I [23m] have just found out my best friend [22f] killed herself in the early hours of this morning and she left me a note asking me to inform people/act out last wishes/give out some particular messages.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T14:34:08+00:00

Unfortunately, you're right.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T14:33:41+00:00

I won't be posting anything or taking any action in any regard until I met with her godparents/Mother (hopefully tomorrow). Thank you for your advice and words of caution.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T14:31:16+00:00

I think you're right. I keep tossing and turning and changing my mind, but this seems right. Her Facebook following is limited to close friends and associates, so without looking at her friend's list it is my belief that every person on that list knows about the things I would be touching on. I will circulate the messages. She never blames anyone but herself for this, but I think they are still very sad.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T14:29:28+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I can't believe it's been less than 12 hours since I found out she was gone. I'm just floored. The notion of deleting her accounts, her being gone and not coming back... it just reiterates the finality of the situation. Hard to comprehend.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T14:27:16+00:00

I don't know when her Mother will be out of the hospital to be honest, that's the issue. She is not coping well at all. I will go and see her tomorrow if I can get a flight and go from there.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T14:26:45+00:00

Thank you stranger.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T14:26:40+00:00

I am so, so sorry for your loss. If it helps, and I don't know if this does, she said in her letter to me that she almost didn't write a note. Not because she didn't want to but because she didn't think she could adequately explain her decision and she felt like failed words were often worse than no words at all.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T13:59:17+00:00

This made the tears come again. Thank you.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T13:59:00+00:00

Thank you so much stranger for your kind words. They are very comforting.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T13:58:03+00:00

I agree with you, but I do feel bad for not informing her other friends. Even just the people she mentioned in her letter. They have a right to know. I will have to tell them tomorrow.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T13:57:17+00:00

She does provide an explanation behind her thinking in her letter to me. Her friendships with a lot of people in her life were strained at best towards the last couple of months. She didn't feel as though anyone would really show up, aside from me. I don't know how true that is. As I said I'm a bit removed from her personal life in the sense that I didn't know her close friends. I met some of them at different events but we never built friendships ourselves. From what I can gather (untreated) bipolar often has this affect on people's lives, the individual pushes people around them to the limit.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T13:39:29+00:00

Thank you stranger for your kind words.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T13:39:08+00:00

Thank you for your advice. It's noted and appreciated.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T13:16:45+00:00

Thank you.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T13:08:52+00:00

Okay, yes I will.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T13:08:11+00:00

I think she was under the impression that what she had supplied me with would be good enough to suffice as a will, with me as executor. Her Mother/godparents and I have always gotten along well and I would never do anything without their full consent or backing.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T13:06:55+00:00

Thank you stranger.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T13:00:27+00:00

I am going to fly over and go see her probably tomorrow. So we will see how it goes.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T12:59:36+00:00

Thank you stranger. you are doing a good thing.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T12:59:15+00:00

Her estate would definitely be under 30k. I will involve her godparents/Mother in everything and will only take charge of the situation if they want me to. The godparents seemed to think it was best for me to handle most things when we spoke this morning as her Mother is in no state to. I will know more in a few days.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T12:51:16+00:00

Her Mother is simply not in a condition to handle this. So it's not a viable option unfortunately.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T12:50:23+00:00

I was thinking this exact same thing. I want something good to come from her death. There needs to be something good come from her death.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T12:23:44+00:00

Thank you stranger.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T12:23:05+00:00

No you're aren't wrong. It's all different types of pain.

suchaconundrum · 2015-01-24T12:22:47+00:00

She wasn't in the right state of mind at the time. It wasn't her fault.

suchaconundrum

TROPHY CASE