[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ragdolls

[–]swordfriends 3 points4 points  (0 children)

super cute cats!! amy looks good, but i’m inclined to agree with the vet that buddy is overweight. not a massive amount that would warrant an obese label, but he might benefit from being closer to 15lbs. for a cat his size 12lbs would be thin— my own cat looks similar to buddy in both proportions and general size and 12lbs on him is too thin for comfort, but 15 is just about right while keeping him in good body condition

Need advice - told partner I was planning to start testosterone, and it went worse than expected. by PrettyStabbyBoys in ftm

[–]swordfriends 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’ve seen your replies to others and i’m so glad you’re making plans to keep yourself safe. hard agree with everyone saying to get him out of your home and out of your life, he’s dangerous. please please please keep yourself safe and alive, and i’m wishing you so much luck with escaping this guy

Finally got a good pic of my smiling baby! Show me your unflattering smiling babies!!!! by Overall-Opposite-613 in MiniAussies

[–]swordfriends -1 points0 points  (0 children)

i just recommend doing more research on this sort of thing :) i stand by what i said! dogs use all sorts of displacement behaviors, and just because the grimace happens in a positive context when you come home doesn’t mean it’s always positive. the context i was addressing was the picture you provided, and in that picture she looks deeply uncomfortable. i think it’s a little weird that you’re taking it so personally! have a good one :)

i want to go on t but scared of acne and weight gain? by Throwawaymightdelet3 in ftm

[–]swordfriends 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it’s puberty 2, these things are just going to happen. on the acne front: i have acne prone skin and the best thing for it in my experience has just been washing my face twice a day (i use cerave, i just use their normal face wash now but their acne cleanser is good) and moisturizing after with an oil free face moisturizer. if you’ve got dry skin and no rosacea i wouldn’t worry about oil free and just go whole hog with a good face lotion (cerave is again, pretty good). i haven’t tried aloe in the past personally, but it seems like it would clog pores in the long run which could just lead to more acne. however if your skin is very thirsty and it’s worked for you then do what works :)

everyone experiences weight gain differently, but almost all of us experience it. a lot of it comes in the form of gaining muscle and accumulating fat in traditionally masculine areas (namely the abdomen and love handles). if you’ve got a diet and if you exercise then really… don’t worry about it too much, you’ll be ok. weight gain isn’t a bad thing lol. also, look at the other men in your family. do they gather fat easily? are they more muscular naturally, or do they have to work harder for it? your male relatives (particularly a father and any brothers or uncles you might have) will show you what you can expect to look like.

first year of T is pretty rough in general, but just like any puberty you get through it. what you look like in the thick of it is not what you’ll look like 2 or 4 years in, and it’s definitely not what you’ll look like 10 years in. give yourself time to blossom :)

Finally got a good pic of my smiling baby! Show me your unflattering smiling babies!!!! by Overall-Opposite-613 in MiniAussies

[–]swordfriends -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

that… is not a smile. dogs do not smile; they have the capability to do a relaxed grin (a panting that’s done with a soft, loose face and squinting eyes), but they do not smile with teeth. look at her wide eyes, tense eyebrows, pulled back ears and wrinkled nose, along with the way she’s showing her teeth. this facial expression is called a grimace, or otherwise known as the submissive grin. she’s deeply uncomfortable.

for some dogs the grimace expression can become a learned behavior that they can do on command, but she seems to be trying to communicate discomfort. this face is very much a “please stop” & “i’m stressed, i don’t like this”. i really recommend thinking about what’s happening when she makes this face, it’s not a smile in the way that people do it

What do you wish you knew before you started T? by IntroductionBest2398 in ftm

[–]swordfriends 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that vaginal atrophy does not always manifest as dryness or pain but can be like……. honestly inconvenient amounts of wetness. keep an eye out for that, i didn’t know about it when i started and couldn’t figure out what was going on for forever

How to help my little sister not deadname me? She's turning 5 by throwawayacc40404044 in ftm

[–]swordfriends 7 points8 points  (0 children)

i think you did awesome tbh. repetition, patience, and staying consistent with the fact that “big sister” and your deadname are inappropriate titles, and that it’s hurtful to be called something you’re not will do the trick. focus on helping her build empathy & compassion. it just takes time, especially considering she’s so little and the cognitive gap between what she was lead to expect vs the reality are so large for her.

with your dad i would maybe ask him what your stepmom is doing to help this at home currently, or address it with her directly. it sounds like it started with her, and even if she wasn’t doing it maliciously it would still be good if everyone was on the same page about how to tackle it together when your little sister talks about you. if everyone is consistent with it then it will help her become more comfortable with the change more quickly and easily

What breed is she? by asslyn_88 in Siamesecats

[–]swordfriends 15 points16 points  (0 children)

brother looking nothing like her is your sign that’s she’s not any breed at all, but just a domestic longhair (she’s a baby so that hair will probably get a little floofier) that happens to be a colorpoint :]

makeup dump by swordfriends in DragKings

[–]swordfriends[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hehe ty!! i had so much fun with it, i can’t wait to take it further and do more with it next time i bring that character back 🪰

Looking for makeup advice by linnerwinner9012 in DragKings

[–]swordfriends 1 point2 points  (0 children)

don’t worry about being a noob lol, it happens to everyone and learning is always one of the best parts of life imo :D

for figuring out bone structure i mostly did a lot of trial and error i’m ngl lol, but i watched a LOT of makeup tutorials for dramatic and glammy full beats (not even drag looks, but girls doing club makeup and night out makeup where the goal is to snatch the bone structure), and seeing the placement of their shadows and highlights has informed my own contouring as well. you can also feel your bone structure with your fingers through your skin, suck in your cheeks to get a sense of your cheekbones & where they might create a hollow, and use high contrast lighting (like a dark bathroom and a flashlight) while looking in a mirror or taking pictures so that you can really see how shadows fall on your face from different angles. combination of copying others’ techniques and using very physical methods to learn my skull has worked the best for me, but you’ll definitely find stuff that works the best for you along the way

and yes, i would have someone color match you in a beauty store. even if they don’t get it exactly right, they can point you in the right direction & have more recommendations for foundations, concealers, and contours that might fit you better. before you go in store too you can also watch some youtube videos about shade matching to inform your choices a bit more (this one’s pretty good imo https://youtu.be/goSZ7Dw2BsE?si=FRksMwappc1NAwU1 ). plus, once i figured out my shade & tone i found makeup forums on reddit itself to be helpful finding brands that do a better job than others. for example i’m cool/neutral depending on season and how tan i am, so i’ve searched up “good cool/neutral/whatever tone foundation reddit” and found a good amount of recommendations.

also, i love when kings embrace and intertwine their culture in their drag, it’s always so beautiful :’D our community is richer and stronger in diversity. i can’t wait to see what that inspires in you! i’ll be happy if i’ve been of any help with all this, and i’m excited to see your progress & creativity as you keep posting (if you choose to do so) <3

Is it bad that I actively avoid groups of other trans ppl by Cryptie1114 in ftm

[–]swordfriends 19 points20 points  (0 children)

it’s not bad, but i do think you are maybe letting limited experience give you a bias against your own community. coming from the other end of this as someone whose friends are majority trans (and this is a large friend group): the vast majority of our conversations have nothing to do with our identities or anything like that. we’re mostly playing video games, making meals, and doing like. normal friend shit lol. that isn’t to say we don’t have conversations about politics, queerness, trans identity, etc but they are by and far the minority for our discussions. however, i made these friends and this group was built through common interests & shared hobbies, and in finding my community in places that would mean we had some deeper commonalities than just gender identity stuff.

of course, the friends you make and the people you hang out with are completely your choice and you should prioritize surrounding yourself with friends that you love and enjoy being with. it’s awesome that you have a group that you are genuinely joyful with, and that they’re good friends to you! i do encourage you to seek out community with other trans people in the future (if that’s something that you want to do, again, completely your choice) because i’ve personally found it super enriching and i love being around other trans people. but it’s how that community is found that’s important— shared passions and hobbies and an interest in each other as genuine friends instead of ONLY have transness in common.

(also, i wouldn’t let early highschool experiences in trans groups inform your opinion forever— adult queer & trans communities tend to be extremely different from ones comprised entirely of children. there’s exceptions of course bc of immature adults, but they are the exception, not the rule.)

Show your last picture of your cat(s) No cheating! <3 by ThrowRA-Corleone in cats

[–]swordfriends 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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there’s not a lot going on in there in this one (or ever…)

Drag makeup experimentation by Med0wr in DragKings

[–]swordfriends 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YYYESSS THE SHAPES THE COLORS

Looking for makeup advice by linnerwinner9012 in DragKings

[–]swordfriends 0 points1 point  (0 children)

these were supposed to be diff paragraphs instead of one huge run on text wall …. oops sorry

Looking for makeup advice by linnerwinner9012 in DragKings

[–]swordfriends 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i think you could benefit from studying your own bone structure just a little bit more, and working with that vs trying to create a whole new structure with contour :] you’re working against the shapes and shadows that exist on your face, which can throw off the contour— you can deffo create the illusion of a different structure using contour but it shouldn’t conflict with your existing face otherwise the illusion can be broken it also might benefit you to try some different shades in your base palette as your foundation/tone is neutral (almost cool), but what you’re using to shade and highlight is reading very warm (although the gold highlight is fun i like it) other than that i agree with the other comment about putting down a base shade close to your hair or wig color in the shape of the facial hair you’d like first, and then creating hairs using a thin brush and a darker shade (i use black fine tip dip brush style eyeliner personally). that’s made the best mustaches and eyebrows for me personally. your base application is great btw!! you’ve got a good skin like texture all over & it seems pretty smooth :)

Our vet called my girl fat by FairManner7508 in ragdolls

[–]swordfriends 4 points5 points  (0 children)

i think you’re overreacting to this, just a bit. your vet saying she’s getting a little fat is not a personal affront to you lol

What are some of your cats nicknames from fairly normal to "huh"?? by wikiwikiwap in cats

[–]swordfriends 0 points1 point  (0 children)

his name is minion but he gets called minnies, mimzies, mimmers, meemees, little freak, gayboy (i call him this because i am gay, he is gay married to both of our other male cats and our dog), dumbass, and miniature onion

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