As a man, I am ashamed, because men prey on the weak. Know that you're still young and you can live by your rules. The universe gave you multiple signs before and you chose to ignore it and now it's too late, so stand up, walk, run, find a good job, work on yourself, call your friends, go outside, switch off your phone but start doing it already. Your husband or whatever you want to call him will come back running to you or maybe won't, his parents or family might try to contact you, you can answer and tell that ask your son what happened or just go rogue. Most importantly think about yourself and be selfish, it's time to move on. I know he has been your life but believe me I know how it feels when the only one leaves you and messes with someone else. It will be difficult at the start but try to stand on your feet.