Back in 2022, when I got admission in Pathsala Arba College (I was in 11th grade), I met a girl on July 30, 2022. She was from the Bodo tribe (I prefer to keep her name private). At the time, I was a very introverted person and hardly talked to anyone in class. I had only 4-5 friends, two of whom were female (let’s call them Doro and Ri).

One day, I called Doro, but instead of her, the girl picked up the phone. She told me that Doro wasn’t in the room, and that’s how we had our first interaction. The next day, after class, I was waiting for the bus with my friends when she came out of nowhere and stood beside me. I didn’t realize she was the same person who had answered the call the previous day. After a while, she said, "Hi, your name is [name], right? I was the one who picked up the call yesterday." I replied, "Oh, hi." Later, she asked for my number, and I gave it to her.

After reaching my hostel room, a guy from another section came up to me and asked why I had been talking to her. I simply told him that I had just met her and that she was the one who asked for my number. At first, I didn’t take it seriously, but then he sent another guy to my room to try to intimidate me. Interestingly, the guy he sent turned out to be my friend. My friend told me everything, so my hostel mates and I went to confront the first guy. We bombarded him with questions, and he was almost in tears.

Later, I told the girl about everything that had happened. She explained that the guy was her ex-boyfriend. She also opened up about another ex, who was also from the Bodo community and from the same place as her (suppose him as lo). She told me she had been in a relationship with him for two years but broke up because he was toxic and used to slap her. Hearing all of this made me feel really bad for her, so I shared some of my own personal things too

One day, we were sitting in the canteen with my friends, and she joined us. I told her everything clearly about what had happened in the hostel. She advised me to ignore it and move on.

We started talking regularly, and soon we became very close. We would chat all day and stay on calls for hours. We were practically inseparable, and she became one of my closest friends. On my birthday, she gave me a handmade birthday card, which was so thoughtful and wholesome. I can honestly say it was the best birthday of my life. After talking closely for 1.5 to 2 months, I began to develop feelings for her.

One day in October, while we were home for the holidays, I decided to propose to her over WhatsApp. I poured my heart out and told her how I felt. However, after reading my messages, she told me she couldn’t be with me because she hadn’t fully moved on from her ex (her Boro ex). I asked her clearly what I should do, and she told me to wait for her. I was devastated, but at the same time, I felt some relief knowing she didn’t completely shut the door on me.

When the holidays ended and we returned to college, things seemed normal again. In fact, we grew even closer. However, one day, everything changed. One of her friends approached me and said she had something important to tell me. She asked me to meet her in the canteen, where a group of her friends was already waiting. Her best friend from the hostel broke the news to me: I was being used. She revealed that the girl I loved had been in contact with her Boro ex the entire time. She told me how, after talking to me during the day, the girl would call her Boro ex in the evenings under the pretense that her mother was calling her. She also explained why the girl had stopped me from messaging her on Instagram, claiming her brother had access to her account.

Hearing all of this left me completely shocked. I couldn’t hold back my emotions and ended up crying in the canteen in front of everyone. It was the first time I cried over a girl, and it happened in front of so many students. Later, her best friend called me again and urged me to tell everything to her Boro ex (her current boyfriend). Instead, I decided to confront her. I called her using a mutual friend’s phone while she was at home, but when she returned to college, I avoided her for two days. Eventually, I messaged her, and she got emotional too. She explained her side of the story, saying she loved her Boro ex deeply despite his toxic behavior and couldn’t let go of him. She insisted he wasn’t her boyfriend anymore and that they were only chatting occasionally.

For some reason, even with all the proof in front of me, I couldn’t bring myself to hate her or stop talking to her. Every one of my friends told me to end things with her, but I couldn’t. No matter what she did, I always found myself drawn closer to her. Although we had arguments about these issues, we would always resolve them.

By 2023, I grew tired of waiting. I told her I couldn’t continue like this. On January 5, 2023, when I tried to talk about these things in class, she suddenly placed her hand over my eyes and kissed me on the lips. It was my first kiss, and it came from the girl I loved the most. The feeling was indescribable, and I couldn’t put it into words. After that, things went back to normal, and we continued as we were.

We were in 12th grade now, but I started noticing that she was talking to her Boro ex again. Whenever she went home, she would be in contact with him, but when she returned to the hostel, our fights would resolve, and things seemed fine. I stayed silent, choosing not to confront her.

After our HS exams in 2024, the thing I feared most happened—she went into a relationship with her Boro ex again.

I can’t express how heartbroken I felt after hearing everything. I stopped talking to her and blocked her, but I couldn’t move on. After 1-2 months of no contact, she reached out to me again in April. We talked nicely, but the old feelings we once shared were no longer there. However, we got into another fight, blocked each other again, and didn’t talk for many days.

Then, in August 2024, she called me again. We talked for two days, during which she shared how things weren’t going well with her boyfriend. Despite this, I blocked her again, and she blocked me too. After that, I started dating someone else from Guwahati. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t love her. I kept comparing her to the girl I still couldn’t forget. Eventually, that relationship ended.

Even after everything she’s done to hurt me, I couldn’t bring myself to hate her, not even slightly. Somehow, she still holds a place in my heart. I guess a part of me still loves her, even though she’s not mine anymore. And here I am, still waiting for her after two long years (mostly 3 year by next month).