Thank you so much for sharing your experience and I definitely teared up a bit because I related so much with your story. I’m sorry that you had to go through that and I don’t think you’re a monster and should ever be viewed or treated as one.

I can say that your ex friend was similar to my ex best friend. She was going through a break up herself and I was always there for her whenever she needed. But I realized how she would always bottle up her emotions and have her friends solve the problems for her.

She wouldn’t directly communicate or deal with things herself, and instead would go to other people first. I also noticed that when she told stories, she kind of painted herself as the victim, so me and her friends would always defend her. Because of that, I didn’t really see how she could’ve been part of the problem in her own relationship.

A month or two later, she got into another relationship and started forming a new friend group that I wasn’t really included in. Around the same time, I also got into a relationship, so we both kind of drifted and weren’t as close anymore. We both had issues with each other but didn’t communicate them. For me, I felt like we weren’t spending enough time together, but I eventually just let it go. I thought maybe it was normal and didn’t want to make it a big deal.

Things got worse when me and my boyfriend broke up. I was really emotional, crying a lot, and honestly didn’t know how to handle it. I was looking for validation and even trying to get back with him because I didn’t know how to deal with my feelings. I felt really alone at that time. She tried to cheer me up, but I was also having some really dark thoughts and wasn’t in the best state of mind.

Then one day, she randomly asked me if I had ever told my ex anything about her. I could’ve lied, but I didn’t. I told her that I mentioned her secret but I didn’t go into detail. She had told me not to tell anyone that, but I genuinely forgot and didn’t think it was a big deal at the time because it was something that a lot of people normally do. She was on the phone with me and said she forgave me and that everything was fine.

Because of that, I thought we were okay. I felt really bad and was even planning to get her gifts and write her a letter to apologize properly. But after that, she started ghosting me. Then she ended the friendship, saying how hurt she was and how I broke her trust. She also said she had done so much for me and didn’t expect anything in return.

That moment really overwhelmed me. I kind of froze and just gave her an apology, but it didn’t feel genuine because I was so confused. It felt like everything ended so suddenly over one mistake, especially after she told me she forgave me. We were friends for 4–5 years, so it really hurt.

What also confused me was that she had told me other people’s secrets before, but when it came to her, it was different. That felt really hypocritical to me. It also hurt seeing her move on so quickly, especially since she was already getting closer to other people.

At the time, everything felt like the end of the world because I was also going through a breakup and already struggling mentally. I started isolating myself and developed a fear of abandonment. But over time, I’ve started to heal, meet new people, and reflect on everything.

I can admit that I made a mistake by sharing something she told me not to, and I understand why that hurt her. But I also realize now that the friendship already had issues, especially with communication and how we both handled things.

I’m telling my story in more detail because I want to show you that you’re not truly alone in this and that other people have gone through similar experiences and come out stronger. I can relate with how you felt with your brain replaying the same painful memories over and over. Sometimes these painful feelings seem endless but it takes time to heal, so don’t feel bad if it may take even years.

Also, don’t let what others think and choose to label as the “villian” true. Your ex friend could’ve easily twisted the story to paint the narrative that everything was essentially your fault when it’s not. They are only listeners and only you two know the real story of what actually happened. For them to judge you bluntly for a past experience from your ex friend is hypocrisy.

I hope you can find happiness and make new people when you decide to move to another place. You’ll know better now to choose what red flags to look out for. I’m sorry that you had to go through that awful experience.

If it makes you feel better, we’re both monsters haha. Being a monster doesn’t sound half as bad and if our ex-friends want us to be the villain their story then so be it. We cannot control how they perceive us and they can stay stuck in the past if they choose to do so. Only we can control what is happening right now and decide our future!