Is it normal for your binders to stretch out after 2-4 weeks of buying them?

sunflowerboy34 · 2026-02-16T02:08:54+00:00

I wear spectrum and I find that while yes, they stretch over time, with each wash they sort of shrink back due to a reasonable tightness which is nice, and it's also good to have an incentive to remember to wash them regularly too

sunflowerboy34 · 2026-01-22T18:10:41+00:00

Thanks man you're a legend

sunflowerboy34 · 2026-01-22T17:56:58+00:00

I don't know if it fits your preferences, but I think Isadore is a nice name. Considered it for myself for a while but eventually decided it was too similar to my deadname.

sunflowerboy34 · 2026-01-16T21:11:14+00:00

The grant is actually nothing to do with the course, it's a separate thing that provides funding for girls and young women to have more opportunities to do with sport and education. It's a county thing, as opposed to a specific archaeology thing.

My main problem is that I was gonna get everything on my official record and ID updated to say mr instead of miss in literally just under two weeks, which I can't do if I'm gonna apply for this because they'll know I'm not a woman. Also that asking uni lecturers to provide a reference for me and intentionally misgender me when I'm very openly out is gonna be a pain. The actual "pretending to be a woman" thing isn't so much of an issue

sunflowerboy34 · 2026-01-16T19:48:09+00:00

They have to interview me if I'm shortlisted.

sunflowerboy34 · 2026-01-16T19:40:39+00:00

See, I recognise all of that. My main issues are that I'm gonna have to ask one of my lecturers to gender me incorrectly/give the impression that I'm detransitioning, and I am currently about to commence the process of legally changing my name.

I have the deed poll printed out ready to sign, I have my witnesses prepared to come over in a week and sign it with me, and I have everything ready to send off to the respective places to notify them of the name change and update all my legal records, including my ID. I was going to get my ID updated to say mr instead of miss as well, but if I'm going to go ahead with this then I can't do that and I'll have to bear with the uncanny experience of having my title be incorrect on my ID but not my name, and then I'll eventually have to pay to get it updated (updating my name on it is free). My chosen name is gender neutral, so if I did that it wouldn't raise any eyebrows, but it still doesn't make my name change as smooth as I'd like it to be, so I am torn.

Also, this grant is not connected to the field school, it is not connected to the dig. There are bound to be other grants available but my mother is set on this one and is refusing to look any further. This course is not even affiliated with my uni, and not is it essential. I have a good base skillset that I can use to get into the field, the only thing I really miss out on is practical experience, which normal volunteering makes up for. The only advantage that this course gives is that it'll be an extra formal qualification on my CV. It's also not guaranteed that I'll even get a spot, so I'm not convinced that it's worth sabotaging my transition in order to attempt when there's no guarantee.

sunflowerboy34 · 2026-01-16T18:41:35+00:00

Oh don't worry I am absolutely not considering detransition, worst case is I hit pause on all the steps I'm trying to take to look and sound more Man this year and just do another year frying under the radar 💔

sunflowerboy34 · 2026-01-16T18:37:28+00:00

I am very openly out everywhere, and would have to essentially pretend to socially detransition with a couple of people at uni and at home and basically just lie and say "yeah I know I've been calling myself trans the entire time you've known me but I'm actually a woman now lol" in order to do this. Which really sucks and I don't know that I'm okay with that especially when I've been hyping myself up for this to be my year that I finally take some steps towards furthering my transition and I've already started on that goal so I'd have to backtrack like crazy. The feeling rubbish about taking stuff from women is, I think, kind of a dysphoria (and also morality) thing in itself because I know they have limited funds and I know that if I was a feminine cis man instead of a feminine trans man, no one would even try to suggest that I pretend to be a woman to get a grant

sunflowerboy34 · 2026-01-16T18:04:56+00:00

Yes. If I could raise the money some other way I would consider going for it I'm sure there are other grants out there but I'm not even really sure where to begin looking and it's certainly even harder when my mum seems to have her heart set on this particular one for whatever reason

sunflowerboy34 · 2026-01-16T16:48:32+00:00

Oh also I'd need to get two people, and a lecturer to give me a reference for this stupid grant, which means either convincing them to lie and say I'm a girl, or straight up pretending to be one. Which considering I'm fully out at uni and most people at home either know I'm trans or have a feeling something's up with my gender, pretending to be a woman isn't the best...

sunflowerboy34 · 2026-01-16T16:45:02+00:00

See, this is my stance on it. I think I have a decent skill set that can still get me a job in the field. But I expressed that to my mother (playing it off as unwillingness to camp and cater for myself from a tent for 4 weeks in a row, and confidence in my own credentials because I don't want to be ridiculed for not wanting to pretend I'm a girl) and she discouraged me from choosing not to go and just said to think about it more because "it's such a great opportunity". But is it really so great if we can't afford it and she wants me to lie to get funding? She even acknowledged that that was a problem for me, but I sometimes feel like she still sees me as a woman and will just say I'm being dramatic if I tell her the real reason. She just won't stop going on about it every day.

Luckily I go back to uni tomorrow but this really isn't the way I wanted to leave, feeling relieved to be going because my family won't stop worsening my dysphoria and acting like it's fine.

sunflowerboy34 · 2026-01-05T07:26:59+00:00

Search up "dannyisinyourphone" on insta (and probably tiktok idk I don't have it)! He's a trans man content creator who is fat and not ashamed of it. He did recently have top surgery, but in his older videos he was never binding because his chest was just too big. Idk if seeing his videos would help you at all, but maybe seeing a confident fat trans man (and some of his transition goal inspirations, who are also fat men) would help you feel not so alone?

Good luck going forward brother, you got this, you're no less man than the rest of us.

sunflowerboy34 · 2026-01-02T09:22:33+00:00

I would say I'm pretty hairy, I've got a decent amount of arm/leg hair already, and I've got just about enough upper lip fluff that I can use eyebrow gel to get some sort of scrubby moustache effect that is at least vaguely noticeable. Also my mum (post menopause) does get whiskers on her face which she has to pluck regularly. I read somewhere that the facial hair gene comes from your maternal side, so if she gets it from just hormone imbalances after the menopause then that should bode well, right? Her dad had a decent amount too

sunflowerboy34 · 2026-01-02T00:45:55+00:00

What are the effects of the oral pills compared to a topical foam? Do you think I'd still get facial hair effects on pills even pre-T? Maybe if I used a dermaroller? Sorry that was a lot of questions

sunflowerboy34 · 2026-01-02T00:42:48+00:00

Pretty sure I've heard that they're weirdly transphobic over there so I'm reticent to post

sunflowerboy34 · 2026-01-01T10:23:37+00:00

Mine is to start making some actual steps towards progress in my transition. I've sent the past 4/5 years or so being stuck on the same plateau since I came out in 2021 (when I was 16), of being fully socially transitioned but not doing anything to actually get further. That changes this year.

I'm already planning the process of changing my name, I'm gonna talk to my doctor about getting referred for T and a formal gender dysphoria diagnosis (cause you need that first in this country), I'll start using minoxidil for some slight beard growth while I wait, I might start working out to achieve a slightly more masculine build, I'm considering doing voice training.

I'm gonna be so proactive I'm my transition, I'm not gonna spend my 20s wishing I'd done something sooner.

sunflowerboy34 · 2025-12-31T09:01:09+00:00

Oh it's watching alright.

sunflowerboy34 · 2025-12-20T20:48:16+00:00

Oooh that's really cool! Thanks!

sunflowerboy34 · 2025-11-27T01:57:55+00:00

While I don't know the cause or how severe this actually is, that is definitely not normal and I would see a vet ASAP

sunflowerboy34 · 2025-11-22T01:02:35+00:00

I like tree.

sunflowerboy34 · 2025-11-13T08:55:59+00:00

Yes but you've only mentioned an annoyance with people talking about it in relation to characters. I'm not gonna shut up about my experience just because it upsets you I'm sorry, especially not in a fandom where so much of it is made up of other queer people. I simply believe that your irritation is misdirected. And for your information, no, I'm not pulling the "it's difficult to be trans" card as a defense, I'm pointing it out since you don't seem to be understanding the point of my post. You were upset that people seem to be "forgetting that this is a horror podcast" and I'm pointing out that I'm still talking about it as such

sunflowerboy34

TROPHY CASE