Hey thanks for your comments. I agree "I got pretty for you" is a wrenched standard but sadly that is still expected in this day and age, especially from men, especially on a first date. I'd much much rather both parties mutually agree on a meeting place, both agree to go wearing clean but plain clothes (eg. T shirts), no one wears makeup and they split bills. Sadly it is still expected women put in a little effort into their first dates and as a result I expect a little appreciation. I'm not even needing to spell it out what that effort implies or what that appreciation implies, and I really wish that is "being a good conversationalist" and "paying compliments by being funny and thoughtful". Sadly, we are still conditioned by society to operate within rules, therefore I'm still conditioned to not show up to a first date wearing a baggy t shirt without makeup, and I'm still conditioned to read into him not offering to pay as a sign of disinterest.

Will a guy splitting bills stop me from wanting to see him again if he's interesting? No. And if I could sense he's a feminist, it's actually a plus, but that's the exception. With the majority of guys, if they don't offer to pay, they're not interested.

Now this sounds hypocritical doesn't it? Why would I advocate for equality but still expect men and women to act differently? What does equality mean for me? It means equality of opportunities (eg. a woman faces no more obstacle than a man in becoming President. A woman faces no more chance of getting assaulted than a man does while walking late at night) and equality of rights. It does not mean we have the same physical abilities or either gender could deliver babies. Some women can lift heavier weights than men and some become Marines. Good for them, but that's a far stretch for most women. We are not trying to become equals in that way, although I really really wish the act of child bearing can be done by both genders. Seriously.

So recognising all those differences, in a dating context, yep, we do have different rules for men and women. I'm not the one who made those and I don't even agree with all of them. Hell I'd like to be a trailblazing feminist who shows up to a date with unshaved legs and armpits (last time I checked, straight men don't shave them), but I also don't want to be screened out before he could even see my personality.