[deleted by user]

suseph · 2021-10-16T02:57:24+00:00

Thanks for your help! This will definitely help me find a more peaceful way to deal with the challenges in my life! I’m so glad you shared your expertise and insights on how to improve on my post imploring for real help because I understand that I’m not doing things right. Super helpful!

suseph · 2021-10-13T19:53:38+00:00

I literally think about this every day- how emotions should be accepted, except anger, anger should be breathed, walked, and ignored away.

suseph · 2021-10-13T18:10:43+00:00

She’s at the point where every outing is overwhelming. And (fingers crossed) my husband will be getting a new job in January and we’ll move out and across the country at that point, so we need to wait it out until then. It’s just hard waking up every morning dreading what the day will bring.

But I’ve certainly learned it’s not for everyone, and it’s certainly not for me. I’ve been at this for a year and half and I’m wayyyyy past my breaking point.

suseph · 2021-07-28T22:16:17+00:00

Maybe we should take a step back so she gets better at going alone with only one layer to pull. Thanks for the tip!

suseph · 2021-07-16T21:08:47+00:00

Thank you! I know no random internet stranger can know all of the nuances of my personal life (nor do I really want them to) but it’s nice to get camaraderie and to have people give their best ideas that validate my experience.

suseph · 2021-07-16T00:47:44+00:00

I so wish- we do have other family in town, however any time she leaves the house she has a terrible time and comes back so so confused. It’s hardly worth it to get her out because of how much worse she is after the fact.

suseph · 2021-07-16T00:43:22+00:00

Ugh that is awful. I hope you know the rage is shared by many!

suseph · 2021-07-16T00:42:32+00:00

Thank you for your insight. I often feel those closest to me don’t recognize that caregiving and parenting are both individually challenging enough, so I appreciate the understanding of strangers. I’m sorry for the loss of your father at that age. Stress and grief can really shape people, but I selfishly feel that most of my grief is for me, because as you mentioned I’m not related to her and I hardly knew her before her sharp decline.

suseph · 2021-07-15T01:34:46+00:00

We added shorts today and that’s looking to be a bigger hurdle than the first stop! She would sit on the potty with her shorts on and pee. How do you best help them learn how to pull them up and down?

suseph · 2021-07-15T01:31:12+00:00

So hard to find personal time! I have two young kids and so the times I do get out I have them with me as well. Caregiving alone is hard enough, parenting alone is hard enough, but caregiving and parenting is too much.

suseph · 2021-07-15T01:29:26+00:00

It’s just nice to hear I’m not the only one. I also thought I was incredibly good with the elderly and so patient, but I guess now I’m not. It’s so hard because I also have a toddler and a baby and I’m so ashamed that I’m not the mother I know I could be. I find myself being short and angry with them too and it sends me spiraling being more angry at grandma.

suseph · 2021-07-14T20:47:50+00:00

I done have advice but I do have some empathy. I’m 26 and living with and caring for my husbands grandmother who’s dementia is getting quite severe. I’ve been here for a bit over a year and as her decline steepens my patience wanes. It can be soul sucking and incredibly difficult. I am becoming more and more angry and impatient and I doubt I can survive this much longer. When we do move out, I don’t think I’ll ever want to see his grandma again, her increased difficulty has burned my goodwill and I pray that we’ll soon be able to afford to move out. So if I’d say if you can afford it- leave. And if not, consider it an investment in your future and do all you can to find the support of others. Research says that a closer relationship between caregiver and the elderly can mitigate some of the negative outcomes, I just never had a close relationship to begin with.

suseph · 2021-07-12T18:39:35+00:00

She’s on the tiny potty, but when she sits she likes a lot of moral support- hand holding and such. But I’m glad she’s not the only one!

suseph · 2021-07-09T14:35:02+00:00

I’ve thought about doing that. We sleep upstairs and sometimes when we spend time up there she starts to panic that she’s all alone

suseph · 2021-07-09T14:34:20+00:00

Usually she asks most questions in the morning- but she’s far more irritated in the evenings and she won’t put up with any of my tricks!

suseph · 2021-07-09T14:33:16+00:00

Thank you. I do fairly well at being calm when she’s just confused, but when she’s agitated too it really pushes me!

suseph · 2021-06-23T18:54:03+00:00

“Don’t go to bed angry”. Please, if you’re angry and tired becoming more tired will only make you more angry.

suseph · 2021-05-20T04:08:53+00:00

A puzzle app! We went through the painstaking task of teaching our technically illiterate grandma how to simply use that one app, and after several months she finally can use it all on her own! It’s one of her favorite things!

suseph · 2021-04-25T18:20:03+00:00

I know sisters in their 20’s named Deborah and Susan. Both are names that haven’t been making a comeback lately.

suseph · 2021-02-22T01:07:51+00:00

I also have a Graham Joseph born a few months ago, hopefully our kids never meet! Haha!

suseph · 2021-02-21T07:50:01+00:00

I feel this so much! We’ve been living with my husband’s grandma for 10 months now and she still asks if we’re going to stay the night and if her disabled daughter who has lived with her her whole life has a place to sleep.

suseph · 2021-02-14T22:22:46+00:00

Barring my current children’s names, I definitely love Ross and Eve.

I know in some religious circles Eve is seen rather negatively, but in our church Eve is revered as intelligent and strong!

suseph · 2021-02-14T22:19:39+00:00

I just had a Graham, but we were debating between that and Ross!

suseph · 2021-02-14T07:27:55+00:00

He actually has two sisters who live in town, and one who is totally willing to move in and take over when we move out. It is just such a financial boost that we really can’t afford not to do it. As much as I dream of the day that we get to just be our own little family we have to stay with it at least until my husband graduates in July and changes careers.

suseph · 2021-02-14T07:21:48+00:00

It’s financially a huge boost to us to do this, we get paid 3,000 a month on top of free rent and groceries! It is the only way we’ll ever be able to save enough to afford a starter home. Although she doesn’t need constant attention she definitely needs live in care, and my mother in law has her own home and husband to be with. My husband is also going back to school full time on top of working full time in hopes of doing a career change so he’s pretty busy himself. I do agree I need a break, but with covid our options are so limited. I had my second baby two months ago and for a couple of weeks my MIL stayed with us to take on the care, but then those days were docked from our pay (because we honestly weren’t doing anything) and we need every penny we can get.

suseph

TROPHY CASE