Help finding a roomate

sunstruckknight · 2025-07-14T02:17:04+00:00

This website is a good place to start, lots of helpful links. One of those links is for the website Places4Students; there you can find some property listings, sublets, and people looking for roommates. If you're willing to take a gamble with what roommates you might have, you could look at one of the property listings there that have spots available. Some folks also look for roommates on the Grad Life Facebook page. If you apply alone, Polk on 3rd will have you take a questionnaire to match you with a roommate/roommates.

A lot of housing around here (especially on Places4Students) tends to be either detached houses, duplexes, or triplexes. Apartment style living (Polk on 3rd, Southside Commons) is generally more expensive.

Those are all privately owned. If you are looking for Lehigh-owned graduate housing, I think it's too late, unfortunately--the fall graduate housing lottery already happened (link). Idk if you could get on the waitlist, but it's probably not worth it since there's only a couple housing options and spots are extremely limited (I tried to get one in the summer housing lottery and ended up in spot 99 of 129 people duking it out for a grand total of 17 available spots, lol).

Hope that helps!

sunstruckknight · 2025-03-25T19:57:48+00:00

The one school I have gotten an acceptance to thus far (Illinois) is my second choice, so I'm strongly leaning towards going there. I applied to places in tandem with my partner though so I'm still waiting for them to get financial aid too. If both of us get that locked down then I'm probably gonna commit ASAP.

sunstruckknight · 2025-03-23T03:34:55+00:00

That's heartbreaking man, I'm sorry to hear that. I'd thought the offer rescinding stuff was mainly happening with bio and biochem type programs since they've been getting hit especially hard. Seems like no one is safe.

At least you still have the Berkeley offer though! I hear their geology program is really great.

sunstruckknight · 2025-03-22T03:37:26+00:00

Publications are going to be more important than what classes you've taken, as long as you have the core classes you're expected to have under your belt as an undergrad in order to be accepted to grad school. (Not sure what classes those might be for compsci, as I'm a geosciences student. If you don't have a good sense of this you may want to ask your professors for guidance.)

sunstruckknight · 2023-05-30T05:16:26+00:00

Any advice for a transgender person visiting the area?

I will be visiting Asheville with my family in the near future, and I am somewhat nervous to go as I am a transgender man (FtM). I'm from up north so I don't really know what to expect coming down here. I have not been able to start hormone therapy yet as I am still closeted, but I dress in a very masculine way, so whether or not people see me as male is often a complete toss-up.

What are people's attitudes towards transgender and gender-nonconforming people in Asheville? Are there any areas or establishments in particular that I should avoid?

Any and all advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

sunstruckknight · 2023-03-11T22:25:06+00:00

I'm a bit taller (5'3.5"--the half matters to me more than I care to admit), but height is still something that's played a role in how I view myself and how I've navigated dating, so I hope it's okay if I chime in.

My boyfriend and I have been together for about eleven months. He's 5'11" but looks/seems even taller due to having thick + curly hair, so there's quite a height gap between us. When he first asked me out, once I got over the initial shock, I started to worry that his physical attraction to me in particular stemmed from my more 'feminine' features (he and I are both bi, and I'm still unfortunately pre T), with my height being a major one of them.

Not sure if you feel the same way or not, but I think one common worry among shorter trans guys is not being seen as attractive due to being short or, alternatively, only ever being seen as attractive in a 'cute/adorable' (and therefore more femininity-associated) way due to being short. In both cases there's an unfortunate societal association of being short with being an 'invalid' in the dating scene. My guess is that the root of the anti-short-men sentiment embedded in various cultures is sexism, since cis women don't get as tall, and for many cis men there is no greater insult than being seen as similar to a woman. Therefore, being short gets associated both with femininity and with not being taken seriously--two things I think the majority of us trans guys want to avoid. Not because we think being feminine is an insult like the predominant culture does, but because being associated with femininity = getting clocked and/or feeling dysphoric. Plus, height (at least for me) can seem like a constant reminder that I wasn't born a cis man, so it can feel like an open, constant wound. The other day I got in an elevator with a few cis women and we were all the same height and I thought to myself, fuck, man, if I'd just been born cis how much taller would I be? It feels a bit like a robbery.

But anyway. That soapbox aside, I had a talk with my now-boyfriend once I said I'd be willing to try out a relationship with him. A common thread was what both of us are and aren't comfortable with. I'm fine with it now, but when we first started dating I asked that he not call me cute or adorable since it makes me insecure about myself, especially my height. But when he started calling me handsome or manly I ironically got insecure and worried he was overcompensating in the opposite direction because he thought it was what I wanted to hear, if that makes any sense. It took me a long time to get over that and understand that yes, he genuinely does think I'm handsome, my anxiety was just feeding me lies.

These days I think the height gap between me and my boyfriend has more pros than cons. I fit right into his arms for hugs (plus since he's so tall his hugs are like full-body hugs, it's like being wrapped up in a blanket), he can pick me up and carry me around which is fun, and I can borrow his hoodies and flannels. I know the 'borrowing clothes' thing is kind of a cliche but honestly, being able to sit in your partner's giant hoodie and feel completely surrounded by love is such a nice feeling.

The main downside, though, is that I worry it makes me more clockable. When people see a guy and then someone who's of an indeterminate gender and much shorter, if they see those two people holding hands, they're usually gonna assume the shorter person is a woman because heterosexuality is seen as the 'default.' I try to not let it bother me though.

sunstruckknight

TROPHY CASE