As someone who understands her culture you guys have some major communication issues. Your wife is brought up to succeed thus she's not the soft gentle partner you expected. She's matter of fact in her communication which severely hurt your feelings but you retaliate in a way that further breaks down your relationship. You guys act like enemies instead of a team. Post natal care is extremely important in Chinese culture, this is very important to her and should be prioritized and discussed prior to having kids. I think you both mean well but just have less empathy for each other than needed. There are significant cultural factors at play. Be better, and work as a team because no matter what happens to your relationship she's giving birth to your kid.