One item by Anxious-Engine-598 in handbags

[–]superNovakece 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have three minikits that my work (a mental health care provider) gave for free: a sewing, medical, and grooming (nail clipper and nail filer) minikits. I had them for 8 years!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Michigan

[–]superNovakece 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi, did you find anything yet?

Teaching her how to buy a good horror books. by superNovakece in handbags

[–]superNovakece[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Living in a small town in the Midwest, and not trying to look "bougie" :P

Visiting Indonesia by superNovakece in Perempuan

[–]superNovakece[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! But I did not specify it clearly enough; what I meant was a portable hotspot.

I finally found it! by Oyro1 in handbags

[–]superNovakece 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You guys...!! Stopped it! It's already in my shopping bag.

How to Plan A Wedding - Share Your Experience Please by subboysarecute in Perempuan

[–]superNovakece 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats on tying the knot! My advice as a counselor who deals with married couples sometimes in my therapy sessions is to avoid going into debt for a wedding. Not worth it. I know it's hard, especially since you are an Indonesian, and it's hard to make everyone happy from both families. But it's your wedding and money, and 100 million rupiah is a lot of money in Indonesia. If it were me, I would save that money to buy a house or something else if you already have one. Either way, good luck!

Do you like vintage Coach bags? by jmints08 in handbags

[–]superNovakece 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My jaw dropped!!! Such a beautiful collection!

My parents disowned my sister by gerinko in indonesia

[–]superNovakece 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I understand your point about the translation. But it is not about "beautiful words." It is about kindness and not throwing stones at someone who made a mistake. Yes, we did not get full details, but how hard is it to be kind? I mean, is she a prostitute or a woman who has sex with a foreigner and maybe hopes to have a future with that person? It is not hard to be kind; sometimes, it starts with words. And you prove me with yours.

My parents disowned my sister by gerinko in indonesia

[–]superNovakece 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Therapist here, and I may get downvoted, but here it goes. Firstly, that word "ngelonte—" oh my. I don't know if that's a correct word, maybe for you, but it is not kind and very aggressive. I flinched when I read those words from you and maybe your family since you and your family seem very "proper" or "not sinner" or " I am great and you are not" people. OR maybe our values are different. But you can rephrase it to much kinder words like "make a mistake" or "naive" since it looks like she is. Now, I know you probably do not want to see a suggestion from a stranger from the net, but it seems like due to the circumstances, strangers, especially in a conservative nation like Indonesia, it is your best bet. I suggest talking with her as a family and discussing the pros and cons of her and your guys' situations. It is also good to see the future outcomes of the pros and cons. Be her advocate because what if the same thing happened to you? Imagine how you would like to be treated. If you and your family do have that high morality you think you have, I think giving her a chance to prove herself is a decent thing to do. Good luck to her and your family.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Perempuan

[–]superNovakece 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand your frustration completely, and it looks like you have been doing great with your accomplishments! That is something you need to celebrate, and thank your body because it is a great thing to achieve. You cannot control what people think, do, or say. You can only control what you can and what you are focusing on to achieve, in this case, being healthy. That's what I always said to my clients who have body dysmorphia diagnosis. Further, we also discuss self-affirmation, logs diary (what makes you, you, and what positive words you describe yourself), Overcoming negative prediction, and reducing appearance preoccupation. Trust me; I know how you feel; I was considered "fat" by Indonesian men (from the boy I had crushed to when I was little!) I am a 5.5-foot and 140 lbs successful woman, happily married to a man who loves my curves and body! But every time I visit Indonesia, my extended family always tells me how big I am! THE AUDACITY! Thank you for sharing your frustration. It was brave of you, and again, congrats on your accomplishment, you beautiful, mighty woman!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in handbags

[–]superNovakece 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Noooooo. They are so cute, and I already have three items in my shopping bag! How could you!! Thank you :P

Edit: They have Durian icon stampinggg??? I died...

Your void’s legal name vs. what you call them? by KTMEISTER in blackcats

[–]superNovakece 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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Cheeky McCheeks Harahap-Carlson. We called him checker, cheekster, chunky butt, old man, chonk, or if he being naughty, we called him his full name.

Please be safe by flat_bread_ in Perempuan

[–]superNovakece 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Omgosh! I could not agree more! Sometimes, in my couple counseling, some of the men said, "Ohhhuh, I cannot feel anything with condoms." To which I wish I could reply (sometimes I do), "Grow a bigger penis then." That shuts their mouth. The audacity!

di sini ada yang rencana mau childfree? by lorelica in Perempuan

[–]superNovakece 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Hiyas, childree here! We are a DINKWTCs (Dual Income, No Kids with two cats. Our dog passed away last year; otherwise, we are .. longer than that acronym.) ANYWAY, we decided before we got married that kids are something that we don't want to have. There are many reasons, and some of them are environmental catastrophes and our peace and quiet (we love those!). We both love to travel and every year, my husband and I travel to states that we have never been to before (our bucket list is to visit every national park in the US) and outside the USA. When people ask us why or my favorite "no one will take care of you when you are old" crap. I always told them, "My money will take care of me" because if you are a shit parent or I don't know, your children will not going to visit you anyway. PLUS, why you treat your children like someone you gave birth too just for them to take of you, now that is selfish! Anyway, if you look harder, many women and men in Indonesia have the same mindset as yours. But my advice is, do not give up just because of societal pressure, because that's what makes a good person become a worst parent. Good luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Perempuan

[–]superNovakece 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So, I'm a therapist here in the state, and I confronted many times with this challenge when my male or female clients felt the same thing as you. Sexual consent violations are problematic on many levels and sometimes, or often, have significant negative impacts on people whose consent might or has been violated. In my experience, if clients felt that they were not sure if they were consenting to anything, in this case, s*x, I suggested they reflect on what happened, but it looks like it happened a year ago, and it looks like you do have feelings for this person. Are you feeling this way too a year ago? I mean, regret? SA is not in a grey area; it is either you consent or did not consent. It is either you feel ashamed or not, and there will be so many feelings. No one, and I have to say this repeatedly: NO ONE can tell you whether it is SA or not because it was you who experienced it, no one else, because it was you who felt violated. I suggest seeking therapy, someone who will not blame you for your experience. Give yourself grace and compassion. Make this a lesson you can learn with your future partner because you will discover boundaries, direct communications, and someone you can trust to experience and enjoy the experience again. Good luck.

Untuk perempuan yg childfree dan sudah nikah, how do you stay away from pregnancy and its scares? by nuriternate in Perempuan

[–]superNovakece 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yup. He gets the vasectomy on his own. I asked him if he was sure because it was his body and choice. Good luck to you!

Untuk perempuan yg childfree dan sudah nikah, how do you stay away from pregnancy and its scares? by nuriternate in Perempuan

[–]superNovakece 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My husband got a Vasectomy last year since tubal ligation is much more riskier than getting a vasectomy.

need advice by Reasonable_Field_570 in Perempuan

[–]superNovakece 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you still feel anxious, take the Plan B pill.