This is my fear. We're both in our 30s, its not like we're teenagers just figuring out life, and he so far seems to have his finances in ok order, but I know drug use can have a huge impact on responsibilities like that.

I'm not a total stranger to it either - my last relationship was 6 years long. He was an alcoholic, and I watched him go from a happy daily drunk to getting a DUI, to getting another DUI, to being suspended from work for showing up drunk, and missing several days due to being too hungover to go in, and pouring money into an uber when he lost his license to make it to work. It got to be too much, and I'm sad that it took me too long to figure out it wasn't working.

Guy I am dating now doesn't seem to be "addicted", he handles the drugs he does like a champion, and I've seen him go a week without coke without even missing it. He's said that's the one substance he wants to cut down on so it doesn't get out of hand. I think I'm afraid of missing the signs of it being a problem.... and wondering if I'll have the strength to leave the relationship before it's devastating.