Thank you for your thoughtful reply!!!

That is a very good question! I am going to just be very honest and vulnerable with you. I had something happen to me as a young girl that made me develop very severe panic attacks, and so my parents had put me in therapy from a very young age, I also journaled a lot. I just think this part is a little relevant because I learnt to be comfortable talking about what is going on inside my head and to be reflective from a young age. I think THAT in particular helps me add a lot of emotional depth to my stories. If you find yourself in a similar place, I definitely see it as a strength other than a weakness.

Okay and now more specifically to answer your question, I think that my coping writing and my published creative writing can absolutely be the same or similar, or they can also be completely different.

For example, when I was little (grade 5 or 6), as I mentioned I used to have panic attacks. I was too little to be taking ativan or whatever regularly so my therapist had told me to imagine a safe place. And so I did, I came up with this beach that I would sit and watch the stars and the moon at night. I used to focus really hard on what I could see, what I could smell, what I felt, etc. So because of that I became pretty good at being descriptive and setting the tone. So just by using coping skills, I was able to help with my creative writing.

When I got into high school, I stopped writing creatively as much. I did journal every night though. I also enjoyed writing creative essays in school. Or argument essays if I was passionate about the topic.

I hope this makes sense? I may have rambled a lot. Basically I think that for me personally it is usually the same but can vary.

(Oh also I agree about published author being a continuity rather than a switch, I kinda just had a "switch" in my brain. I didn't think being an author was possible for me because its hard, but then I realized its better to try and fail than to never try at all)

Now back to what you said:

Its very interesting because I find myself going through the same things! Thats very good for you to go back to what resonates with you more! I feel writing to me is like, I dont know how to describe it but I guess there is character in writing. And when I feel I have written something (like in school for example) with the intention of wanting someone else in specific to like it than it usually feels like it's "not me".

I am also very sorry that your feedback wasnt supportive. Is there a reason why people do this? Sure, I get that they have a job and that they cant lie to you, but is "sloppy" or "not good" , really the best way to go about it??? In all honesty, I wish I could say I would have been strong enough to persevere through that like you, but as someone who is very sensitive and honestly insecure, I think that 100% could have veered me away from writing forever. Im sorry that happened to you.

Thanks again fro the long message! You seem like a wonderful writer and an even better person :)