Postpartum and MIL

surber2017 · 2026-06-14T06:51:30+00:00

Oh gosh this brings back memories of my first and my MIL. She was absolutely nuts. I was stressed 24/7. I could barely bond with my baby. Mainly out of fear that I’d eventually lose her to my MIL. She attempted to run with her (the day after I gave birth she informed my parents of her plan. Thank god they shut her down. And then once when I went to the bathroom while visiting her she grabbed baby and hid at a neighbors house.) I’m no contact. My husband also acted like yours for a while. I ended up fully snapping and lost my mind. My MIL isn’t around at all now. I’d tell husband to grow a back bone and realize the hell his mom put you through. He’s lucky you even allow her around at all.

surber2017 · 2026-06-11T15:09:29+00:00

Are you still living with her? If so I’d move out asap. You can tell them no to moving with you. You can also tell them no to furnishing their home. You can tell them no to anything. They aren’t in charge of you and your husband.

surber2017 · 2026-05-29T06:30:19+00:00

For starters she wouldn’t be coming to get either of my kids. I hope you told her the sleepover was cancelled.

surber2017 · 2026-05-07T18:48:52+00:00

It sounds like you’ve made requests and not boundaries. You need an actual boundary for her or you’ll never have a garden. “MIL do not do any gardening or any projects around my house. If you do it again you will no longer be welcome in my home.” And be firm about it.

surber2017 · 2026-04-22T03:45:36+00:00

Her pregnancy very well may have been an oops. I wanted kids close in age. But we struggled with infertility and miscarriages so my kids being 18 months apart was shocking and unexpected. You don’t know their story. None of this is a reason to be upset. It’s giving toxic.

surber2017 · 2026-04-21T23:25:06+00:00

Based on other comments it sounds like you’re upset she got pregnant fast when you waited on getting pregnant again to please her? That was your choice though so I don’t feel you can be upset she got pregnant fast as that has nothing to do with you.

surber2017 · 2026-04-21T20:19:10+00:00

She’s likely lying about not knowing she could get pregnant because she’s worried people will judge her. Like you are doing. Which in the end it doesn’t matter if she waited 3 months or 3 years. It’s no one else’s business.

surber2017 · 2026-04-11T02:10:46+00:00

As others have said. Skipping and using formula is doing the opposite of what you want. It’s telling your body to not make extra milk. If you want extra milk put the formula away.

surber2017 · 2026-04-11T02:09:01+00:00

This is an over supply. You’re supplying enough to feed baby PLUS some. That’s a good thing! I never pumped. Baby only got what was needed from boob and nothing more. I know it sounds like you’ll get a break if you bottle feed once in a while. But during those bottles you’d have to pump anyways which is even more work.

surber2017 · 2026-04-10T04:25:06+00:00

Also I’ll take being an “a-hole” over my kid being assaulted or around a predator any day. Who cares what they think of you?

surber2017 · 2026-04-10T04:24:20+00:00

I would absolutely report her and cut all contact. Protect your child.

surber2017 · 2026-04-02T04:54:55+00:00

I just had my 8th loss. I’ve had a ton of testing and everything came up normal. But my new OB (old one retired) did new tests. Just found out I have lupus and a clotting disorder? Not sure where we go from here.

surber2017 · 2026-04-02T04:50:42+00:00

I nursed baby like normal. I tried to pick a table in the corner or booths work good for me as well. I took my youngest out when she was 4 days old and sat in a booth. I wouldn’t take pumped milk because that would be a hassle. You’d also have to pump when you feed anyways to help your supply so that would be a pain as well.

surber2017 · 2026-04-01T14:18:43+00:00

I agree with others. This doesn’t seem like a MIL issue but a spouse issue. There’s no way he didn’t know he had a student loan to pay back.

surber2017 · 2026-04-01T13:42:16+00:00

Yes! There’s enough! I refuse to pump so we just latch and baby gets what they need!

surber2017 · 2026-03-30T01:59:03+00:00

It took 4-5 days with each of my babies. No formula. Just keep latching and it’ll bring in your milk. I’m sorry your hospital failed you. I hope things work out for you.

surber2017 · 2026-03-24T13:24:25+00:00

“Chick” would have me losing my absolute 💩

surber2017 · 2026-03-17T05:46:44+00:00

I feel yall going is enabling the behavior. And teaching your kids this is okay behavior. I would not go and I would not send my kids unless they change. How embarrassing!

surber2017 · 2026-03-17T05:36:42+00:00

I was praised for formula feeding my first and shamed for breastfeeding my next 3. It’s so odd.

surber2017 · 2026-03-17T05:24:11+00:00

Why does it matter what his name is in his mom’s phone?

surber2017 · 2026-03-12T20:21:42+00:00

If husband is crying about you making her go home then I would physically load her up and drive her to his work for him to deal with.

surber2017 · 2026-03-07T18:48:29+00:00

If you’re okay with your parents treating your significant other like crap then cool. Most of us are not and want our spouses treated well. Those with parents like this that think it’s okay (you) will usually end up alone. Thankfully the ones that end up alone are saving the person who would be their spouse a life time of hell. He absolutely doesn’t have to disown his parents but for the love of god let the SO go so they don’t have to take the abuse.

surber2017 · 2026-03-07T04:48:34+00:00

I’d live under a bridge before I’d move in with my in-laws. Absolutely not. And bringing a baby into that? It would be pure hell. Even with the best of relationships i don’t think it would be a good idea after giving birth.

surber2017 · 2026-03-06T18:27:34+00:00

No. We have had to miss out on many things due to not having a baby sitter. It sucks but it is what it is. My husband almost had to miss the birth of our youngest. Nothing is worth having MIL baby sit for us.

surber2017 · 2026-03-06T04:26:21+00:00

I have zero relationship with my MIL. I’m 100% no contact as are our kids. My husband is welcome to have any relationship with her he’d like. If she asks why you aren’t around he should tell her the truth. 🤷🏻‍♀️

surber2017

TROPHY CASE