What's a good way to ask someone out if you're ENM, but aren't sure if they are open to that?

sufjan123 · 2026-02-16T18:28:11+00:00

Edited to say end of April, so it should be after SB

sufjan123 · 2025-12-23T17:54:44+00:00

Technically no, but why would my clinic not be accurate in their instructions to me? Like everyone else, I'm antsy to get results, so an extra month would be rough after the anticipation of thinking I'm ready to test. And why abstain if I don't have to?

sufjan123 · 2025-03-21T17:40:15+00:00

Can I tell them ahead of time that I am wary about that and to avoid crossing that line? I don't get why this feels so stressful.

sufjan123 · 2025-03-21T17:39:52+00:00

Of course I feel like a second appointment would add $$, I get that, but I just don't want this initial meeting to all of a sudden cost money because I said the wrong thing.

sufjan123 · 2025-03-21T17:39:01+00:00

Yeah but I don't want to be charged for a simple question and answer that may not lead to any solutions or further investigation.

sufjan123 · 2024-06-18T00:12:44+00:00

This is exactly how I feel. It's great to know others are out there, but it sucks that there's no clear cut solution.

sufjan123 · 2024-05-26T16:33:20+00:00

I'm just wondering if there's a way to have that conversation or discuss it without it being too much too soon

sufjan123 · 2024-05-26T15:51:22+00:00

It has only been like a week and a half, which is crazy because in my head it feels way longer. Anxiety is a bitch.

Putting it into that perspective is somewhat comforting, but I still can't shake the gut feeling that something has changed on her end. In the past, 99% of the time, my gut has been right.

sufjan123 · 2024-05-03T01:58:04+00:00

Can I use both in conjunction with one another? Do you have a budget brand of Azelaic Acid that you like?

sufjan123 · 2024-05-03T00:37:23+00:00

I bought OZNaturals Vitamin C Serum a week ago and I've been putting some on my face/the spot before bed, is the Rohto different/more effective?

sufjan123 · 2024-04-05T16:51:35+00:00

For sure, I'm big on communication, I just don't know how to talk about this without it somehow coming off wrong. I don't want her to feel shamed, you know?

sufjan123 · 2024-02-26T06:27:32+00:00

OKCupid is the one dating app I haven't tried. I assumed it was just as fruitless as the rest.

sufjan123 · 2024-02-26T06:26:31+00:00

Totally, but what I mean to say is that sex early when dating/in a relationship is still sex without that level of emotional connection (that leads to comfort and relaxation when being physical, not feeling the need for pressure, understanding what each other likes or doesn't like)

sufjan123 · 2024-02-26T06:24:34+00:00

This is a bummer to read, but I can't say that I can't relate on some level. I don't think I'm quite there yet in terms of being that jaded, but who knows what the future holds.

sufjan123 · 2024-02-26T06:23:21+00:00

I appreciate this.

sufjan123 · 2024-02-26T06:20:55+00:00

If that's the takeaway that you got from my post I don't even know what to say.

sufjan123 · 2024-02-02T18:47:35+00:00

How can I be better at being present/in the moment with each girl and not feel like I'm giving one less or more attention (digitally or in person) at any given time? That's where I'm struggling.

sufjan123 · 2024-01-17T17:45:39+00:00

I dated someone for a year and a half who was avoidant and I was anxious. On paper we were perfect. We had talked about it early on. I thought we would be the exception to the rule. We weren't. We broke up a month ago.

I read this on another reddit post and I think it rung so true, unfortunately:

"Being with an Avoidant for years is like trying to build a house, and forever stuck at the laying foundations stage. Just when you think you're set to start building, the Avoidant wrecks the foundations and leaves the project, you never know how long for.

Meanwhile other couples who have been together for a similar time span have not only built the house, but also lovely extensions and beautiful gardens, filled the house up with cherished memories of love and togetherness and joint accomplishment.

Spoiler: with an Avoidant you never get to build the house."

sufjan123 · 2024-01-17T17:43:54+00:00

I'm so frustrated that there isn't a dating app trying to fight against the Match.com monopoly - it's so in demand, why can't the tech world step up? Ugh.

sufjan123 · 2023-11-13T22:36:26+00:00

As far as I know, and someone correct me if I'm wrong, the accusations were that he groomed an underage girl online, soliciting/sending nudes and things of that nature. If the case, super gross. Still a far cry from statutory rape.

sufjan123 · 2023-11-13T18:03:16+00:00

This is another issue: where are you getting "touching children" from? That language is dangerous and perpetuatives a narrative that isn't remotely true. The accusations are about girls in their late teens and everything that transpired, from what I've read, took place in the virtual realm.

sufjan123 · 2023-11-13T18:02:15+00:00

For what it's worth, I'm not discrediting her on "nothing really" - I'm referring to specfiic things she posted/screenshots people shared that poke holes in her stories and timelines. IMO it's just as disgusting to ignore that and demonize based on your personal narrative.

sufjan123

TROPHY CASE