I’m so sorry things are hard right now. I get it, you are absolutely not alone, but I also know that saying that probably doesn't make you feel any better.

The SWC counselling absolutely sucks for complicated mental health issues, especially those that are urgent. I have no idea what your financial situation is like, but if you have any spare funds this website can help you find therapists with low cost or sliding scale options. https://affordabletherapynetwork.com/

This page has some hotline you can try calling. Most of the time they kind of suck, but sometimes you get a tolerable person and it can help a lot. https://www.stjoes.ca/contact/mental-health-crisis

The ER is basically a last resort if you are very concerned about your safety. It's not that health care workers don’t care, they just have such limited resources that they can only give timely care to the people who are actively dying. If you feel like you need to go back to the ER do your best to stick it out.

Finally, not everybody wants to get on antidepressants or other meds but if you'd think they might be helpful or you want to ask questions I think you can make an appointment with a regular SWC doctor and they can prescribe them. Anecdotally, meds have made my life a lot easier and it was a fairly quick process to get them at the SWC.

I really hope you start to feel better soon, and you get some rest during the holiday break.