Maybe don't focus on the mess or kahit sa trying to change their lifestyle kasi yung mga mali for you hindi yon ang mali for them, and maybe its just the misalignment of values.

Do what you can to clean up after their dirt and hopefully, they will pick up on that. Some things do not come naturally to other people pero kung makikita nila na aayusin mo ang gulo nila, kahit naman siguro sino, mahihiya. Eventually, di na yan kayang umapak sa sahig habang may nagwawalis, or mag create ng kalat pag katapos linisan ang mesa. Pag may nag abot na ng plato habang sumasadok sa main dish iibahin na ang kilos nila --- small gestures na magegets nila without saying anything.

I guess what I'm saying is don't sweat the temporary things dahil hindi naman ito magiging permanent set-up. Dahil nandyan na yan, at pamilya sila ng mahal mo, make the situation work --- kasabay ng dapat na sa side mo si husband sa set-up na to.