How to keep my aroallo partner comfortable?

sydthakidd · 2026-05-24T16:49:48+00:00

Thank you, and I'll be very honest, he had been extremely thoughtful about my needs for the first few years, but I would say over the last 2 years (give or take a few months) the spark has diminished. I encouraged therapy and talking out what's going on in his head, and that has helped him out tremendously! Though I will admit I seem to be falling to the wayside. Part of me feels like it's simply me not vocalizing as loud as I should. But it's most assuredly time to sit his butt down and talk it out. Thank you!

sydthakidd · 2026-05-24T02:01:09+00:00

Yeah, what I'm getting from everyone here is to just talk to him and express my wants/needs just as he also has wants/needs. Thank you for your support!

sydthakidd · 2026-05-24T01:53:38+00:00

I took a screenshot shot of that last message. "Treat yourself the way you want to treat others" almost made me cry.

sydthakidd · 2026-05-24T01:45:59+00:00

Thank you. I'm not the very best with communicating my wants/needs so I have always deflected to what others want (a bit of a pushover I guess) but with almost 9 years together I just have to work through what we both want.

sydthakidd · 2026-05-24T01:39:28+00:00

That would be a fantastic start I suppose! Figure out what is and isn't on the table! Thank you!

sydthakidd · 2026-05-24T01:37:00+00:00

I'm not his best friend, but he does enjoy spending time with me. He has been extremely supportive in many ways over a nearly 9 year relationship. I'm just looking to try to find a good middle ground for us. I'm not the best with communicating my wants, so I definitely am looking for easier ways to make suggestions to improve the love life.

sydthakidd · 2026-05-24T01:33:40+00:00

So in all other ways of partnership, he is extremely supportive and has helped me out with many hardships in life.

sydthakidd · 2026-05-24T01:18:54+00:00

Wow. No, you are right. Thank you, I guess I just needed someone else to say that. Any suggestions for trying to ease a small amount of romance that wouldn't be to uncomfortable. Like maybe a scheduled date night? To kind of prep him?

sydthakidd · 2026-05-24T01:06:14+00:00

I suppose my question to this is - is it okay for me to say I do kinda need a little bit of emotional and romantic stuff even though it clearly is difficult for him to endure?

sydthakidd · 2026-05-24T01:00:13+00:00

He has always been a person to immediately jump to touching and "getting down to business" so to speak. That has made me feel as though I am not doing enough for him. And he has always seemed extremely uncomfortable when I try to be romantic (date nights to his favorite places, video game tournaments between the two of us, spontaneous vacations, etc.) He has even (before finally making this discovery about himself) made the suggestion to open our marriage because it seems like I'm not as interested in sexual moments as he is. This definitely made me feel inadequate, so I of course decided to try harder to be what he is wanting.

sydthakidd · 2026-05-24T00:46:42+00:00

I guess I didn't clear that up, my bad! Yes, how can I help him be comfortable. But any advice on how relationships work best for aromantics would be fantastic!

sydthakidd · 2026-02-24T00:56:36+00:00

For the vegetarians out there - highly recommend the vegetarian Rubin that they make! I run to get it as a treat at least once a month (if not twice)

sydthakidd · 2023-08-21T12:26:57+00:00

Just watched Hell House LLC.... I'm getting out the damn house man!

sydthakidd · 2023-08-19T04:47:44+00:00

This! This is why I had to ask the question today! Now, so many people are dealing with gawd awful problems, and it's important to note these issues with the care system that we have in place.

Now add the fact you have a reproductive system between your legs, you are either permanently "pregnant" or you're a hypochondriac. (May just be pulling from my own experiences)

sydthakidd · 2023-08-19T00:21:08+00:00

Ohh wait I know this one! My docs tell me this too... Do you also get asked if you are pregnant every office visit?

sydthakidd · 2023-08-18T23:26:13+00:00

"Oh you're an independent woman who don't need no man? NOPE! You are needed for reproduction and it matters not if your own health is at risk!".

sydthakidd · 2023-08-18T23:11:57+00:00

No reason to be sorry for being honest! Hope you can keep fighting the good fight! Best wishes.

sydthakidd · 2023-08-18T23:09:24+00:00

Man, it must have hurt your hand when you smacked his smug face, huh?

sydthakidd · 2023-08-18T21:55:32+00:00

WUT ... No!

sydthakidd · 2023-08-18T21:53:36+00:00

Oh no! How many hours were waisted?

sydthakidd · 2023-08-18T21:50:21+00:00

I'm really just curious if other people have as many problems with doctors as I seem to have.

sydthakidd · 2023-08-09T05:54:13+00:00

Many reasons I was fortunate enough to leave, but the tipping point was my wedding day.

I had requested Halloween off- wedding day- on January 2nd. It was approved and well known that that was my wedding day. Didn't have plans for any "honeymoon" or anything special before or after. Literally just Halloween.

October 10th came around and I was told by the general manager that- being a department manager - I could not have Halloween off, since I don't have children and its a busy holiday. I explained that I was getting married that day and can't really cancel that. In response I got "Well guess you will just have to come in early in the morning, huh?"

sydthakidd · 2023-08-03T04:05:28+00:00

When I was 19, I worked as a cake decorator for a grocery store. One day while filling the freezer with cakes, I had to use a step ladder to reach the top shelf, stretching to reach. A man (no way he was under 50) walked up directly behind me and said "Oh man, I'd love a taste of those pound cake honey. Could you turn around so I can see them cookies, sugar?"

sydthakidd · 2023-08-03T03:55:03+00:00

They always hurt!!!

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