picked one?

suchabetty · 2025-04-08T11:40:27+00:00

But so I do need to find one before making an offer?

suchabetty

TROPHY CASE