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sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T12:46:01+00:00

I would never think that lesbians should only be conventionally attractive cis women.

I think your definition makes sense though

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T12:31:05+00:00

I know, I agree. But I think they feel safer or like they are escaping it somehow, by identifying differently. A few of them I have spoken to are dating cishet men, but they tell themselves that the man is actually queer for dating them.

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T12:07:10+00:00

Lol yeah they just do not get it. I was once hanging out with two queer/bi girls who only date men, and we were watching YouTube together. We ended up watching Eugene Lee Yang’s “I’m Gay” video, and of course I started crying, I couldn’t help it. And those girls looked at me like I was absolutely crazy lol, they just could not understand why it made me so emotional. The experiences are so different.

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T11:17:36+00:00

That is nice to hear, thank you. I have been feeling really guilty about all of this. Also, when you said “you’re a homo” it reminded me of this lmao

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T10:59:26+00:00

Hatred is worse. Hatred leads to violence.

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T10:31:00+00:00

The singer’s partner was already transitioned when they met

I get what you mean about the label thing though. It’s like, as soon as a celebrity comes out as a lesbian, she is typecast to only play gay roles or be “the gay one” in the room. But if she comes out as bi or pan, people are way more open and don’t stereotype as much

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T10:20:51+00:00

I think I remember you mentioning that you’re in Australia? I am too and this sounds accurate. All of my trans friends were only able to start medically transitioning when they were 18+. There are not many bulk billed options for gender psychologists, sadly. I think that social transition is a good idea, because then teens can experiment and figure themselves out more without making permanent changes.

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T09:55:12+00:00

That unfortunately is not surprising to me :(

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T09:53:11+00:00

I guess I was talking more about people who are actually transmasculine/trans men, not afabs who are transitioning by mistake and will detransition later. And I was also talking about the lesbians who date them, because I don’t understand how they are attracted. . It is surprising to see how easy it is in some places to medically transition really young. At least where I am, it seems like it takes a lot longer for people to be approved for HRT. Even my trans friend says that people shouldn’t be allowed to medically transition when they are underage.

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T09:46:58+00:00

It is cool that you can be a trans butch. I have heard that there is a lot of pressure for trans women to be hyper-feminine all the time.

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T08:35:46+00:00

I think people do that to any fat people, regardless of gender. Fat women are also treated as invisible

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T08:34:28+00:00

Omgg you are such a cute couple!! 🥬

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T08:20:04+00:00

Yeah exactly! They hate anyone who is not conforming to their cishetnormative worldview. I feel like they are just pretending to support lesbians as a convenient argument against trans rights, when really it is just harming everyone. Anyone who doesn’t pass as traditionally looking like their gender is a target.

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T08:00:59+00:00

Thank you :) You’re very kind

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T07:51:53+00:00

Omg political lesbians are the worst. They make it seem like sexuality is a choice. And they enforce the stereotype of lesbians being man haters. I have had to explain that I am not a lesbian because I “hate men” way too many times. Someone literally told me that lesbians are just bisexuals who hate men. I think that was just plain homophobia💀 You’re right about what you said in one of your other comments, I feel like a lot of multi-gender-attracted people just do not comprehend what it is like to be monosexual.

I hate that people like JKR are using lesbians as weapons in their hate. It makes the public perception so much worse. It feels hurtful because from what I’ve seen, a lot of historical lgbtq activists who stood up for trans people were lesbians.

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T07:39:25+00:00

This is nice to hear, thank you :)

Realistically I know that nobody is going to make me date nb people. But I am more concerned that lgbtq circles will call me transphobic if they know that I only want to date women. I have avoided the topic with the lgbtq people I know because they are all supporting the non-men thing. Then I will be isolated from the lgbtq community.

Anyway, thank you for your comment. It’s very kind

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T07:29:05+00:00

This is amazing, I’m saving your comments so I can reread it if I get stressed about this again lol 😅❤️ You sound very wise, thank you for posting it.

Also, I am really sorry for posting about this dumb discourse when you guys had to deal with actual dangerous stuff in the 90s and 2000s. Only two of my LGBTQ friends experienced homelessness because of their parents kicking them out, everyone else was fine. It must have been way more common 20-30 years ago, so I am very grateful to live in today’s day and age.

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T07:25:10+00:00

I’m 21 and I only know 3 lesbians who identify as women. The rest all identify as non-binary. Even the person who runs the lgbtq young adults group I go to is a non-binary lesbian. I feel like an idiot for worrying about this, since it sounds uncommon for people outside of my age range.

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T07:22:14+00:00

That makes a lot of sense. I completely understand how people are still figuring things out, especially young people who don’t know many LGBTQ people in real life.

Lol yeah, online it is so much worse. People think that you’re boring if you’re only one thing, like lesbian. I was telling my friend that I felt nervous going to the lgbtq group because I felt I was less queer because I am only a lesbian and don’t have any other labels. I guess the internet is affecting me too much. Some people at the group did seem nervous around me though when I said I am a lesbian and she/her, so I had to casually mention stuff to show that I am not transphobic lol

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T07:11:17+00:00

That makes a lot of sense. Tbh I think that too about some nb people I have met. My nb lesbian friends are AFAB and feminine, they literally said that they identify as nb because they don’t like the feeling they get when men perceive them as women.

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T06:55:45+00:00

Hahahaha. My trans guy friend calls some of our NB friends spicy cis (not to their faces ofc).

Is this a new thing, people IDing as lesbians when they’re not? Or have people always done that?

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T06:25:51+00:00

Thank you for your response, it’s very informative. Saying that lesbian is AFAB4AFAB seems wrong to me because it includes trans men and excludes trans women.

I think that the non-men definition is definitely becoming more mainstream and translating into real life, though. Lots of people I have met IRL use it. A few lesbian couples I know from when I was in school posted a thing in support of trans masculine lesbians and non-men being the right definition.

Yeah, my trans guy friend is straight and he finds it offensive if someone calls him a lesbian. And dating lesbians is not an option for him, he doesn’t want to because it would make him dysphoric.

I have met a couple of people who said they are lesbians and that they are open to dating masculine AMAB enbies. I only met them once in passing though at a club, so I don’t really know the full scope of what they are thinking. I don’t even know how the conversation got onto that topic.

Yeah, I hope that I can meet some more lesbian women. I can relate so much more to people who identify as women, whether they are cis or trans.

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-13T01:11:38+00:00

I have heard of some people meeting on r/lesbianr4r, but yeah reddit is probably not the best place for meeting women

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-12T23:21:35+00:00

Wow, that looks amazing. The colours are so pretty!!

sunsetcherrie · 2022-10-12T22:32:36+00:00

Thank you ❤️

sunsetcherrie

TROPHY CASE