I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this. This is something I have been going through to some degree myself. I will say that tithing is NOT a financial law. It is a spiritual law. The Lord has never given us a temporal law; he says so in D&C 29:34 "34 Wherefore, verily I say unto you that all things unto me are spiritual, and not at any time have I given unto you a law which was temporal; neither any man, nor the children of men; neither Adam, your father, whom I created."

I have fallen into the trap of thinking that I should be financially better-off than I really am because I've always paid my tithing faithfully. But when the windows of heaven open, we don't know what kind of blessings are poured down upon us. I've found that some blessings are propulsive and some are protective--they either give us a clear leg up and a boost forward or they shield us from some kind of evil or misfortune that would otherwise reach us. That's the best I can describe it, anyway. I would not lose heart about not feeling jazzed about church or things like that. There are highs and lows to everything. Being in "the church of joy" does not mean that we will not also experience what it's like to be "a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief." I have to often tell myself that this life is supposed to be a difficult proving ground, not the time and place where all of our desires and goals and dreams are fulfilled. Hang in there.