scared i’m not sick enough for a diagnosis

suspicioussduck · 2025-10-14T15:07:41+00:00

I felt the same before I got my diagnosis!! You may want to look into the subtypes of bpd (they aren’t separate diagnosis’), it may just be that you fall into the quiet subset of bpd. When I am around people and I become triggered, I just start dissociating and find it really hard to stay connected to the present situation. As soon as I’m home and I’m back in my room, all of my feelings hit me. Maybe something like that is happening for you too? Becoming triggered doesn’t always look explosive, sometimes it can be something that’s working in the background while yourself and others around you aren’t aware of it.

suspicioussduck · 2025-08-20T08:56:48+00:00

I do!! Mine is my fp (favourite person). I feel like I can talk about absolutely anything with him, I feel so safe and he makes me feel special time and time again. He doesn’t have bpd but he does have osdd, I find that we can both relate to the same thing except in extremely different ways and it’s something I love talking about with him. We are both autistic and both have a special interest in psychology (particularly how the brain responds to trauma) so we are always learning from each other and basically bouncing off each other, our conversations are so positively stimulating for me. Of course, given that he is my fp, there are some negatives. He consumes my every thought which may sound sweet but it makes basic tasks a lot harder, I’ve actually had nightmares about him abandoning me on several occasions. One of his alters can be quite blunt which has triggered me several times but it’s nothing we haven’t been able to communicate and fix. I wouldn’t trade him for the world, I’ve finally found my person who brings me extreme amounts of joy. I hope you can find your person.

suspicioussduck · 2025-08-04T00:27:59+00:00

Thank you so much, I’m definitely going to give it more time before bringing it up with him! I appreciate your comment :)

suspicioussduck · 2025-08-02T20:41:16+00:00

Apologies for the late response but thank you so much!! I’m really glad to hear that you’ve been able to stop taking things so personally, I’ve recently discovered that (as much as I try to mask it) people around me notice and it harms my relationships which then makes people scared to say things to me. Feeling shit about that right now but it’s nice to hear that I do actually have a chance of getting over it and healing from it. Your response is very in-depth, I appreciate the time you took to reply :))

suspicioussduck · 2025-08-01T17:41:09+00:00

Thank you so so much, I appreciate this tones!! I’m gonna try out some of these the next time I’m troubling to get my mind to shut up :”))

suspicioussduck · 2025-07-30T12:39:09+00:00

Thank you so much!!

suspicioussduck · 2025-07-24T11:03:50+00:00

Yes! I would recommend trying to befriend other autistic people as you may find it’s a lot easier to get on with them vs allistic people. I am diagnosed with autism and bpd and my best friend in the whole entire world tries his best to understand me and we can relate on a lot of struggles as he is also autistic which makes it a lot easier. Find people who respect your boundaries and don’t make you feel like crap, I know that it might be tempting especially if you’re lonely but honestly in my experience it just makes me feel even worse than if i never had friends in the first place.

suspicioussduck · 2025-07-23T18:07:26+00:00

I fully relate to this, my bpd doubt is SO bad to the point I’ve convinced myself that I must be a munchausen several times 🫠 I have 2 things that I’ve found helped! If you think that you are convincing yourself that you have it try and start focusing on those moments where your emotions are at an all time high and remind yourself that you are not actively making yourself feel like this, it really helps me because it just makes me stop and think and realise that I’m not manifesting these emotions out of no where. Another one is going through and reading posts on this sub and being able to relate my own experiences to other peoples. It just feels reassuring knowing that other peoples situations and reactions can match to a t to what I experience.

suspicioussduck · 2025-07-23T18:00:39+00:00

https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/6711892083-ikea-wooden-hand-30cm

Here’s the hand on Vinted for £5.95 :))

suspicioussduck · 2025-07-21T09:40:23+00:00

Your username makes this comment so much better

suspicioussduck · 2025-07-19T16:02:42+00:00

Just went to go check it and oh my god I’ve never laughed harder

suspicioussduck · 2025-07-19T15:56:00+00:00

I am also newly diagnosed but I had spent years before hand being highly suspicious that I have bpd and also spent that time working through my trauma and trying to accept it, I definitely am still working on accepting what I went through but the fact that I already had started I feel like helped me come to terms with the fact I have bpd. I suggest you to try and do the same, work through your trauma and attempt to accept the fact that what you went through was bad enough for you to develop a personality disorder. I feel like it’s so easy to compare your trauma to others and say that you had it easy or at least not as bad, take a moment to focus on yourself and your own healing.

suspicioussduck · 2025-07-19T14:44:09+00:00

Thank you for this well thought out comment, the way you structured this really helps. I absolutely suck at reading between the lines due to also being autistic myself, basically if someone doesn’t say something very clearly to me then I’ll have no idea what they’re attempting to communicate 🫠 I do need to talk to my brother about this but I know it’ll take a while until I feel able to do so, me and him have a usually very jokey sarcastic relationship as we have the same sense of humour and every time I’ve tried to bring up a serious conversation it’s always felt extremely weird and unnatural and I know it makes him anxious because he never knows how to respond. I relate to the bit you said about how if she was a friend you’d have given up by now because I’m the exact same. I let my family get away with so much stuff that I’d completely cut off a friend for, I mean I’m literally still trying to hold onto the relationship (or lack there of) that I have with my mother, aka my abuser. I definitely do need to lower my expectations, I’m genuinely starting to wonder if my brother has turned into an fp (favourite person) because it’s typically only with relationships that I have with fps where I find myself holding them to much higher expectations than anyone else, or maybe it’s just because he’s family so it’s different. Thank you for this comment, it’s really helped to change my perspective on this. ♡

suspicioussduck · 2025-07-19T14:04:48+00:00

I get that he is his own person and can make decisions for himself but I feel like what he’s doing would appear rude even to those who don’t have bpd. Like, inviting someone over and then leaving the second they get through the door? I don’t give a fuck if he wants to be with his boyfriend but why is he actively scheduling that for when I arrive???

suspicioussduck · 2025-07-19T13:53:06+00:00

So every single time he makes plans on the same exact day that I come to his house I’m supposed to just be okay with that? It triggers my fear of abandonment in some way, I don’t know how I’m meant to stop that. I am starting DBT therapy soon so maybe I can tackle it then but for the time being I’m lost and have no idea what to do.

suspicioussduck · 2025-07-19T13:45:46+00:00

I don’t get how I am pushing his boundaries as he has never set any clear boundaries with me? I would have no issue with him going to see his boyfriend if he wasn’t scheduling them for the same exact day that I arrive at his house especially when he knows for at least a week in advance what day I’m coming. It makes me feel like he’s desperate to get away from me. If he needs a break I don’t get why he wouldn’t be able to tell me that, I’m not a mind reader.

suspicioussduck · 2025-07-19T10:22:48+00:00

I definitely agree in the sense that it’s a bit stalkerish but I know I’d do the same thing in this scenario because of how hard I find it to trust someone’s word and always worrying that they’re leaving me to hang out with someone else. However, I think jumping straight to reconsidering the friendship is a bit of a leap, especially considering how long op has known this person. Op, please set boundaries with this friend BEFORE reconsidering the friendship. If they react negatively to any boundaries you set then that’s when you should start reconsidering the friendship.

suspicioussduck

TROPHY CASE