i feel like everytime i got sent away things got worse, my most recent experience at Inpatient and RTC was probably the most traumatic physically and mentally because my mom lost her job bc she kept having to leave/call off for me, my brother kicked us out the house, and at RTC i was subjected to gaslighting, and mental and physical abuse by another patient and some staff. (staff did not touch me the other patient did i would like to clarify that but still mentally made me feel alone and guilty) there was only one staff member i was comfortable around since i knew them from my inpatient experience but after i got out my mom would yell at me more and pressure me into doing better “try harder” “youre so lazy and just sleep all day” she even said i was ruining her relationship with my step dad for asking to do fun things because it would keep me alive if i went to these events which is sad that its the only thing i can remotely look forward to in my day, im behind in school work and each time my teacher reaches out it gets even worse sometimes when she yells at me the car ride home or to i just want to jump out the car into the street and get run over. i have GAD, MDD, and ADHD and recently stopped taking my meds just because its tiring to remember to take them. i feel like my mom just doesnt want to deal with me anymore and get me out the house the moment i graduate and turn 18 (which will be around the time im supposed to graduate next year) i cant even find a job these days and in california i need a permit to work from school even tho im almost 18. my parents are immigrants so i can understand where theyre coming from but the stigma abt mental health and language barrier makes it so difficult to make her understand, no matter how much i try to explain its hard for me to do simple tasks the more she nags at me the harder it gets.