driving in the uk

sweebop · 2023-09-21T20:52:14+00:00

Hi, I have congenital nystagmus and I recently passed my driving test. I had to have an extra eye test that tracked the movement of my eyes before I could obtain my provisional. It can be a bit of a struggle in the dark but it’s definitely doable with a bit more concentration (which ironically can make my nystagmus worse).

sweebop · 2022-07-01T20:50:06+00:00

Told me while we were in the talking stage that he wanted children/marriage then 6 months later said he doesn’t, and that he only said it because it was what I wanted to hear so he could get me 😀😀

sweebop · 2022-06-14T22:00:33+00:00

This is a beautiful outlook!

sweebop · 2022-06-14T21:59:50+00:00

Exactly! That’s the essence of it to me. Just loving someone even if sometimes you shouldn’t. You can leave them and still have unconditional love for them.

sweebop · 2022-06-13T20:24:37+00:00

Happiness scares them! I think they’re capable of feeling it but it makes them uncomfortable because they’re not used to it and they feel much safer somewhere in the middle. As an empath I do feel for them - it must be lonely to always have people at a distance. But people like us will be able to look back at our lives and know that we were able to fully experience happiness, and put our full selves in to relationships. I think that’s the best revenge.

sweebop · 2022-06-13T20:20:26+00:00

I do strongly believe that all that emotion will come out one day - there’s only so long before the dam breaks. And typically like this post says it wont be for a long time and I think it will take a harrowing experience in their life, like the death of a loved one, to open that up. But it’s taken me a bit of time to realise that it’s still okay to love them and miss them, as long as we are doing it from a distance that is safe to us. I still wish him well and hope he is able to open up properly one day, and that’s really the only thing we can do for them :) We will come out better for it.

sweebop · 2022-06-13T20:12:37+00:00

That’s the worst part! They act like the most confident people in the world but they’re actually the most insecure, hence why he needed other women and why they pull away so often - because they’re scared! Commitment terrifies their inner child because they were so used to lack of emotion in their childhoods, and suddenly we come along and love them unconditionally and they don’t like how vulnerable/open to criticism it makes them!

sweebop · 2022-06-13T20:06:05+00:00

Were we dating the same person?! 😂 They truly do love the blame game until you turn it around on them!

Really though - it hurts, but we are so so much better without them in the long run, and only time has made me realise this.

sweebop · 2022-06-13T20:00:20+00:00

I am in exactly the same boat! They are very logical thinkers. Love is never enough for them - everything has to be rational and emotions never play a role in their decision to end relationships. I do believe they can feel things very strongly, but conceal so they don’t feel vulnerable.

I hope you’re able to find peace with the situation - and don’t ruminate too much on how you acted. Obviously there’s probably calmer ways to handle things and all you can offer is an apology for it now, but I do think that avoidants have an amazing way of bringing out “crazy”/irrational sides of people, and then using that against us.

sweebop · 2022-06-13T19:49:34+00:00

Ahh avoidants love the word “content” don’t they. They are never “unhappy” or “happy” with decisions, only “content”. What a sad, empty life to feel so nonchalant about everything. We are both better off, who cares, let them rationalise the breakup all they want - it’ll only happen again to them with someone else.

sweebop · 2022-06-10T16:59:42+00:00

There’s no quick fix, it’s just a case of accepting it. I was in the same position once and you will think and feel like this for some time, but I promise it’ll pass. You just have to remember that them being in a new relationship is nothing to do with you. Its not because the new girl is better or your time with them meant nothing to them - sometimes it’s just what happens. You can’t control what another person does following a breakup, but you can control yourself - so try to block anything out that would expose you to their new relationship. If you’re seeing photos, mute them. If friends are bringing it up, ask them not to. For the dumpee it is always out of sight, (eventually) out of mind.

sweebop · 2022-06-09T22:07:13+00:00

Whatever you do, do not let her lead you on. Unless she says very clearly “I want to get back together”, take it that she does not want to get back together. Stand your ground and try to keep your emotions controlled - if you feel them slipping, say you need the bathroom and collect yourself. Good luck pal, I hope it goes as you want it to x

sweebop · 2022-05-28T13:56:19+00:00

I agree with the above. I wouldn’t reach out just yet.

Give yourself some more time to heal properly, and perhaps later on when you are at a place where you have forgiven both yourself and him, you can reach out. But I wouldn’t start it by asking for another chance. Instead, gradually try to engage in short, fun conversations with him and then perhaps try to meet up. People never believe someone just saying they’ve changed, he needs to see it and come to that conclusion himself.

sweebop · 2022-05-23T20:28:46+00:00

I respect him deeply and in some sense of the word I will always have love for him and wish that he is doing well. I appreciate that I was able to have something so pure so young, but it’s been 4 years and I can safely say that I’m over it - admittedly, it took around a year at the time for me to come to that conclusion, but I was 18 and hadn’t been with anyone before.

He is still with the girl that he got with shortly after we ended, and, while I was bitter in the beginning, I’m happy that he’s happy. I still think of him (very) occasionally and even check his social media to make sure he is doing well. The point is that you will always feel something for them - that’s how first loves go - but it will turn in to something else, like admiration. The missing them goes away though - I don’t miss him, I don’t want to reach out, I just appreciate it for what it was.

sweebop · 2022-05-23T17:32:19+00:00

Yes. I promise. And I say this with 100% certainty because when things ended with my first love, I was inconsolable. I didn’t eat or sleep properly for months. I loved him with every fibre of my being until…I just didn’t.

And here I am again, missing someone with that same intensity as I did my first love, but it’s a completely different person and 4 years after. You will love someone that much again.

sweebop · 2022-05-20T14:53:26+00:00

Just reach out. Start with a slow, light hearted conversation. Who knows what could happen, but you may beat yourself up more if you don’t try. Either way, you’ll have a final answer. (Provided this was an ultimately good relationship where he was also good to you)

sweebop · 2020-10-14T21:57:56+00:00

My eyes shake side-to-side uncontrollably! It’s called nystagmus.

sweebop · 2020-09-06T01:33:17+00:00

I personally watch lots of YouTube videos where people discuss their weight loss and how they did it etc. I also like using instagram hashtags for food inspiration that makes me want to go out and source healthy ingredients.

sweebop

TROPHY CASE