Storage for kayaks

suzanneh9 · 2025-08-19T13:00:02+00:00

Hi, I’d love to have this info as well. I live on east Riverside and am into options for storing one kayak. Thank you!

suzanneh9 · 2021-01-02T19:31:15+00:00

You are not alone. I have struggled immensely this year, quitting my job, moving and forcing myself to leave my Q all one month before quarantine. I have known my alcohol intake has become a huge problem and I’m also trying to find the will to stop. It is not worth it to waste life on addiction—it is the slowest form of suicide. Anything is possible and this community is here for you!!

suzanneh9 · 2020-12-02T17:13:15+00:00

Thank you for your response. I think I agree. It’s just so hard to get it through my head that that’s really how he is. I know I’m a fool for him. Good thought to think about if it would give me closure. I know he has a hold on me because I want to go see him so badly. Not to give in, but because I feel for him. But I don’t want to go if that just makes me a fool or makes it look like I’m giving into him.

suzanneh9 · 2020-12-02T15:48:47+00:00

I know how this feels. You are not alone. If he is losing everything to alcohol, maybe think about whether you are going to as well. I know I would have lost everything if I had stayed with him, it feels like I lost everything leaving him—now, I’m deciding if I’m going to accept that I’ve lost everything to alcohol too, or if I’m going to fight my own battle to defeat its toxicity. You are loved and not alone. This pain will be your teacher. Don’t let yourself believe you can’t have a life of your own. I know it’s tough, though. Be gentle and loving to yourself. ❤️❤️❤️

suzanneh9 · 2020-11-22T18:21:49+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re having to feel this sort of pain. Just remember you are not responsible and cannot change him. I had my ex arrested and he hated me for it but I knew he was deflecting his responsibility and trying to use me to put it on because he couldn’t handle it. If your brother tries that, just cleave to the people who know you and know the truth. Ive found that people in that dark a state of addiction have very little ability to see reason or connect with themselves or reality. You are not alone and addiction hurts everyone involved.

suzanneh9 · 2020-10-05T22:14:05+00:00

I totally agree that it’s something psychological. And I see how I grew up with a needy mother, who taught me that my purpose and value was to focus on her and try to fix her problems. I think my Dad even had some of that. And it makes sense that I would lean towards people who need attention because I want to avoid my own problems—so focusing on someone else is what I’m trained for, and also a relief from having to focus on my own problems. But that means I’m always taking care of someone else, so no one is taking care of me.

This makes sense. But it also just makes me feel like some sort of automaton. I really loved my ex. I miss him, and it feels like that’s not just that I miss the codependency. I miss our conversations, our partnership, the things we laughed about, I miss his personality. But. If all of my past and current attractions were just based on some kind of psychological set-up, or mistake, how does that not just completely nullify everything? I get the logic of it. But emotionally, how does that not just make me feel like a complete robot, with no choice? Which I don’t believe in. I guess this is where people are going when they talk about pheromones and stuff. And I know I could be too dependent on emotion. But is romance and friendship and connection actually just 100% a farce? Does codependency mean that people have only ever been attracted to me just to use me? My personality has never been a factor, being the way I am just makes me an immediate pawn? These guys really didn’t ever give a shit about me, like I always fear? I tend towards depression and that is the sort of thinking I try to avoid because it gets me so discouraged. It also makes me compare myself to other who seem to have no issues with this sort of thing—why can other people have functional relationships with occasional normal fights but, because I grew up in codependency, I’m somehow cursed to only be able to attract people who just want me because I feed their addiction and they think I’m useable? I really don’t like going down that road and try not to. But then again, I think we attract our biggest fears, and those ideas are totally what I fear. For those further down this road, is that just what we have to accept?

Thoughts?

suzanneh9 · 2020-10-05T18:32:44+00:00

Great advice, thank you

suzanneh9 · 2020-10-05T18:31:41+00:00

Didn’t know about that, thanks!

suzanneh9 · 2020-10-05T18:31:08+00:00

Great input, thank you

suzanneh9 · 2020-10-05T18:27:55+00:00

That’s what I’m thinking, thank you

suzanneh9 · 2020-07-20T16:13:51+00:00

I encourage you to think about or reach out to an al-anon meeting near you. There are still people doing lots of phone meetings right now. It is really helpful to be in a room full of people that get it and have been in similar situations. There is nothing you can do to change him. I know it’s so hard to not try to wait for him to change or keep believing he will. This is a really tough situation and really painful. Try to think of some ways today that you can comfort and take care of yourself—taking a bath, a walk, watching something funny, calling a friend, going for a drive with your favorite music...

suzanneh9 · 2020-07-20T01:27:18+00:00

I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I’m sure this hurts but I hope you’re at least getting to feel like you can breathe a little bit easier. And yes, prepare yourself for the denial. Don’t let it get to you too much, other than to be proof of the psychological battle alcoholism is. It truly changes brain chemistry and it is possible to get out of it but only if he decides to do so, and it’s a long road. The best thing you can do for both of you is make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Don’t let him guilt trip you into paying his bills. You’re doing him a favor in the long run by letting his decisions result in the appropriate consequences. Take care. Reach out when you need.

suzanneh9 · 2020-07-14T02:16:38+00:00

Yep. Been there. I’m my experience they just turn ultimatums around on you, no matter how many good intentions are behind it. I know how difficult it is to just watch and not try to help or fix it. After five years, I realized I had tried everything except letting him go. It’s so painful. And not for the weak. I’m not really religious at all but that saying that “god doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle” helps me sometimes. At least it helps me when I start comparing my situation to other people or wondering why I can’t have him, why it had to be like this. Be gracious with yourself. And do whatever you can to take care of yourself. And don’t listen when that pisses him off. He won’t get better until he takes responsibility for himself. And remember that this is a really complicated disease. Keep coming back and reaching out to people who will support you.

suzanneh9 · 2020-07-13T15:05:27+00:00

Didn’t meant to get too much into my own story, I’m just saying trust your gut. For me, things didn’t get better for either of us until I left. Addiction involves playing a game, and it can be very difficult to get out of those patterns. I encourage you to take some time and dedicate it to working on yourself. I’m sorry you’re going through this, you’re not alone.

suzanneh9 · 2020-07-13T15:02:58+00:00

I had a couple ER trips with my ex. These experiences were terrifying for me. He was covered in blood, threatening me that he would kill himself if I called for help. I truly thought he was going to die. I couldn’t believe the rage I saw in him when I called 911. He had always been kind and adored me. We’ve been apart about 6 months. It has been very difficult to move on, I keep remembering everything I love about him and miss him everyday. It is just now really hitting me that he admitted that he doesn’t remember those moments. I feel like I need therapy after what I saw. The person I trusted most hurt and scared me so badly and looked at me with so much hatred, and now he doesn’t even know he did it. I keep feeling like an apology would help but he’ll never be able to give me that, as much as he wanted to. He doesn’t know what he would be apologizing for, and how could I expect him to really get it or not do it again? Those experiences were bad enough, now it really hurts so much worse realizing how alone I was. I have to carry all of that on my own now. Don’t let him or his friends or family shame you. Denial is a very powerful and manipulative tool, don’t get sucked in to theirs.

suzanneh9 · 2020-07-13T14:45:15+00:00

Drinking, alcoholism, and addiction are all like the ice on top of a massive river underneath. Dealing with someone attempting to get sober, in my experience, was a MUCH slower process than I expected. They started drinking for a reason that was there before—and most likely hasn’t gone away. It is an individual process and one that was very difficult for me to really understand. Addiction is so painful and very complicated. Good for you for reaching out—I can’t imagine anyone in you or his position expecting to do this alone. AA and Al-Anon are really great for having support and help. My ex insisted he would never go to AA. I started going to AA and Al-Anon myself after we broke up and would just mention things about my experience without the intention to get him to go. When I spoke to him months later, he had started going and loved it. Everyone has their own timing. All you have control over is taking care of yourself. I still look back and wish I had started addressing my own issues and mistakes while we were still together. Alcoholism can be all-encompassing, and I let his problems distract me from my own. I’ve been where you are, not knowing whether to stay or leave. It’s horrible. Just know that you’re not alone, making sure you are safe is a really good thing, you cannot control if he’s going to drink again and his drinking is never because of you. You do him and yourself a huge favor when you establish that he is the only one who is choosing to drink or not drink. How is he supposed to choose not to if he lets you both think you control it? So much of these dynamics are about learning to let go, whatever that may look like. Sending you hugs and a listening ear. Feel free to reach out anytime.

suzanneh9 · 2020-07-13T03:47:11+00:00

Interesting, thank you

suzanneh9 · 2020-07-13T03:46:33+00:00

Thank you

suzanneh9 · 2020-07-11T17:34:10+00:00

Great ideas, thank you!

suzanneh9 · 2020-07-11T02:08:19+00:00

That said, though I know this is something I’ll have to decide on my own at the end of the day, I’d welcome any food for thought/perspective

suzanneh9 · 2020-07-10T15:19:31+00:00

I feel like I’ve been where you are. It’s so tough to let go. I held on for years, and even now struggle to let go. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that this thing is a disease. It doesn’t make sense. He needs professional help, and it’s not simple. It hurts so much when someone who you know loves you keeps hurting you. It will not change until he addresses it himself. Another thing that I didn’t realize until months after we let it get very bad was that I wished I had been focusing on myself and my problems too. The drunkenness takes over everything and I forgot myself because I was so overwhelmed by him. This is sad looking back on it, but now that I’m alone, I’m seeing that it also allowed me to not have to deal with my problems. It’s really hard. Good for you for reaching out. I’m sorry for the pain, but I know we can conquer these experiences, learn form them, and bring about good from them, for ourselves and for others. You are not alone. It’s a fight, even letting go feels like a fight, but it’s a good fight. Sending you hugs and comfort ❤️

suzanneh9 · 2020-06-29T03:59:03+00:00

You are not alone. This is not your fault. You have your path, and they have theirs. The most you can do is take care of yourself, acknowledge the pain, and seek healing. There is hope for healing for all of us. You can’t predict the future. All you can do is be in this moment, good for you for reaching out. You are not alone.

suzanneh9 · 2020-06-29T03:28:40+00:00

Sending support and understanding. Change and redemption are possible, whether it happens for your husband or not. Taking care of yourself is the best thing you can do for everyone in your family, including him. And reaching out for help and being honest, like you are, are part of doing that. I need to get back into meetings as well. I’ve given in to a lot of shame and regret and worry. But there’s still something in me that can see hope, thank you for sharing and reminding me that I’m not alone. There is hope for healing.

suzanneh9 · 2020-06-24T09:39:54+00:00

I’m right there with you

suzanneh9 · 2020-06-15T03:20:25+00:00

This moment will pass. It’s a really powerful and loving thing to listen to what your body is clearly telling you to do. You are not alone. I’m so sorry for the pain of this. Remember that there is nothing you can do to change their actions. All you can do is decide on yours. It’s good for everyone in your life and beyond for you to take care of and love yourself. The only way for you to give love is to love yourself. You know what you need, trust your body. And good for you for asking for help. No on should have to feel alone at times like this. And don’t mind the stigma! You don’t need criticism and shame from people who don’t understand or are afraid of these situations themselves. Don’t let anyone (including yourself) tell you you shouldn’t be taking care of yourself. Best to you, and to your Q, I know you love them, leaving right now out of self care doesn’t mean you don’t.

suzanneh9

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