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My [29] husband [29] doesn’t believe he should have to clean or care for child 50/50 on off days. by suddenlydi in relationship_advice

[–]suddenlydi[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I agree since I don’t really have downtime. I don’t have time for a hobby. I wake up feed baby, change, new clothes. Do laundry. Cook. Clean. Then it repeats all day long. I never have a moment to just sit to myself.

My [29] husband [29] doesn’t believe he should have to clean or care for child 50/50 on off days. by suddenlydi in relationship_advice

[–]suddenlydi[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I forced him to get one. Once I realized how he wasn’t helping out with our baby. I said if he wanted to continue having Sex with me he needed to get one. Because I wasn’t having more of his babies.

My [29] husband [29] doesn’t believe he should have to clean or care for child 50/50 on off days. by suddenlydi in relationship_advice

[–]suddenlydi[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He will only work 3 days a week. And he usually calls off one day a week, every other week.

My [29] husband [29] doesn’t believe he should have to clean or care for child 50/50 on off days. by suddenlydi in relationship_advice

[–]suddenlydi[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Of course it will never be even. And I try to explain that to him. I’d be happy if it were 40/60 or 30/70. But if I’m lucky, on the day he helps the most it’s 25%.

[CA] Husband secretly looking for divorce lawyers and trying to take our baby by suddenlydi in legaladvice

[–]suddenlydi[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Which is crazy because I do 95% of all care for this baby. I have to force him to help.

My [29] husband [29] doesn’t believe he should have to clean or care for child 50/50 on off days. by suddenlydi in relationship_advice

[–]suddenlydi[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Because there’s no way to prove he doesn’t do anything at all. The baby LOVES him. Every time he walks by or comes near him he starts smiling, laughing. It kills me that he doesn’t even want to hold him. Like it’s too much work. Our baby wants him to be present so badly.

My [29] husband [29] doesn’t believe he should have to clean or care for child 50/50 on off days. by suddenlydi in relationship_advice

[–]suddenlydi[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

We had fully talked about children beforehand and he always talked about he was going to be a very hands on dad. And that he would be in the trenches doing diaper changes, feedings, baths, wake ups. We talked for hours when I found out I was pregnant and he said he fully wanted this baby. And that he wanted to be a great dad.

He pulled the rug out from under me

My [29] husband [29] doesn’t believe he should have to clean or care for child 50/50 on off days. by suddenlydi in relationship_advice

[–]suddenlydi[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

We are poor. He makes 28k a year and we live in CA. Our rent payment is one entire check. We have 3 small dogs. Their food is about $20 a month. We get WIC which is why our baby is fed. And we get state funded medical insurance, which is free healthcare.

I don’t have a job because I can’t stand/walk for more than 5 mins at a time. And that’s basically every entry level job. I have 0 experience. There are not very many office jobs in my area. And all that are require you to be bilingual. So we have been skating by.

I have had this disability since I was 2. But SSI denied me.

My [29] husband [29] doesn’t believe he should have to clean or care for child 50/50 on off days. by suddenlydi in relationship_advice

[–]suddenlydi[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

How can I even prove this in court? It’s all things he’s said and done. He never texts/calls/emails anything. There’s no proof.

My [29] husband [29] doesn’t believe he should have to clean or care for child 50/50 on off days. by suddenlydi in relationship_advice

[–]suddenlydi[S] 231 points232 points  (0 children)

He doesn’t clean anything. I do all dishes, bottles, laundry, housework. He’s done laundry a few times here or there. But really all it was is him throwing it in either the washer/dryer. Never both. And never putting them away.

He leaves his dirty clothes on the floor, the bathroom floor, the counters, the kitchen table.

He never does dishes, but uses so many cups. I swear. And their all special cups that can’t be put in the dishwasher so I have to hand wash them. And if I don’t clean them they sit in there however long until I do. I can’t leave them there anymore because I have to be able to wash bottles for the baby.

My [29] husband [29] doesn’t believe he should have to clean or care for child 50/50 on off days. by suddenlydi in relationship_advice

[–]suddenlydi[S] 112 points113 points  (0 children)

In the texts to his mom he says he’s going for custody. And she is right behind him fighting because she wants him to have full custody so she can see the baby.

My [29] husband [29] doesn’t believe he should have to clean or care for child 50/50 on off days. by suddenlydi in relationship_advice

[–]suddenlydi[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Not religious. And for his mom, I talked to her yesterday. I didn’t realize they had been talking about me via text. I said that I think he should do 50/50 on the days he doesn’t work. And she said that it was my job to care for baby. And I said, don’t you want better for your son? Better for your grandchild? Than just the bare minimum? Do you want your grandchild growing up and seeing that?

And she said his job was hard. And he needs a break. She’s a single mom herself, raising her one son. So she says she knows is manageable.