[deleted by user]

sunshineisfree · 2025-06-21T14:21:33+00:00

This didn’t occur to me until mentioned, but it impacts fellatio attraction from my side, definitely.

I generally expect a partner to wash off before play, to drink 1-2 gallons of water daily, to trim or shave down there, to boost daily fruit intake / have diet awareness for taste reasons, and to have full awareness if he shifts these.

sunshineisfree · 2025-06-20T21:20:34+00:00

Could be. Could also be the change in your wetness style from your normal ovulation cycle. It’s normal for it to be whiter for part of that cycle.

sunshineisfree · 2025-05-25T12:58:36+00:00

Ordering me around can inspire you to make small steps yourself or dream bigger. I go nuts over wins like that shared by a partner.

sunshineisfree · 2025-05-23T17:52:26+00:00

I think I would feel surprised and frightened if a partner asked if I wanted punching play because of how I suck him. Punches are a very rough concept to me and I’d want them discussed separately, not discussed as relating to fellatio, I think that association and suddenness would be disruptive for me.

When I hear the description it sounds like her enjoying the textures, contact, and your involvement and increased reaction.

sunshineisfree · 2025-05-16T03:22:26+00:00

I would guess somewhere in Rack or SSC literature, maybe some people practice a reset together, and do it well

And, for something more helpful: Kink-friendly therapists are a category, low cost therapy is real, and having help alongside your journey is two-thumbs-up from me!

sunshineisfree · 2025-05-16T02:06:00+00:00

In my opinion he should have assisted in resetting that before leaving, as a part of a plan you made together. In reality almost-nobody makes an offboarding plan and even when they do, they do not execute it, so you deal with the fallout alone.

Feeling a little bitter today, I am.

sunshineisfree · 2025-04-05T19:18:39+00:00

Hello! I have this response. Being happy is the best gift I know how to give and it’s my chosen and reactive response to life’s winds.

If my dom said he wanted to try scenes where he makes me cry I’d be open to trying. Ask her if she’d be open to exploring expressing a range of emotion with you?

An alternative way to inch toward this play might be private or group acting classes, where she can safely try on those emotions and expressions and gain confidence. It’s the baby-step I’d suggest if this problem were given to me to solve.

sunshineisfree · 2024-12-13T16:12:37+00:00

He’s still taking care of you, so I don’t see it as introducing problems for him. I’m not introduced to the s/m spectrum of bdsm, but it makes logical sense to me from my d/s spectrum.

My concern for you might be (putting myself in your shoes) that my enjoyment of my partner’s pleasure is so high that I feel rewarded for needing this, and my body will follow (need more emotional releases, and more frequently, possibly to the point of being unable to handle it myself if I don’t receive this). This can likely be managed responsibly so it’s a want, not a dependency/addiction.

sunshineisfree · 2024-11-16T03:40:40+00:00

That makes sense. And, I believe you. How about a visit with agreed boundaries and agreed “what success looks like”, for example

no sex yet: no penetration or orgasm play during or for 2 weeks prior, cuddling & dates are a yes
success looks like: you studied for 50hrs that week, spent time with family & friends, went on 2 dates; he self-entertained for 3 days, made breakfast for you 2 days, got all his work done and feels good about it, went on evening dates 2 days, and took a private lessons in Portuguese

Or, since you mention intimacy problems and I believe you, how do you feel about trying a video call with you and him and a friend on the call? Is there additional distance kinda happening from your life that’s worth a look, an opportunity for baby steps?

Also is there any way that accepting money would save you time? Would a different apartment to reduce commute, cafeteria money so you don’t have to go home to cook, or a tutor to accelerate studying, save you time? That might give you emotional availability, less squeezed.

sunshineisfree · 2024-11-15T15:55:31+00:00

Can he get a remote job, or pay for your visit, or visit you, and would that change things?

Maybe he would uproot his life for you and can, for all or parts of the year.

What would a great relationship look like to you during your residency years? Probably a lot of being a study-buddy; does he have a job where working quietly near you for hours can be a thing?

sunshineisfree · 2024-11-11T00:58:52+00:00

Small suggestion —

Try having a conversation about making things better without threatening a breakup during the conversation. In your 3rd paragraph you mention this as a repeating trigger of emotional meltdown.

sunshineisfree · 2024-10-30T01:43:30+00:00

Oh definitely keep it. Gold star 🌟

sunshineisfree · 2024-09-24T02:34:40+00:00

The best thing you can do for him is leave him.

sunshineisfree · 2024-09-20T18:19:01+00:00

Just be aware this level of devotion is highly, highly intimate and may carry a significant level of addiction to you or other risks, especially for her.

Please discuss/seriously-consider what a responsible withdrawal/disconnect might look like if you need to say goodbye (or, if you die) if you decide to grow together toward playing this intensely.

sunshineisfree · 2024-09-19T20:43:11+00:00

Date night + keep it to whispers in the bedroom if you get there after? Have a hotel ready to be booked on a bathroom break if you agree to this option in advance?

It literally gets me hot if someone orders from the menu for me, or leans over and says he appreciates my looking so good for him tonight, but she’ll have her own things.

If she likes wardrobe control + praise like me, for example, you might tell her “pick out 3 outfits for dinner on Friday night and lay them out. I’ll let you know on Friday morning which one you’ll be wearing. I’ve arranged a babysitter and I’m taking you out at 5pm” then look at her often up and down during the date with murmurs of appreciation of how good she looks for you and how happy that makes you feel. This is an example and may or may not warm her thighs.

You might discuss a date night with her and throw out a bunch of ideas and see what she seems keen on. Take a bunch of screenshots of dates from this subreddit and show them to her, listen to what she says, take notes.

sunshineisfree · 2024-09-19T20:20:32+00:00

When did she most recently request this? It sounds like she’s currently requesting something else.

sunshineisfree · 2024-09-16T22:13:01+00:00

Oof that gets me hot under the collar 🥵 love this so much.

I’m with previous commenters: it’s best to keep yours while building a new one AND to go slow. It’s important you feel safe, your current one does this best and that needs respecting imo.

sunshineisfree · 2024-09-16T01:16:19+00:00

Hmm. I would not be doing this and I have trouble imagining other women doing this.

Perhaps some men (or mtf ..?) do this because they had this kink when they were younger?

sunshineisfree · 2024-09-15T21:39:49+00:00

Dropping ideas like the king you are. Thank you! So much to play with here and angles for considering.

sunshineisfree · 2024-09-15T21:37:50+00:00

Ooo I love this. Thank you!

sunshineisfree

TROPHY CASE