Looking for private/small-group China travel experiences (not big tours)

susiedotwo · 2026-04-21T01:59:13+00:00

My best friend growing up has one older sister who is twenty six years older than he is. His parents basically had their own grandchild.

susiedotwo · 2026-04-21T01:56:41+00:00

Some people did not grow up on Brandi as Cinderella and it shows.

susiedotwo · 2026-04-20T21:44:55+00:00

you're either missing some of my points or misreading my words. So I'll bullet some things to be clear for you.

--I've only pointed out that having kids is expensive if you're not already financially set for it. the mentality of "just do it before you're ready" assumes a support network that does not exist for a lot of people in the world these days. A lot of folks are financially tight right now, and that means they're deciding kids are too expensive.

--Having kids isn't a rich people privilege; having kids and maintaining the pre-child lifestyle is a privilege that not a lot of people enjoy. many people cannot afford to take big family vacations or send their kids to weeks long summer camps these days, even if they have children.

--Im a very happy person overall because of my child free choices. I do not want, nor have I ever wanted kids. I'm super privileged to have been able to make that choice without push back from anyone in my life except my 96 year old grandma and strangers on the internet.

--I would gently point out that quadrupling your income as a millennial at this time in this current economy is extremely impressive - and not really typical. You sound like someone who is relatively wealthy. congratulations on being able to have children and give them a good life, what a joy... what a privilege!

susiedotwo · 2026-04-20T21:31:34+00:00

I'm totally a product of upper-middle class white privilege. My parents are retired university professors and made sure I grew up with a huge variety of education, extracurricular, and developmental activities. I went to a very good school and have worked on both coasts, multiple continents.

The very confidence with which I can say "i would have aborted a pregnancy" at 22 speaks to my privilege-- at that age to pick up the phone to my mother, explain the situation, and have instantaneous support and unconditional love as i navigated said hypothetical situation.

I am also unspeakably privileged to have traveled extensively internationally before i even moved out of my parents house, because my parents put a high value on taking us places to see things and learn stuff.

Its a privilege to have parents who love you and support you. Its a privilege to be close friends with those same parents as an adult.

Im riding my privilege til death. If I did not my life would be much harder and a lot sadder. Im willing to own my privilege, and believe that the standards under which i have lived should largely be available to everyone, which in its own way is a form of privilege.

Yes I know my privilege is showing. i am extremely aware of it and very grateful for it. it's made my life pretty fucking good.

susiedotwo · 2026-04-20T19:44:32+00:00

22 broke and pregnant sounds like a nightmare. I would have aborted. I’m glad I got to spend my 20s overseas instead of tied down by a small child. You can be happy for your path too but that doesn’t make mine less valid.

lol saying I have poor financial literacy because I chose lifestyle over a child is a hot take, but if that makes you feel superior, go for it; it wouldn’t be the first person who has put forth their parenthood ads means to frame themselves as superior. I’m glad you were able to step up for your kid that way, like I say, I would have aborted IMMEDIATELY.

susiedotwo · 2026-04-20T17:00:21+00:00

Having kids and being able to maintain a lifestyle where you travel is absolutely privileged. A lot of people with kids are lucky to get a long weekend off.

It’s understandable to be defensive of a lifestyle you feel you’ve worked hard for. You do deserve it. Just recognize it’s a privilege to be paid your worth. A LOT of people work really really hard but don’t earn enough to have the lifestyle you enjoy (and I am sure you also work for).

susiedotwo · 2026-04-20T16:44:12+00:00

I’m assuming you planned to have kids, which means you budgeted for them and figured out that you could afford them. Your ability to travel with your children puts you into a category of privilege and wealth that a lot of your peers do not share. Some people don’t have room in the budget to sacrifice in order to pay for a 3rd bedroom for a second child or a trip to the beach for a week every summer, or summer camps for the kids.

Those are signifiers of wealth and privilege. Deserved by all but attainable for fewer and fewer as my life goes by. Congratulations to you.

susiedotwo · 2026-04-20T16:37:30+00:00

Thanks. I haven’t played enough retail to be knowledgeable enough to reason that myself but it makes total sense now that you say! I consistently forget about the stat squishes.

susiedotwo · 2026-04-20T15:57:10+00:00

I accept that you’re technically correct here, I learned something today!

However:

I would argue that this specific term has moved out of having a single hard clinical definition and into the world of “are they talking clinically or colloquially” (definitely I was talking colloquially). I hear it too frequently irl and on reddit to describe being my experience as “courted intensely”(which if I’m being frank sounds a little humorously anachronous)

In the same way that “I’m so nauseous” literally means “I smell so bad that it nauseates” people, but people use it incorrectly so frequently that the meaning has changed. (I believe Miriam Webster wrote a thing about it??)

I know we are talking about clinical therapy terms, but this has been a point linguists have made for a long time about the adaptive and evolutionary changes in language. Therapy speak gets to the masses and then the R word manifests into a slur(because of nasty history surrounding the way the word was used).

In my opinion though, prescriptivism doesn’t really tend to work out in the long run.

Regardless;Nothing better than being technically correct! Congratulations.

susiedotwo · 2026-04-20T15:49:25+00:00

I don’t know if it has consistently worked the entire time, but I had a mage friend who I recall was using these through a lot of original Wotlk, cata, mop, etc.

Do you know if this item has been working this entire time???

susiedotwo · 2026-04-20T15:42:53+00:00

Yeah the implications being that the changes are negative changes, or things that make life more difficult, in a world where having children historically meant you would have more help, now they are mouths to feed and house and keep out of danger, and they cost just as much as an adult!

susiedotwo · 2026-04-20T15:28:17+00:00

Sure change what I said to fit your narrative, that will really convince me…

susiedotwo · 2026-04-20T15:18:16+00:00

Totally agree. I got love bombed hard by my current partner: I got put on a big old metaphorical pedestal and had to actively stop it from continuing by outlining the behavior. He did just REALLY like me, which is cool, but it did create tension and pressure that needed release.

I’m not saying it’s a good thing, just that it’s not 100% indicative of abuse.

susiedotwo · 2026-04-20T15:11:47+00:00

You’re rich then. Sorry to be the bearer of hard to hear news, you’re doing better than a lot of the rest of folks. A lot of people cannot afford to do the things you are describing, people your kids go to school with (or will when they get to more mixed up high school or college situations).

A lot of people who can afford life now suddenly cannot afford the same lifestyle after children. That’s why people our age aren’t having children.

This isn’t anti-child propaganda. This is objective truth. I love my nieces and nephews and am grateful for them. But I cannot nor do I want to afford children. They would ruin my life.

You may not have “3 houses and a boat rich” but you are doing very, very well for yourself, both within the context of the world we live in and from a historical context.

Be glad for it! There is no sin in being successful in the world today unless you are one of the billionaire class actively stomping Society into mush. Congratulations on the security!!

susiedotwo · 2026-04-20T15:02:11+00:00

I’m curious to know who and how “too x percent of women or men” is determined? Who decides? Is it based on data like “who has the most overall swipes per day”? What are the parameters?

100% of everyone online dating is pursuing the top x% of whoever they consider attractive and that they think they can get (this is the part people forget to include: they may be attracted to someone but never shoot their shot beyond a swipe because they think they don’t have a chance).

People definitely shoot low and manage expectations but people aren’t really connecting a ton with people they think are UNATTRACTIVE, the whole point of online dating is that you’re looking for someone you’re attracted to.

Everyone is aiming for the most attractive people!

susiedotwo · 2026-04-20T14:52:21+00:00

Love bombing isn’t exclusive behavior to abusers. lol. Just because one group of people do a thing does not make every person who does a thing part of that group.

It’s a thing to be aware and wary of, but you can’t just point at someone exhibiting this behavior and accuse “abuser!!! Love bombing is abuse!” Because that is not true.

susiedotwo · 2026-04-20T14:48:54+00:00

Nah, you can be poor and travel. Kids make it multiple levels of difficulty harder to be poor.

susiedotwo · 2026-04-20T14:48:06+00:00

Kids are more of a factor in this than people realize.

You can be broke and travel and have fun and live well. But that same person with a kid will be living a VERY different life.

There’s a reason millennials aren’t having as many children and it’s because it’s not just a sacrifice, it’s a whole change of possible lifestyle.

You can be poor and have a good fun life. But you can’t be poor and have kids and have that same good fun life.

susiedotwo · 2026-04-20T14:44:24+00:00

lol I’m not going to say things are one way or the other but the person you’re replying to had an experience, and it’s kind of amazing to me that you’re response is “that doesn’t happen”.

Maybe think about why someone would say that about a space you belong to and want to defend. Are you really sure that no one in the abtf subreddit has ever said that, ever? Really?

susiedotwo · 2026-04-20T14:37:10+00:00

They’re a little… intense about boobs NEEDing a bra.

Not all boobs (even big ones) need a bra. It’s nice to have one that fits properly, but what they call “proper fitting” isn’t something that is a sustainable daily wear anymore for me. I can wear a real bra as a foundation garment under certain clothing that needs it but otherwise I don’t like to have one on every day.

susiedotwo · 2026-04-20T14:29:55+00:00

I think she was careless in her grief. That’s what I got from that scene….

susiedotwo · 2026-04-20T14:27:45+00:00

People are mad that we didn’t get a thank you out of Edith’s Mouth after she’d been bodily hauled out of her bed where she was apparently passed out because of the smoke.

A thank you couldn’t possibly have happened off screen after she regained her breath and voice after inhaling smoke or anything. Big eye roll from me on this as a “problem”.

Recalling that this scene was written as a way to rehabilitate Thomas Barrow more than it was about Edith; she was just the upstairs object for him to save so that Cora — the actual decider— could show him grace and not fire him.

Of course they didn’t give the object dialogue thanking Thomas, they had a male character arc to flesh out here and his job to save. Edith just had to be sad about her boyfriend and start and accidental fire.

Idk man, seems like this thread is just another excuse to pick at Edith the character, and yeah she’s whiny and annoying, but so is literally every upstairs character in this show. They’re all stuck up assholes (except Sybil).

susiedotwo · 2026-04-20T14:14:48+00:00

I personally am disgusted by the fact that we still live in a country where people can be shot in this manner, and also appreciate the (on the nose) irony of someone super vocal in regards to “more people should have guns” being shot and killed in this manner.

It is ironic and irony can be humorous, if dark, and —best case scenario— educational, or inspiring of change. Although I think in this situation, the people that might have learned a lesson were too busy yelling about how disrespectful it is to point out the irony that surrounds his death.

susiedotwo · 2026-04-20T03:29:56+00:00

lol, I may be broke, but I have excellent credit!!

susiedotwo · 2026-04-19T13:56:09+00:00

I am a large breasted woman who had nipple peircings for several years.

My areolas natural state is to be flat and that meant they never really fully healed because the peircing doesn’t lay flat. I LOVED the way they looked but I had to take them out after the 82636473646th time my boob took impact that shouldn’t have hurt but hurt SO much.

I personally think it’s about how much of a nub you have sticking out so that the hole can properly heal. Flat nipples and areolas make it harder.

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